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Father and my relationship


Ob1one
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My father and I have a good and bad relationship. We have a good relationship that I can somewhat talk with him, and we do love each other. The problem is that for one he is unbelievably defensive due to his relationship with his father which I won't get into. He's so defensive that even when he does something wrong he finds a way to blame me. Examples of this is when I was young we were playing ball and it went over the fence. He started messing around with me by throwing it over then I needed to get it and I was getting very angry so I called him a jerk and left it, he exploded on my and since I was young I could fit under the bed so I hid there.

These days he can be very disrespectful recently he ate some cereal I got for school mornings, I asked nice, calmly, and respectfully, could you not eat that cereal I have it for school, something extremely small like that he says I paid for it screw you I'll eat whatever I want. He's a nice man but he takes Every Thing personally. I know all teens says they want more respect but they really don't deserve it but I give all adults including my parents due respect but not only from other people but including mostly my father I never get that respect I give back. An example would be that in the middle ages when two horsemen passed by they would raise they're swords as a sign of respect you raise your sword that means you respect him and if he raises his sword that means he also respects you. What I get is I raise my swords and the other man glares then spits on me.

One of the biggest problems is that hes defensive but he also offends easily. He would never hit me so what he does instead is he either acts or really gets offended then I feel bad for him because I don't want to hurt him let alone how much he hurts me. And even if I decided enough is enough hes defensive if I spoke out against him I'd get yelled at because he's being a jerk and a baby. It's like a absolutely PERFECT trap. He yells out at me I talk back he gets offended and deeply hurt and I get in even more trouble. What I want to now is how can I get around his defense pretty much.

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My husband is quite negative towards one of our sons. This is also to do with how he was treated as a child. He has had counselling, but this seems to be deeply engrained in him.

With the help of my counsellor I am working on improving that relationship, i.e. encouraging him to see the positive side of our son, ignoring what he percieves to be negative behaviour and praising the good behaviour. Our son is 16.

I wonder would your mother intervene on your behalf and encourage your father to build a better relationship with you?

Goose

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