Female needs advice for marridge sake

[Sweetmom2]

For a few weeks now i have a painful bt small problem and i dnt know how to fix it cuz it sux!

My hub and i used to have sex everyday. I gave natural birth twice with cuts during birth.

Im 30yrs and i tied my ovarian tubes. As i said for a few weeks now its sore during and after sex on the outside. I tried vaseline bt it doesnt help. My husb still loves me bt this is torturing us!

I bath in detol regularly so im clean. I t also itshes alot. I cant see anything like cuts i do notice its red and sensitive. HELP!

[Sweetmom2]

Should i go to a ginecologist or is it nt serious and me just behind?

[IrmaJean]

Hello, Sweetmom. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm no doctor, but red and itchy could be a yeast infection. I would recommend visiting the gynecologist. I hope the doctor's visit reassures you that this is nothing serious and is very easily treatable.

[David O]

Hi Sweetmom,

What you describe could be any number of conditions, such as thrush, excessive dryness, or as others have said, a yeast infection. It could also be due to too much friction during intercourse, which the vaseline is not as effective with as a good quality vaginal lubricant. I would strongly suggest getting and always using waterbased lube. I would educate myself by reading up on vaginal redness and itching, and then go to a gynecologist or your PCP.

Also, prior to intercourse, your partner should be sure their hands are washed and very clean, the same thing goes for you. And it doesn't hurt to wash up afterwards.

Also, keep in mind that some meications, such as:

Lo/Ovral

• Ortho-Cyclen

• Depo Provera

• Halcion

• Xanax

• Ativan

• Calcium channel blockers

• Beta-blockers

• Prescribed and over-the-counter cold and allergy medications

can cause dryness, which can make your vagina itchy and red if there is friction applied.

Well....... I can't believe I just answered this question:eek:-- hopefully another male will redeem me now.

Good luck and I hope this helps,

David

[Luna-]

Hi Sweetmom

I'd like to Echo what IrmaJean said - it does sound like a yeast infection or something of that sort.

You could try:

1. See a doctor and let him/her take a look at it. A gynae is great, but GPs are also able to recognise and treat this.

2. As far as I know, you can buy treatment for a simple yeast (Candida) infection over the counter in a pharmacy (ie without a prescription.) It's usually a cream or I think you may be able to get pessaries too. (I mention this, not to keep you from a doc, but if you’re squeamish about seeing one and would put it off and not get treatment because of that, then at least try this.)

3. Try to cut down on your sugar intake until it dies down. Candida thrives on sugar (which is why diabetics are more prone to yeast infections). Cooldrinks and fruit juice also contain a lot of sugar.

4. Concerning Dettol baths - I'd ease off on those. Dettol, even diluted, is irritating to the skin if you have any infection (same as Savlon, also an antiseptic). TV adverts are cashing in on the growing fear of "GERMS" these days (probably worsened by HIV and TB) and are pushing anti-bacterial soaps as if there is no tomorrow (have you seen Brian Habana and Protex,Yvonne Chaka Chaka and Lifebuoy?). The problem is that this promotes the development of germs that are resistant to these antiseptics, causing a greater problem. It also strips your skin of its natural protective oils and lowers your general immunity to many plentiful germs most of us can fight off. Also, good bacteria help to fight yeast/fungal infections so you don’t want to strip them off along with the bad. Any soap will clean skin adequately. The odd Dettol bath here and there won’t harm, but hold off until the infection is gone.

5. Also: don’t use any bath products (foam, oil) until it is gone, use as little soap as possible (gentle, hypoallergenic baby soap is good) and only wear cotton panties, not nylon or any other artificial fibres. Eating yoghurt helps replace good bacteria, you can even (sorry about the image) apply plain yoghurt, that is without sugar, to the area. Also, always try and wee after sex, it helps to flush off germs.

