JaneE Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 (edited) One of my husband's favorite insults for me is that I "don't know who I am from day to day". He is right-er about this than he could ever guess!!! I remember when I was in high school I wrote in a journal/diary that I felt like "smoke in a wire cage". I didn't have the vocabulary but I was trying to express that I didn't know who I was. I didn't have any boundaries, I had no concrete sense of myself or who I was. This had the practical effect of my feeling always "in a fog" not knowing what I want or what to do about anything.I'm 43 and I feel I'm only just beginning to know myself... or to have acquired one or something. I have a rotating group of what I call my "Imaginary Selves". I mean I don't have that dissociative disorder where you get amnesia and are found living in another city under another name living another life... but I do have these different selves. They tend to be from different parts of the world. I could explain further but it may not be that interesting or even relevant.I do know that when I'm fully IN one of my "Imaginary Selves" I feel very good. I don't feel very good when I don't know which self I am. Right now I'm kind of in that place. Does anyone else have this kind of issue? I've heard that this kind of thing (identity flux) is a feature of Borderline PD, though I was diagnosed with Avoidant. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from any of you! I haven't been around much lately, and it's good to be back! Jane Edited July 3, 2010 by JaneE clarifications Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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