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Angry, loosing control !!!


SweetSue
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sue,

I think it is because you have internalized your anger so long , or have taken it out on yourself, or even have felt your anger through depression . Now it is starting to come out outwards .

physically , your wanting to lash out , and take your anger out on others. You have a lot to be angry about, and probably feel very out of control at the moment, and have knowhere to place your anger anymore.

I've talked to you a little bit, and just guessing here, and this is what I am thinking is happening . You need a safe way to express your anger , where it is not going to hurt anybody or yourself. Anger is normal , we all feel it. Problem is when it becomes build up , and thei is too much inside of us, then it is left to fester , and we are going to feel like we will become out of control . Please talk to your therapist or DR . about a safe alternative to get this anger OUT . you need to .

I know you want to probably do something that is not ok , but we know that is not going to help you . i have the same things with anger myself, and hate having to deal with it, but when I get pushed hard enough I will end up swearing like a sailor to whoever pissess me off . and I am known to become pretty volitile. But, I do not physically get into fights.

I hope you will be ok , my thought are with you ,

cathy

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ohh, i didnt mean physically hitting out at people as in fighting. i could never be like that.

but i certainly feel like smashing the place up. ok still not a very good solution. i dont know im just megga angry and like ok some of the people that i am angry with no longer are alive but there are still plenty that are really getting me wound up that well i really, really do not feel much like being pleasant to let alone acknowledging them, but i have to. and its making me so angry, seriously. thankfully i cant talk still, but im sure it must show in other ways which is so counter productive.not to forget frustrating. i am just feeling so angry, god knows what im meant to do with it. well really i guess i will just do what i usually do when things get too much, also not productive. im sure thats got to be a realistic way that i can deal with my grumpy angry mood and well i just need to find it. preferably before i do something stupid and mess things up further. just need to get a grip ;)

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Guest GingerSnap

Sue: Is there anyway that you can get some physical exercise there? That can really help. When I am really angry, I walk. I swear one day I thought I would end up in China before I got it walked off. Walking is about all the exercise I can do anymore because when I do others, I hear snap, crackle, pop and it isn't because I am eating Rice Krispies either. You can always pound your pillow! Being angry isn't always about losing control but often about gaining control. I saw a satanic cult on TV and when they got angry at someone they made a voodoo doll and threw it in the fire, I thought, well, that isn't so bad. Then they were just done with it. It was actually on a show about God vs. Satan. I say walk it off and if you end up in the central US, pm me and I'll give you my address, we can have tea or something. Not to make light of this, I know what it is too be so angry you feel like you are going to blow up - how do you think I ended up on this forum last spring? I am convinced you are on your way out of the tunnel, I'll be looking for you. Cathy

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Hey Cathy,

Thanks hun, your humour is brill, kinda makes me smile a bit ~ thanks..

Not sure if they will allow me out for that long a walk, no harm in asking I guess :) I may also have to learn to swim, hmmm. Probably easier to just get a plane though eh ? :rolleyes:

Love the idea about the Vudoo Doll, that might be frowned upon in here, (just a little). but diffinately worth a try :)

Just kinda letting things get out hand at mo, oh I dont know what the heck Im hoping to achieve but my attitude really sucks,, like big time. Im so infuriated and mad and angry, dont know how to hide it let alone control it, this really isnt very productive and geez I really feel like Im gonna blow a fuse and the slightest thing.

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Guest GingerSnap

Sue: Yeah, the voodoo doll thing could be tricky. I just imagine my husband coming into the kitchen and seeing me standing over a burning doll that looked enough like him to make him wonder. Might make him think twice about his behavior!:rolleyes: I was really angry at him this weekend and he complained that I was not meeting his needs. He needs love and admiration. OK, I'm getting the fabric, yarn, needle and thread and let's see he is wearing a plaid shirt....off to the craft room and then the kitchen!:eek: No, really, I tried to do a Healing Workshop in the beginning to get rid of my anger and, well, you see that didn't really help. I did venture to "China" this morning on my walk and now am going to do some useful tasks, well, after the "little thing" I need to take care of in the kitchen!:) Sometimes we are entitled to be angry but don't let it consume you - yeah, easier said then done I know, I really, really know.

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Cathy,

Seriously you are really funny :rolleyes:

thankyou for cheering me up, :)

It really is a very good job that they dont allow matches or lighters in hospital, hey maybe thats why, too many P'ed off angry moody patients with there Voodoo dolls that they made in Occupation Therapy, setting fire to them. Geez I'd never be allowed out of here, that is very tempting though, I wonder if iit really works (mmm) :)

So how was "China" ? is there tea really all that its cracked up to be ?

All joking aside, though, (you really are funny), i really do need to find an outlet for this anger Im experiencing, Its starting to get me into trouble here, and well as you know anything I do at the moment s/services have access to and it really must not look good for my chances of getting my children back, hmmm, or for me getting out of here. my anger is just on the boiil the whole time lately and really it is wrong coz I dont like it, and well im not being a very nice person, even though I dont mean to be.

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Guest GingerSnap

Sue: What about writing in a journal to express your feelings, sort of get them out? If you can do that, I think it would help. Or painting? What do you paint when you paint? I know some people meditate but I don't sit still that long or stay focused that long at a time. I am looking at my dog asleep by the door, she is being picked on by Cali-Cat the stray cat and thinking that she really does have it made although I decided the next time I come back, it will be as a squirrel as they appear to have nothing but fun, well, except the one I saw in the road today, little accident.:rolleyes: If you decide to write in a journal have a safe place to keep it unless you want to share it as my husband found out the hard way.....but he really was able to express his feelings in writing better than words, I guess that is what he was doing. Honestly I really can see humor around me. I had a good friend that I worked with years ago and she said we worked so well together because no matter how bad things got, we always found something to laugh about. I love to watch comedies, the old kind not the ones that make fun of people and find that funny - some are so cruel and not funny at all anymore. So, maybe write in a journal?:) I was thinking that you could maybe break the anger down into small pieces and deal with one at a time? And, of course, you can always express it on the forum openly, by blogging or pm. You must get the anger out in a constructive way because as you say social services.....Cathy

Edited by GingerSnap
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I am pretty angry at the mo, trying really hard to not let it show. But its kinda obvious.

I dont keep a journal coz well, far too many nosey people for my liking, safer to just blog it out, which I do on here. Geez have you seen the state of my blogs recently. like :eek: but that does help like loads. And it kinda stops me from making too much of a fool of myself on here :)

Painting, mmm I like painting, havnt had to the concentration for it recently though, it takes me ages. I paint lots of different things really depending on the frame of mind I am in. I think my fav is painting my memories of good times with my babies. Although seriously considering painting a Voodoo Doll on fire. That thought just well amuses me really.

The thing is I have to at least try and be constructive with my anger, I want to ask the p/doc about some form of anger management before I really flip out, but Im scared coz all my treatment and my medical history gets passed onto s/services and that could really be held against me at my next court case. :) ohh, I woonder if i can do a search on google, mmm gonna try that :rolleyes:

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well success (yay) :)

my lazy brain cell decided to wake up for a while and like, actually did something productive :rolleyes:

I can get anger management on line, (yay) and better still no one has to know about it. Brain cell has gone back to sleep again, but I guess thats ok coz like it is 3am(ish)

One less thing to sort out :)

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Hi Sue,

Can you tell us more about how anger management online works? I have not heard of that before? I like the idea of keeping a journal and keeping all the angry thoughts and feelings in it, but than again , if thei is a concern that it could be seen by others or their is a trust issues that could be broken , it might not be a good idea to keep one in the hospital.

cathy

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