Sorry if you knew all this before. Sorry if this is TMI, gents, but these infections just make you feel SO MISERABLE and because it’s embarrassing, many of these things aren’t talked about. But they relate to sexual health, which, let’s face it, relates to mental health.

[Luna-]

Smiling at David: oh my, you are educated, Sir! Impressive! All those tips are great, Sweetmom. (Waterbased lube is called "KY Jelly" here, which you can buy at any pharmacy.)

I'd redeem you if I could, David...

[David O]

Well, I was gonna drone on and on about this but then quickly realized that maybe I was getting a bit too deep for anyone's tastes and that this issue might best be answered by someone more qualified and experienced in these matters.

Aaaand there we go again, hijacking someone else's thread. My apologies Sweetmom, and I do hope that Luna's excellent suggestions are of help.

Sheepishly,

David

[Sweetmom2]

Thanx to all the advice. I will folow it and see if it helps. My husb is upset and it took alot of talk for him to get over the idea of me buying it from a local pharmacy, i had to assure him that they didnt know us, and the idea of lubrication. Do you think its because ive turned 30 or that i gave birth to 2 kids that im picking this problem up now?

[JustTrying]

could be age coming on.... or just MayBE you are not interested any more.... or tired of what your husband does.... as for myself I am 40 and am not interested in sex.... not with a man or a machine.... just done.... Time changes things.... use to be sex was real important.. made me feel loved.... but I don't need it anymore..... perhaps you are headed that way.... good luck... JT

[Luna-]

Sweetmom2-

Go to a pharmacy you never usually go to - like out of the area where you live, and tell your husband that. The chances they'll know you there is negligible. The pharmacist is bound by confidentiality (and in case wouldn't bat an eyelid over KY jelly, it's used for lots of things), but the staff at the till are not. I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone, and I get your husband's concern, especially if he thinks it will somehow reflect on him.

And about being 30, 2 kids - I doubt it, but it could be, it could be so many things. Just try each remedy out. Oh - and make sure your husband is cleaning properly too. It's not all about the woman.

You'd be amazed at how common this issue is...

[DahliMOMMA]

For a few weeks now i have a painful bt small problem and i dnt know how to fix it cuz it sux!

My hub and i used to have sex everyday. I gave natural birth twice with cuts during birth.

Im 30yrs and i tied my ovarian tubes. As i said for a few weeks now its sore during and after sex on the outside. I tried vaseline bt it doesnt help. My husb still loves me bt this is torturing us!

I bath in detol regularly so im clean. I t also itshes alot. I cant see anything like cuts i do notice its red and sensitive. HELP!

Hi, Sweetmom...

One question for you, how long ago did you give birth?? (I am new to boards so forgive me if this is on another thread elsewhere.)

**If you had cuts or tears that extended up into the perineum (which it kind of sounds like from your post) this damaged area take a longer time,for it to completely heal up and the scar tissue can be quite tender & can be so up to a year later.**

I'm not sure what 'detol' is, but in addition to what previous poster have listed it is possible to be washing out too much of the natural balancing flora, and this allows itchier bacteria to take over. (yup, I see Luna talked about this...you definitely don't want to be having frequent baths with strong soaps down there. ) Sometimes 'over cleaning' makes it worse. Also,TUCKS (or witch hazel) pads are good for gentle self cleaning or to leave on an soothe irritated outer areas.

My advise would be to see doc about double checking whether this is infection or irritation...they would also be able to tell you if the painful sex is due to scar tissue healing after tears/cuts during birth. Also, doc can advise on product and frequency of use with cleaning the affected area.

And definitely, I would switch out Vasoline for a water based lube as a gooey petroleum based product it can actually kind of hold bacteria or whatnot up in there. Get a good lube and maybe try to explore some fun ways of enjoying more kissing, foreplay, etc. and try sex again when you are feeling better down there...don't push it. Also if there is an infection of some type going on, you can share it with him and also he can keep reinfecting you with or without him having symptoms.

Good luck, see doc and let us know how it goes!!