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My wife wants an open relationship, because of my small penis.

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My wife and I are both pretty young. I'm 29, she's 33. We have 2 kids. 1 is a teen, other is a 4 year old. When we got together, I was a virgin (23 years old), and she obviously was not. She had a daughter and a previous marriage. 


We've been together for almost 6 years now. Sexually, I don't think I've ever been enough for her. I'm obese, always have been ever since I can remember, and my soldier is incredibly small. Soft, its an innie. Hard, about 3 inches. 


My wife cheated on me years ago, but we've moved past that. I know its because he has a bigger member than mine. Now, she wants an open relationship. She straight up told me that I haven't made her "o", our entire relationship. That it's because of my size. 


This absolutely crushed me. More than I can put into words. 


I agreed to the open relationship, because I love her, I love our family together. I can't imagine not being with her and our kids. Plus, it isn't fair to her, its my fault. So I want her to have fun, and feel fulfilled. I know I can never do that. 


That conversation was 1 week ago. She had a hookup within a couple days. She works at a truck stop, and went with one of her regulars. He's a truck driver, 24 years old, has kids. Seems like a nice guy I guess.


But like, she was with him for almost 24 hours. She got off work that night, hopped in his big rig. They went to a neighboring state to pick up. Then to another neighboring state to drop off, and didn't come back until the next night, around midnight. 


We had talked about it and I knew she was going to be gone for that long. But it scared me. She didn't check in with me, or give me his truck info so I knew who he was incase she disappeared. I was stuck at home with our kids, an absolute wreck. 


She's sleeping it off today. Showed me the bruises from the rough sex she had. Said that he's not "hung like a horse", but he's significantly bigger than I am, and way more dominant (hence the bruising). 


I was trying to process it all, and be supportive and all that. Then she tells me he's coming back to town tonight, and she's going to her work to meet up with him for a little bit. 


I know I agreed to it. But this is all happening so fast. I asked her if she had fun, she said yes, and "a person can only orgasm so many times in 24 hours. I'm exhausted, its been years since I've done this"


Which destroyed me again. 


I know I'm worthless when it comes to sex. I've always struggled with my penis size. I've actually attempted suicide before because of it. 


This is all just bringing me back to a dark, dark place. I don't know what to do, or how I can change my way of thinking. It feels like now that she has the freedom to sleep with whomever she wants, I'm no longer needed. 


I'm just the guy who watches the kids, and rubs your back after you've been banged silly by some guy. 


Don't know what to do. Sorry if I wasted your time, or if this has been covered before. I'm just a wreck. 

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I've had similar experiences, so I know how difficult and painful this is for you.

I wish I had advice ready for you.  If she can continue to respect you and the family maybe you can adjust.

Perhaps you should ask her to provide more information so you know what to do if something goes wrong.  That might be a reassuring indication of her good intentions.

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  • 3 months later...

that's a nightmare ....  first thing try to lose weight and workout your body having big muscles can somehow cover significantly  the small size of the penis

that's my opinion , yes my penis is small but looking strong ++ will improve the looking of your Virility. im obese like you , i do train and stop ,but in your situation that's the first step i would do to attract the wife, also exercice will help you alot with the stress you can put your anger on it rather than suicide or get heart attack.

what matters in this life is person's health ,what would you do if you got long penis but has balanitis desease like me for example it will be worthless. at that point you will which a small penis that is safe and not infected .....




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2 hours ago, bizzarecontact said:

that's a nightmare ....  first thing try to lose weight and workout your body having big muscles can somehow cover significantly  the small size of the penis

I know your comment is well intention ed, but revolutionizing his physical presence enough to make a difference any time soon is unlikely.

He has to figure-out if his wife values him and their family enough to make it work and whether he can tolerate the knowledge she doesn't value him for sex.  She does seem open and honest.  Maybe it would work-out better if she brought her men home for safety.

I was living with a woman who finally after I got suspicious admitted that she she would always need multiple sex partners.  It was too big a part of her life.  At first I had no problem with her going out for the night fairly often.

But soon she was treating me like her submissive.  I thought our sex was great, but soon found it wasn't as far as she was concerned.  She wanted me only as a conquest.

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Medicated Insanity, I am getting an idea why your wife already had a previous marriage. Imo it is not all your fault if she is not happy and satisfied, she has to take some responsibility for that herself. And then she goes and gets knocked around/bruised by someone she hardly knows?

Don't allow her to crush you mentally or physically, this lady has her own issues.


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Some people, men and women, become addicted to promiscuous sex.  Definitely that is "having issues."  Generally, only aging ends the habit once acquired.

Probably in most cases it gets more and more out of control instead of becoming a stable life style that a sexually rejected mate might be able to tolerate.

In my case, I wouldn't have minded if she had or even seemed to have an interest in sex with me.  Mutual sex, not dominant submissive kinkiness.

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  • 1 year later...

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