my 8 yr old needs ur help!!

[confusedmama]

I'm not sure if you're implying I need male contact or she needs male contact. And what exactly are you saying is manifested in raiven? She has a male social worker she spends time with, and her therapist is a male. Its not as if she gets no contact from anyone other than me.....

[mscat]

Hi there,

I have a autistic son with cognitive delays , I have raised him on my own as well, for nearly 17 years.

I feel for you very much. This is not an easy task .... I hope the medications and therapy will help your daughter,and make things easier for you . It feels like it is never ending when raising special needs child.

I'd like to suggest to you that perhaps a support group of parents with mental illness or special needs could help you , that way your not feeling so alone and stuff.

Often times I feel alone struggling with my son. My son was on SSI for yrs, until I was awarded SSDI myself , then he gets money off my record now. I think she will be able to recieve SSI , because she meets the criteria , and financial help will come in handy. When she gets SSI it will include medical insurance , so you can pay for her meds a lot easier . I want to let you know that you are not alone , as a parent , and single . It is hard enough raising a child who is typical by yourself , let alone a child with special needs. My heart goes out to you .

[hell2breakfast]

I'm not sure if you're implying I need male contact or she needs male contact. And what exactly are you saying is manifested in raiven? She has a male social worker she spends time with, and her therapist is a male. Its not as if she gets no contact from anyone other than me.....

I apologize if I am seeing too much of my own situation in Raiven, but I have been burned by too many "counselors" that didn't know as much as I do and drugs that did no good at all.

I was raised with too little female contact too much male contact. My mother divorced my dad when I was a year old. She worked most of the time so I was basically raised by my three older brothers. I can't remember getting a hug or kiss from my mother or ever SEEING her embrace anyone (check out Harry Harlow's "wire mother" experiments)

Children who are raised without the benefit of LOVING parents (mom and dad) suffer developmental problems that can last a lifetime. The hell of it is they (we) get married and pass this handicap on to the next generation in an amplified form, and no amount of pills or high priced shrinks can do anything about the real problem ie. Divorce, or the death of marriage as a stabilizing influence on society.

So yes. I would say we ALL need male contact...but we need female contact too in order to balence. since you have four females in your family and no males your kids will probably not develop

normally all things being equal.

While it sounds as if your child has a PHYSICAL (brain) abnormality the fact that she suffered a divorce at the most critical stage of development doesn't help matters at all.

Simply put, the modern emphasis on drugs and "chemical imbalances" is IMO easier than addressing the issue of the breakdown of marriage (which inevitably leads to child abuse and neglect in one form or the other)

I am sorry if this upsets you but you need to be told the truth, (and only a friend will dare to tell you)..."Radical Honesty" by Brad Blanton PhD

Being a male with no children I can not imagine the hardship you must be facing trying to raise 3 girls without the help and support of a loving husband. You are probably so harried your running around like a "chicken with its head cut off" And with the economy going to hell in a handbasket its not going to get any easier...and shame on your parents for not coming to your graduation.

That said, please take all of this with a grain of salt because the way I was raised makes it difficult to keep from projecting my own problems onto everyone else. In spite of my pessimism, I do want the best for you and Raiven

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Confusedmomma,

I have been playing catch up on this thread, but, I agree that you should apply for SSI for you daughter and find out what other benefits she may be entitled to.

In addition to the medications she is taking, is she in psychotherapy with a child psychologist? Remember, the medicine alone will not do it.

Allan:)

[confusedmama]

Thank you for responding! Yes she is in therapy once a week and she sees her psychologist weekly for now as well. She seems to be doing better. I had the phone interview with social security today. He didn't seem reassuring. He said with an axis v gaf of 45 she is still functional and probably won't qualify. I have another post in the new members section asking what all that means. Thank you again!

[Luna-]

Hmmm, I think you should ask her doctor and psychologist about this. They are sometimes familiar with what kinds of things and what levels qualify, as they have to fill in the reports and forms. Worth a shot!

[Lindamomof7]

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[confusedmama]

Linda,

Thank you! It does seem to be a never ending battle. Drs and counseling and medication management. Sometimes I want 2 scream. But, I look at her and when she laughs and smiles all the bad things go away and it seems like nothing in life can bring her down. Her laughter erases all hard times and reminds me that no matter how hard things get she is worth every minute.