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Strong personality problems, it scares me a lot


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My mother was also 42 when she had me, and a year and a quarter older when she had my brother. Neither of us show any major signs of genetic abnormalities, except he's always been bigger than me, and that's just not fair. :-)

I'm sorry that you had a rough childhood, 'fading'. But none of it is shocking, at least so far. I can tell it hurts, to wish that you looked different or that life could be different.

I've had moments in my life, too, where I wished I might die. What I always wonder, when someone suicidal says "maybe it's just supposed to be this way", is, why are we so ready to change one thing, from life into death, but we just accept all sorts of other things without even imagining how we might change them. Why is the concept of dying easier to imagine than the concept of changing your life?

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Hi there, welcome to the board and glad to see you here. Believe me, you are not alone and you will not be judged here. I totally appreciate you wanting to keep some things private and worried about giving away too much, I feel the same. The internet is a vast place but sometimes the world seems a small one!

I'm no expert on any subjects but I see a lot of similarities in your post to things I have posted about. Many things I have said are about my appearance and feeling very ugly and wrong. I also don't have a very good relationship with my father. And in all the times I have posted I have received a lot of help and support here. So please don't worry about being judged or dismissed. You're in the right place.

I also just feel I am weird and confused.

But I do know that your life, just like everyone elses, is valuable. And you've have made the first important step to change the "what ifs" by speaking out.

Keep talking to us and I hope it helps :D

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I'd like to say also, Welcome Fade

There are things about my parents that I did not like, while being raised. Few, if any, had the perfect childhood. There is nothing that shock me about what you are saying. In my years on this earth, I've experienced and also seen a lot. Few, if any, look the way that they want to.

We all are here expressing something, so there is no judgement seen in that. There is nothing new under the sun.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I think i can with the whole not being in the right body feeling. i tried t o fix mine through diet and exercise but that was a big mistake and it turned into a bad eating disorder. now i stare into the mirror with no recognition of who is there. i see someone that is suposed to be me. i guess it might be a form of depression to some extent because if i exercise to an extreme level i hit a high and it's like my mind and body morph and finnally become one. it last for a couple of hours and then fades but it's how i get through day to day life. i suggest doing something that will make you feel like you've acheived something. for me it might be going to a really tall building and running up the stairs until the top. i guess its finding something that makes you proud of your body. learn to play an instrument. you need to apreaciate it so that you can respect it enough to acknoweldge its presence. best of luck - maddy

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