I can't identify the thought

[goose]

If I could identify the thought maybe I could begin to deal with it.

The position is that every time I walk past my son's old primary school I get a sinking feeling, I feel sad about all the trouble we had there and all the times I sat in the principals office crying. I also feel some of the old fear of confrontation.

I now avoid this route because I don't like having these feeling.

I'm stuck on how to resolve this because I don't know what the thought is, so I can't reframe it.

Any help?

Goose

[SweetSue]

hey goose,

I am not sure if there is a single thought or way of wording the way that you feel when you go past the school, or why.

maybe..............

do you think its possible,....

If instead of thinking that was awful, as you drive past, and then remembering the horrid feelings you experienced in the principles room,

That in someway you change the thought to something like......

At least that part of our life is over now, and then maybe you could think of something good or funny that had happened either on the way to school or whilst bringing you son home.

That may help to releave some of the fear and emotion that you experience.

Dont know if that helps any, coz think I have got my words muddled (again), maybe you will be able to work out what I am trying to say ?

Take care,

Jj

Edited October 13, 2009 by SweetSue

[LostSouls]

i agree with jessicajane you need to change your thought association with it, its kinda like an addiction and triggers, like seeing someone you use to drink with all the time after recovery will make you think of drinking and thats not what you wanna do if your in that situation so you could avoid em i guess it depends really, and if not you just yea like i said change your thought association with in your case a place....if your a little more interested in it look up addiction and triggers and see how there associated with one another and how you can overcome and change em, i know it may seem irrelavant to you but its not tha much different.

also sometimes people look too hard for something and end up never seeing it at all sometimes you just gotta set back and let in your case the answer just come to you, i may have misunderstood but i seem to understand your problem and see the solution too it.

Edited January 19, 2010 by LostSouls

[Bluerose]

My thought on this would be to acknowledge the thoughts your having that don’t quite register. Think something along the lines of, “Yes it was a tough time and I hated every minute of it but we are not there anymore we are here and things are changing for the better every day.”

I hated school as a kid and this caused a certain amount of school phobia in me. My boys went away to school but my daughter went to school locally since she was much younger. At one point and for a few month I actually paid someone to take her to school. I dreaded school meetings.

[FallingUp]

I think you are traumatized... maybe it will help to work it out in therapies?

I have the more or less same feeling too whenever I think about jobbing, because I got bullied during an internship that ended around 3 months ago. I still couldn't forget it and cry everytime I remember the pain. It does help talking about it though.

I talk and talk about it till I get tired. And the pain subsides slowly.

Hope that helps!