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Am I being emotionally abused?


Quinner
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Am I being emotionally abused? Or do I just need to let go? I have this ex gf that refuses to speak to me now because of some misunderstandings we had this summer. I can't get this issue out of my head and I've sent repeated emails practically begging her to talk to me but she has never replied. I don't know what to do, I don't feel that I deserve this treatment, we were together for over 2 years and now she feels that she has the right to just completely shut me out of her life? I feel like I can't respect myself untill I fix things up with her and it's been really taking its toll on me.

I was reading through what it means to be 'emotionally abused' and one of the things is that you feel inferior all the time, like this person is constantly putting you down. That's the effect this silence has on me, I can't feel good about myself ever. It feels like I never will again until I get this resolved with her. On top of that I really don't feel like this treatment is deserved. 2 years is almost 10% of my entire life and those experiences meant alot to me, and I don't think its fair that she just gets to shut me out when all I really want to do is apologize, I never cheated on her or anything like that. Can anyone clear this up for me? Do I have a case here? Or do I just need to let this issue go.

Ps. Letting it go thus far has been miserably unsuccessful and its been 2 months since she stopped talking to me :(

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Hi Quinner,

Sorry if what I am about to say is harsh, its just my oppinion, ok.

It sounds as though your ex g/f dosnt want to be with you anylonger. For what ever reason. You guys broke up 2 months ago. she is ignoring your efforts, so maybe it is time to just call it a day.

Your ex g/f does have the right to completely shut you out of her life. in her eyes the relationship is over.

It is sad when a relationship breaks for whatever reason. Quinner IMO, you should just let things be, move on with your life,, and allow your ex g/f to get on with hers.

I understand that this is painful for you to deal with, but you cant make someone have feelings for you. You have done all you realisticly can. You need to concentrate on letting go now.

I am sorry if I have upset you, I do not mean to. I left my ex b/f 2 years ago, and quite honestly I just wish he would get the message and leave me alone.

Take care

Jj

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Guest GingerSnap

I have to agree that your gf has every right to shut you out of her life for whatever reason she may choose. I take it that you told her you were sorry in your email so your part is done. I am wondering if there were control issues in the relationship since you seem to feel that she can't make decisions of whom she does and does not want in her life. You didn't say what you did to make her shut you out but obviously she had a bottom line on something and you crossed it. Some things cannot be fixed and if we are smart, we learn something so we avoid making mistakes that cause people to shut us out of their lives. I am not going to deny her the right to chose who she has in her life and neither should you.

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Yeah, unfortunately, no matter how much it hurts you, there's no rule that says you can force someone else to talk to you. That's not abuse, that's just reality. She's not stalking you or hurling insults at you; those would be more like abuse. She's ignoring you, that's all. You might be hurt by that, but not all hurts are abuse.

I do think you would do well to talk to someone about how that makes you feel. Your feelings are legitimate even though it's not a solution to force her to talk to you about them. As you pointed out yourself, the issue is that you feel like you can't respect yourself. That's something you could try to address with a counselor of some sort.

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