me

[JustTrying]

I am no good .... thinking of slitting my wrists..... Let the dogs die... done... Gabs

[Luna-]

Oh, JT...

Is this a post-manic crash? Coming on for a while or sudden? It's so lousy and it tends to feel worse because of the contrast between the high of mania and the low. Do you need to let someone know - therapist, pdoc, friend...?

Thinking of you, oh my, I can relate.

[DahliMOMMA]

JT,

I'm pretty new here so we haven't really met on the boards yet. People here care about you and you know the dogs need ya (and when you're in the dark place it's hard to believe it sometimes). Feeling this way is a 'normal' part of being BP. If you are up to it, reach out and share your feelings with someone.

[IrmaJean]

JT, I hope you have some support where you are and someone who can hear you. It sounds as though you're being very hard on yourself. Did you put in a call to your therapist?

I hope that today feels brighter for you.

[musemuse]

Hi Justtrying,

Do call your therapist. and think about your dogs. I was just thinking the other day about my dog that I miss so much. He needed me. He loved me. Sometimes we need to be needed to feel good about ourselves. Well your dogs need you and want you. What would happen if you weren't there to care for them? They wouldn't get the attention that only you can give them.

so if it helps, for now, think about your buddies...your dogs.

Hope you get some relief soon. AhHa, which can come from not thinking about whatever you are thinking about now and switching thoughts to your animals.

do take care

[JustTrying]

I am ok..... didn't do anything ... no Cutting no pills etc.... really have been working on the impulse control..... I am sorry if I worry people when I get that way..... I get that way sometimes.... I quit hurting myself about 1 yr ago.... but the WANTING to do it arises some times..... One day I may do it... don't know what set that off the other day other than I spent some time with a "friend" and he would not keep his hands off of me and I didn't tell him to.... Just hated him touching me.... made me feel like that little girl that was 12 again and being molested.... BUT I am not a little girl any more.... I am a 40 yr old woman....I cuss people all the time.... why can I not tell this "friend " to not touch me like that??????

I am married.... grant you, not the greatest marriage but still married.... why can't I just tell this "friend" to Fuck himself??? I am soooo scared of noone liking me??????

But just wanted to touch base..... don't know what to do.. don't want to get back on the meds and I really don't have the "poor" Me's tooo much lately.... but they scare me.... but like I said I have learned to just pretend I do things and sooner or later I will go to sleep and wake up in a better frame of mind....

Just my take on it.,.... can anyone relate???

JT

[malign]

We just worry about you, Gabs, that's all.

I can't give you much useful advice, except that I'dve kneed the guy in the nuts by now. Of course, he wouldn't be pawing me, I'm a guy. :-)

I just hope you can find a way to actually enjoy your life, rather than having to just pretend that the bad times will go away.