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Stress relief.


amberlyn
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I have a tendency to not know where to put these, partly because I have so much to talk about in one post.

Well, I finally talked to my boyfriend about all of the things going on with me. I was so scared to talk to him about it because I figured that he would think I'm crazy & leave - then again, I do have irrational fears of abandonment. But he didn't. He just listened, was glad that I opened up to him, and helped me prioritize. I've been really stressed because of my lack of money & needing to go to the doctor... oh, and we're moving this week. But he helped me see that as long as I just focus right now on packing & finding a job, everything else will fall into place. As long as I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else, then I can wait to get a job so I can pay for the doctor appointments. He told me that those should be my own two things I'm thinking about for now ... and if I start feeling stressed about anything else, to go talk to him. He's amazing .. and I don't know what I would do without him! :(

Things are rough right now, but my stress levels went down like twelve notches after our conversation last night about all of it. I just don't know how I'm supposed to stop smoking now without becoming a lunatic... ;)

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im glad to hear you worked things out with your guy...as for quitting smoking you just gotta find the right reasons, and a good one to start with is that its bad for your health, and can cause cancer, that reason alone may not stop you but if you look within your self you'll find the strength and will to quit.

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Thanks all. :P I know that his support will definitely be the key to me getting all of the help that I need. I've always tried to be so open & honest with him... it was just hard because of my fear that he would leave me. He's so caring though, I think that I'm truly starting to believe that maybe, just MAYBE, he won't ever leave me. Not for something that's out of our control anyway (like mental health). I've always had such a fear of abandonment & never feeling good enough that I thought everyone would also see how useless I am and leave me ... that I wasn't worth the trouble, etc. I've never truly thought that anyone trusted and loved me 100%. I'm learning, though, that I might have been wrong all of these years...

By the way, I'm working on quitting now because my boyfriend is wanting to quit. He's into MMA (mixed martial arts) and smoking is NOT helping his breathing. And we both know that we can't successfully quit without the other; we've tried before. It's much easier when someone else is supporting you, and you're not having to deal with being around a smoker while trying to quit. I've never really been ready any of the previous times that I've tried ... I was always doing it for someone or something else. But after realizing that he's trying to take care of himself & doesn't want to lose me to smoking (whether it's lung cancer, COPD, or whatever) ... I just kinda started wanting to. He and I are really starting our lives together & I want our lives together to be long! :)

And I'm not quitting cold turkey. I've learned I can't do that ... especially with all the stress I'm under right now. But I am down to less than half a pack a day! :)

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Amberlyn,

I am pleased that you learned that you can trust your boyfriend, open up to him and know that he will not run away from you.

I am a big supporter of quitting smoking. Many people are helped by using the nicotene gum or the nicotene patch.

Are you taking any anti depressant medication or in psychotherapy. I get the impression that you are not because money is short but is there some way you could get additional help for yourself?

Allan:)

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Hi Amberlyn,

I am so glad that you and your boyfriend have such a open communication, and you trust him .

i understand how difficult it is to quit smoking. You are so right that it is more difficult to stop when your around your friends that do. My brother and I tend to smoke more when we are around each other too.

Glad your feeling better about things in your life. :)

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Allan,

No, I'm not doing any of that right now. I have to get some money for dr appts. I'm just hoping that I get a job soon so I can get back on my meds (I've been prescribed Wellbutrin and Seroquel; they work wonders for me). I'm trying to just focus on the move and finding a job ... but it's getting harder because the stress & overwhelmed feeling is making me depressed, and unmotivated. :/ I'm just trying to keep talking to people (blog, talk to you guys, talk to my boyfriend, etc) so I don't let it fester inside. That's the only option I can really see as of right now.

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mscat,

Thanks :) I love hearing supportive words from you; it seems like we have a lot in common with things that we're dealing with and whatnot. It's starting to get hard again (I posted a blog called 'Venting' that would probably explain more) but I'm making it through each day. Well, now I'm having to take it about an hour at a time... but I'm making it :)

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