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The type of therapy I need


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Hi everyone,

I have been to many CBT therapists in the past to help me deal with GAD. Although I feel as though I've been able to work through a lot of layers with them, I feel as though what I need from a therapist is very hard to find. In therapy, I am usually very goal-orientated and tend to make every attempt to show that I have things under control and am progressing, even if I feel I am not. I grew up as an only child to a mother with mental illness (though loving but over-protective) and a permissive father (whom left when I was 7). From a very young age, I learned to control what I showed my mom because I was always afraid I would make her anxious, worried or depressed.

Is it too much to ask from a therapist to push my comfort zone? This seems to me like an almost taboo request. I feel as though I actually need someone to break me down...to make me cry...and that would finally help me break through and let go of some of what I am hold onto. I've proven to myself that I'm not going to do that myself, unless in private.

Any input, suggestions, questions or observations are much appreciated!

Recycle

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Hello, Recycle! :D

That's great that you have this wish in you - I see it like a wish to "change your life, not only find some ways to somehow cope with some situations".

Did you speak about this with your therapist? What was his/her reaction?

I'm in psychodynamic/psychoanalytical therapy because anxiety and suicidal intentnions (which have been here 13 years, but are gone now!) since september and I can only recommend it! (It depends on the therapist and how you "fit" together, of course, but... I hope it's possible to find the right for you! :))

Is it too much to ask from a therapist to push my comfort zone? This seems to me like an almost taboo request.

Certainly not! I don't have experiences with CBT, so I'm not very sure about this, but... in general, there are not such "taboos" in therapy and if there are some and you "try to break one", your therapist would probably explain it to you in a kind way (that "this is not a good idea")...

I can tell you that in the psychodynamic approach, it seem to me that such "pushing patient's comfort zone" is even required and... I don't think CBT could be so much different in this regard...

It seems to me that you can deal with your GAD much better now (at least I hope so), but you still feel a need to... not only to some extend overcome the anxieties, but to understand them better, to find the clue to make them disappear forever...

My suggestion is: Ask your current therapist about this and if you don't like the reaction or if he doesn't help you by his approach, try the psychodynamic therapy.

What do you think?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Recycle,

Are you sure you have been in CBT therapy? I ask because it does not "sound like that."

Anyay, I agree with Luna about psychodynamic therapy. My sense is that it might be more helpful to you. What do you think?

Allan:confused:

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It's a big honor to me that you have mistaken me for Luna!!! (I like her posts a lot!) Please, don't correct this so nice mistake! ;)If she doesn't mind, of course!

Ad therapy: What Recycle describes sounds to me as behavioral, not cognitive-behavioral therapy ;)

L.

Edited by LaLa3
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*laughing*

Oh, Lala, you are so dear.;) Thank you.

I was thinking the other day how far you have come since you first came here. It has really been noticeable and so nice to see. ;) Therapy is truly amazing, isn't it?

And Recycle: I am also one who needed the deeper therapy, to understand and unearth and build up again, and yes, my boundaries were pushed, slowly, gently but onward. CBT is good, it's useful and effective, but - you do sound like me and Lala, you need more. Psychodynamic is great and you should probably make this your first question when looking for a therapist, or ask for a referral to someone who does this.

I haven't found a taboo against this, but I haven't ever seen a purely CBT therapist, those I saw did it as part of the rest of what they did.

Good luck.

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Thank you; I'm glad it's nice to see. ;) Be sure it's even much nicer to feel ("within myself")! ;) I wish I can be one of the examples here that bring some hope to others (that change is possible)...

And, Luna, I'm pleased to see your new signature! The one before was sad, thus now it seems you feel better and that's great! :)

Edited by LaLa3
I extended the text
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Thank you, everyone, for your responses! I am not currently in therapy, but am considering going back. The main reason I stopped was because I didn't feel I could take things any farther with the person I was seeing, thus leading to this post ;)

I will for sure be considering psychodynamic therapy for my next go at things....

Thank you again!

Recycle

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  • 2 months later...

Hi there, Recycle,

Just a note about what you said, although it's been a while since you posted this:

Hi everyone,

Is it too much to ask from a therapist to push my comfort zone? This seems to me like an almost taboo request. I feel as though I actually need someone to break me down...to make me cry...and that would finally help me break through and let go of some of what I am hold onto. I've proven to myself that I'm not going to do that myself, unless in private.

I specifically asked my therapist to do this, and he does it very well. I tend to only "brush the surface" of issues, and avoid going into detail. Once I agreed to be "pushed" so to speak, he doesn't let me get away with that. When I appear to be avoiding something, he'll say "I know what you're doing...." and he'll keep me on topic. I want to tell you though, a therapist will not push you to cry...they won't purposely make you upset. All they will do is push you to explore parts of you you may not be talking about and should. My therapist frequently stops during the session to ask me if I'm ok and whether or not I want him to stop.

Best of luck to you in your therapy. Take care,

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Hi:)

This is an interesting topic and makes me think a bit about myself:P I think I also tend to put on a cheery face with people I don't know very well and not let them know what's really going on with me. Which is ok in a way (like at work, everyone thinks I am a cheerful, friendly person, and they would be shocked if they knew how I was really feeling...), but I think it makes people not take me seriously when I try to tell them what's going on with me... Even with my doctor and the therapist I went to a couple of times:( I tell myself beforehand that I'm gonna be totally honest with them, but I get in there and find myself acting like I'm ok... when I really just want to cry out for help:( Maybe if I go back I should ask her to push me more, too. Tell her not to beleive what she sees on the surfaceXD lol

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