Why do we put ourself threw this

[King238]

I can't speak for everyone else, but I feel like everyone in our lives feel they have the answer to your life how much mentally you can take. Overtime I noticed I allowed these people to do so as soon as i begain to have panic attacks and phobia's. Now that these people are in my life they either think im crazy when i make a drastic decision and I end up having to take the criticism from people who have no idea what really going on in my head. When does the break of of depression and anxiety end. I went jobless for a while. I was scared im not gonna lie. In everyone elses eyes i was lazy. Now I ot a new job just to shut everyone up. My anxiety level and my depression have increased to the point im taking up to 6mg of xanax a day just to not have a panic attack during work and to deal with the people i work with. Now I notice everyone is happy but me, I feel so much worse off now that I have this job I can't stand due to social issue's. So how do you win? If I quit my job everyone will be pointing the finger again. If I stay at my job I remain miserable,scared, and anxious. Im going to be done with my usual full month prescription within two weeks of it being filled. I used to go over a month without needing it filled. No one understands me including my fiance's. Is sacrificing my mental health worth pleasing everyone else in the world because they just don't understand. Im at breaking point, I cant sleep, my stomach is constantly turning and burning, now i have non stop anxiety, my depression level is so low I almost dont care about anything or anyone around me anymore. I refuse to give up, I try so hard not to give up. These thing accumulate in my head an make me a horrible person to be around. I say things I dont mean. I am very angree. Yes I know everyone who life is not going the way they want it to be is like that. This seems to be on a diff level of anger. I don't know anymore.....I feel like im living for everyone but me.

[finding my way]

Hi King238, and welcome!. You are so right, you cannot possibly please everyone, especially when what you really need is help for yourself. Do you have a therapist to talk to? It is always good to have therapy along with medication. Medication alone is not supposed to be the solution. You will find many people here that are struggling as you are with boundary issues in their relationships and also struggling to find ways to cope that are healthy. It sounds like the expectations of others are a major stressor in your life; they are wanting you to function at a level that you are really not feeling you can do. What you need is more support!!!! If you could get some help with the things that are bothering you, you might have a better time seeing your way clear of some of these obstacles. That is what a therapist can do to help. We are happy to help too if we can:)

[paula]

Hi King238 & welcome to our Community

I understand too well where your coming from and have the same issues as you, but fortunately, I am seeking help by means of Psychiatrist, Psychologist & in Therapy.

Im at breaking point, I cant sleep, my stomach is constantly turning and burning, now i have non stop anxiety, my depression level is so low I almost dont care about anything or anyone around me anymore. I refuse to give up, I try so hard not to give up. These thing accumulate in my head an make me a horrible person to be around. I say things I dont mean. I am very angree. Yes I know everyone who life is not going the way they want it to be is like that. This seems to be on a diff level of anger. I don't know anymore.....I feel like im living for everyone but me.

I know this is hard but you must get help to try and help you deal with these situations in the first place. At the moment you will feel like "your pissing against the wind!" I know how it feels, as I've been down that road sooo many times my self!

[King238]

Thanks, its nice to finally "see" other people in my mind. It feels real lonely without someone who actual knows what your talking about.

[paula]

Oooh! I know all to well what your talking about King!

[Proverbs31:28]

First, I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. I find myself similarly. I am currently not working due to panic, anxiety & depression. I imagine everyone judging me all the time. Not sure if they really are as I don't speak much about it. But, I fear the day I return to work. How to handle it. How to cope. My own opinion is, for what its worth, that you can never make decisions for other people. If you truly returned to work to please others, you may have done a huge disservice to yourself. Now, having said that, I'm not saying you can't find a way to cope with a combination of meds and therapy. Are you currently in therapy? If so, what does T say about returning to work? If not, would you consider it? I am actually working with a therapist right now with my long-term goal being to return to the workforce. I am hoping she will be able to help me make the transition instead of just jumping in!

I am glad you found us. This is a great place to talk to others who have btdt and understand. I hope you find the support and advice here that you need.