Very angry

[notmary]

I am posting here in response to the 16 year old possible pedophile. His post has made me so angry. I feel like I could scream, hollar, pound something. I know that I am supposed to be supportive of people but I can't do it.

[mscat]

I am posting here in response to the 16 year old possible pedophile. His post has made me so angry. I feel like I could scream, hollar, pound something. I know that I am supposed to be supportive of people but I can't do it.

Yes, I know how angry you are feeling :mad: I hardly ever look in that fourm, but did , because the boy is the same AGE as my son. I felt sick , and extremely upset , than wished i had not read it .

But, he did respond to what i wrote, I am hoping he gets the help he needs, before he does become a predator. A budding child abuser, Pedophile, is ths absolute worse, IMO.

I understand, and hope that we can in this community lead this young man in the right direction. That he gets help, and NEVER acts upon his sick impulses.

Just wanted u to know that your certainly not alone , in the way you feel.

Edited September 29, 2009 by mscat

[David O]

Hi notmary,

You're by no means not the only one who has expressed great anger, pain, being triggered or somehow affected by this thread, and especially the level of detail given. As a survivor of multiple and multiple sexual abuses, violence and other abuses under a brutal dictatorship, I too was deeply disturbed when I read thru it.

Your anger is justified, how could it not be; however, I would rather have him here discussing his issue with us, no matter how difficult it is for us to listen to, than have him disappear, go underground due to our refusal to listen or if we showed disrespect, and surface with a 12 year old victim today and a 10 year old one week later. In a sense, I see us maybe being able keep him engaged with in a way that prevents the behavior from happening long enough for him to get treatment.

I'm so sorry this has been so difficult for you and everyone else. I pm'ed him earlier and asked him to be careful with how he presents his situation here given how many people here have experienced abuse. My hope is that he does stay with us, as mscat suggests, listens to the pain he could cause and makes a decision to see someone professionally now and not later.

[Catmom]

I would like to interject something here. I am fortunate in that although my family had dysfunction, I was never sexually abused so the posts about pedophila don't send me into an overwhelmed state as it does for many here.

That being said, I hope that this individuals posting privledges are terminated if he continues to express his obsessions here without at least saying he is seeking professional help. In my opinion, this community cannot be all things to all people and it is wrong for moderators and administrators to allow the rest of the community to be subjected to these fantasies of abusing helpless innocents.

I know that Mark is striving to rein this person in, but sometimes I think Mark is too easygoing.

We have no way of knowing if radsla is telling the truth should he say he is getting in person help, but if he continues along the same vein of repeating his obsessions over and over, he should not be indulged in this. In fact, this shocking of others may be part of the thrill of it all for him.

The idea that we should be "understanding" so that we will keep him from acting out his fantasies and preying upon a child is magical thinking. In short, if he is going to abuse children, he will do so and our being exposed to this material will not change that fact.

If he says he is truly getting therapy and if his thought process shows signs of change I would be the first to support this.

[loubylou]

i have to agree with the above it is disheartening that anybody even believes his story of getting help he hasnt stated he will i dontthink he should be on the boards and i know am a new member so to speak but he has upset a great many adult sexual abuse survivors me included and i am over my abuse now after many years of therapy counselling tears and tantrums its unfair to many on here to be triggered in this way when they come here for help

[David O]

Good morning Catomom & Loubylou,

You both make excellent points. I think Mark expressed the rules of the road fairly clearly and by doing so, has given the moderators good guidance and leeway to manage the situation should he continue to post as he has. I'm on here generally in the mornings and evenings and off and on throughout the day, so will keep a close eye on it.

Again, I'm so sorry for how this is affecting everyone. Please pm any of the moderators (not sure who they all are, but others I think, include Malign, Kaudio and Just trying-- there may be a few more), since jointly we're on here more frequently than Mark, if you feel like the situation is getting out of hand. Pming Allan is also an excellent idea.

David O

Edited September 29, 2009 by David O

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Everybody,

I want to assure all of you that Mark has been on top of the issue of this supposed 16 y.o. If his behavior continues, he will be barred. Unfortunately, these things do happen and spam does get through. I do not know if this is spam, a 16 y.ol., a pedophile or just a commercial spammer. However, it has been attended to for now and he will be barred permanently if he continues.

You anger about this is quite understandable and quite appropriate. I want to thank you, Mscat and others, for alerting me and I alerted Mark who acted quickly when I was not able to.

Allan

Edited September 29, 2009 by ASchwartz

[loubylou]

thankyou i hope that this kinda stuff is watched n monitored it breaks my heart

[notmary]

Thank you for looking into this. I don't know why I am so upset, all I know is that last night was full of nightmares... the kind where you don't know what is scaring you, but you wake up terrified. I know that it was my fault for reading the thread. I won't read threads along this vein again.