SPS (post restricted to New Member area)

[Niemand]

I have had anxiety regarding my penis size for most of my adult life. I have read again and again that men with Small Penis Syndrome usually underestimate their size because of visual perspective and so on. In my case, though, it's not just appearance. My actual erect measurement is 4" even when my measurement technique maximizes length as much as possible (without being an outright fabrication). My flaccid measurement is about the same size as a newborn's.

Using a locker room is torture.

According to Kinsey Institute statistics, I am at the extreme low end of the scale (.3% [that is, POINT three percent] of men are my size).

My wife tells me that my size is fine, and that it's the same size as her former husband's and boyfriends. I know that she isn't telling the truth about the other men's sizes, based on statistical probability alone. Therefore, I find it difficult to believe her other assurances. She's unable to achieve orgasm during intercourse without "assistance," and that's been the case with all my other lovers.

At least one of my former girlfriends (that I know of) made fun of my size during a 'girls night out'.

To add injury to insult, so to speak, I seem to be shrinking with age. My flaccid size looks like I've been swimming in the Arctic. I use Viagra or Cialis, but even then the results are disappointing.

I don't know if my outlook will ever improve. Most of the advice I see is to "get over it". If only it were that simple....

[Luna-]

Hi Niemand, welcome to the forum.

You should be able to post anywhere now, (you may have to log out and log back in again.) If you can't, start a thread saying so and we'll check it again. I'll move your thread to SPS, since it sounds as if you wanted to post there.

FWIW - there are many, MANY women who can't climax from penetration alone. It's nothing to do with size or anything on the man's side, it's just how they are built. It's a myth that penetration is the "proper" way to climax, and it makes a lot of women feel inadequate about themselves. What tangled webs we weave...

Anyway, welcome here.

[curtailed]

I have personally come to these conclusions:

1) My penis shapes the way I feel about myself:

--- it might shape bad things, but it also gives us possibilities to feel things guys with big dicks don't ever realize about themself

2) My penis is something that causes discomfort to myself:

--- the penis itself might cause discomfort, but that doesn't mean that you're a sexually unattractive male. you can be more attractive and more sexually active than most males, by using your intellect, fingers and tongue alone...

3) My penis is small and I feel bad about it:

--- yeah, this happens to the best of us... usually it's about self-respect and believing in your own sexual capabilities. you can't fool yourself into believe you can fuck a woman silly if your dick is 3 inches long, but that doesn't mean you can't make a woman orgasm 10 times in an hour and have them scream your name otherwise...

4) You're not making sense.

--- fuck you and yes I am.

[Calla]

Thats the best thing I have ever heard on this subject curtailed.

[IrmaJean]

Hello, Niemand, and welcome to the boards. I'm sorry you've been struggling with painful feelings around this.

I have some nerve damage and so am unable to achieve orgasm any longer, but...even when I could...I can say it never happened from penetration alone. I don't think this is unusual at all and has nothing to do with the size of your penis.

It sounds as though your wife appreciates you as you are. Why do you think you are unable to appreciate yourself?

[Recluse]

it sucks you are in this position as well. I lack girth and am on the lower end of that spectrum and it has fucked my life as well. You seem to have gotten a wife so I guess that is something positive as I have never even been able to have a girlfriend as a result of my situation. Maybe your wife is one of those women who does not require penetration to get off but instead would need oral or something.

[Calla]

I agree with IrmaJean, there are actually very few women who can orgasm through penetration alone.

[IrmaJean]

There are really so many deeper reasons why any woman may choose to be with a man. Niemand, I would imagine that your wife loves and accepts you as you are. This is a wonderful thing that I hope you are willing to embrace and allow.

[Niemand]

Thanks very much for the positive replies.

Regarding those who commented along the lines of "...your wife appreciates you as you are ... why are you unable to appreciate yourself?" -- you're right. It isn't that I don't appreciate my wife, I do. She's the by far the most supportive woman I have ever known, and I consider myself blessed to have found her; even more so that she'll have me.

The reasons that I have trouble accepting my, uh, limitations, aren't only because of my own compulsions, but also the actual ridicule I've experienced. Not so much from the guys, but from one former girlfriend (that I know of) in particular. She said one thing to my face, and the opposite to her friends. That really hurt, and makes it very difficult for me to trust anyone -- even the one that I truly believe loves me.

My wife is patient above and beyond the call; I hope I can work this out before her patience runs out. It's been with me a long time, though.

Regarding jelqing -- I've tried it, but it takes so much persistence that I haven't been able to keep it up.

(That's supposed to be a joke....)

[D Dub]

Hi Niemand, sorry to hear that you feel inadequate. I am glad to hear that you have an supportive wife. I myself have always dreamed of a woman accepting my micro penis. So love and enjoy her as much as you can. But I understand completely how it feels to be the subject of humiliation. My ex told everyone at our old work place how small I am. That was very difficult to deal with. My flaccid is also the same as when I was born. I struggle everyday I wake up. tried suicide a couple of times but was unsuccessful. If you ever need to talk our chat feel free to hit me up on the forum. There are two things that ease the pain alittle for me. The first is, thanks to this forum I know I'm not alone. The fact that I know I can jump on this site and let my depression out helps me. Second, I watched a documentary that was about how men feel about the dicks. In the documentary, the host finds out that acient Greece thought micro penises were beautiful art that was meant to get all the ladies! Men with big penises were usually associated with crime and evil. That makes me feel alittle better inside. Maybe that might help you also.