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Hypospadias


Sasquatch
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Hi Sasquatch, Welcome to the forum :-)

I've been reading the threads and learning about how men live this situation. I never know what to say, there is nothing to say, just like someone in a wheelchair or someone who is blind, there is nothing to say, it's just the way it is... I'm sorry it affects your life so much and that it has given you such heartache ...

Edited by Symora
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Hello again, Sasquatch. I'm so sorry that you've experienced such pain in your life with this. The experiences in your childhood with doctors must have been very frightening and confusing. I am also very sorry that you were treated insensitively by a woman. :) No one deserves to be treated this way.

Do you have any type of support system or anyone else who can offer you an ear? You can have a voice here. There are people here who will listen. I'm sorry you are hurting.

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Hi Sasquatch,

Same shit, different story. Im 45, stupidly small, impotent, born with an undescended testicle, and now waiting for a circumcission op. I have depression because of my penis. My penis is the reason my entire life has been miserable, every time I see it, touch it, I get a deep feeling of self hate, I hate my penis, my life, people, the world in general. The only way to live is to accept my penis for what it is and try to build a life worth living at the age of 45, unemployd, uneducated, and wise to the fact I am only going to kid myself life is going to be worth living in the future. But that is my goal.

I can remember going to the hospital as a kid, then having the doctor examine me every year or six months or so. Knowing that something was wrong but not understanding. I then had the op to push the testicle down, at which point it got around the school that Id had my nuts removed. Bullying ensued. blah blah blah same shit different story.

Im sorry for your story, at least you have had the sense not to breed. It is the same decission I made many years ago. I think it is criminally stupid for people with disabillities defined by genetic markers to breed. It is child abuse in its most selfish form.

Welcome to the boards, you are obvoiusly educated and can write well, although why anyone in their right mind would move to Birmingham, is beyond rational reasoning:rolleyes: I hope you can hang around and write more, before some Brummie steals your computer:D

The only cure for people like us is to "learn to love ourselves, and to ignore other peoples reactions". To live a life in a fantasy. But as the bard also wrote

"I think, therefore I am" (just googled this, apparently this quote is attributed to a Frog, so obviously bollocks. I have a small penis AND im stupid. Life just gets better and better!)

Edited by nearlydead
Div trying to be clever:
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I too will never breed. I probably won't be given the chance anyway. I don't like children anyway so it is no big loss. I believe that realistically, our lives will never be happy or good. We can just make them better than they are. As a result of my depression related to this, I have made my life worse than being small already made it. I think many of us in this situation have hit rock bottom psychologically so that even though life may never be great, any change we make will be better than some of the places we have been. Working on the anger is the tough part for me. I also find myself to be misanthropic towards strangers etc.

This about sums it up. At the moment I feel exactly the same. I know I have to make changes to my menta condition to move forward. But deep down I know that I am never going to get over the shame of having this thing. I know I cannot be the person I wanted to be.

The best I am going to acheive is to move from "umemployd recluse with a small penis, to employed socail butterfly with a small penis" either way I live with a small penis, and all my new freinds will eventually know it too.

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I never liked children, even when I was one! My mysanthropy has grown and grown over the years, my mysogeny more so. I think its a coping strategy to protect myself from the grief and pain of never having a family. If I dislike children and women, even actively avoid them, the pain will not go away just not be made worse.

I decided not to breed because the thought of passing on this condition to another would be cruel. But I do wish I could of had a woman long term. I could of done, but the way I feel about my size is what prevented that. My fault, because I could not control my feelings. Im supposed to change my thoughts and get new feelings. Its al bullshit.

I've noticed on this board, everyone afflicted has dealt with it the same way. By avoiding normal life, and shutting down to the idea of a normal life.

How do people paralised from the neck down con themselves they can be happy? because its that kind of con I need to work out how to pull on myself.

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I to have problems with displaced anger. It is not as bad as it was several months ago, as I have been on a hefty dosage of medications. I still have alot of problems with hurt and sadness that I don't think any medications will ever help with except to make me so doped up that I care about nothing. I still think about suicide every day as I fight through tears. I finally went back to work last week after being out for 6 months. At least at work my has to spend time being focused on other things than my pathetic life, however hard that may be sometimes.

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The best I am going to acheive is to move from "umemployd recluse with a small penis, to employed socail butterfly with a small penis" either way I live with a small penis, and all my new freinds will eventually know it too.

I wish it didn't have to matter so much, ND. You're "big" in so many other ways and in ways that matter to some so much more.

Vinwalt, it's good to see you check in here. I'm glad to hear that you went back to work. Maybe in time it will help you to feel better.

Edited by IrmaJean
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It has never been an option for me. I don't know what comes next or if anything comes next so for that reason, I choose to live. At this point in my life, it would still harm others emotionally if I committed suicide. It is a comforting thought though, Death is something we all have to look foward to at least.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hello Nealydead,

Actually, I disagree with you and your opinion that you are a coward. In my opinion, it takes much more courage to live than to commit suicide.

Allan:)

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Hello Nealydead,

Actually, I disagree with you and your opinion that you are a coward. In my opinion, it takes much more courage to live than to commit suicide.

Allan:)

Your right of course, its just living with this, and having allowed my life to get to this state makes me think wrongly. Both take options take courage, but only one has honour (thanks Rec).

Abhrmeric WTF! Could some of the board members refrain from using such long words. As some members aint got a scooby what's goin on:D

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