1st post on here

[a_mess]

Hi everyone, I posted a thread in the new members forum and was suprised by the support i received. Thank you to all. I know that i'm average in length 5 1/2 and maybe a bit above average in girth about 6...but from womens reactions through the years you would think i'm totally useless. Ok, i'll agree that they want alot more than a big dick....but in the end after i have done everything for them and tried to satisfy every other need for them, they still need more of a man to to completely satisfied. And then after they have more of a man they could care less about any of the rest and the person who would protect them in any way possible should the need arise is left alone...while the one who supposedly has what she needs does nothing but treat her like shit and she wonders why...the only answer to that is is because he knows you aren't goin anywhere...this is the reason i panic when i come across a women i'm attracted to or especially when i get hit on where its obvious she wants me...cause that is how it always plays out...i get left behind cause i can't fuck the shit out of her but he can...but that is the only thing he is capable of giving her and i've yet to come across a women that sees it that way and i doubt i ever will....so here i sit alone for the past 2 years just to avoid the pain of bein left alone because of something i can't change...that is the most depressing thing i've ever experienced...to the point of seriously contemplating suicide...but thank god for a close friend who said to me there is a girl out there for you and if you do that you will never met her and know what its like to be truely happy and she wont ever met a wonderful man who really knows how to treat a woman in every way. She also told me that during a quicky most of us cant make a women orgasm but if while making love to a women and making her orgasm anyway we can is not enough for her then ....I'll put it her colorfull way...then forget that shallow, waste of space, breathin our oxygen bitch...cause she was lucky to have found a man like you that takes his time to do it right and not just wham bam thank you mam cause that gets old after a while and a guy like you is what we really want in the long run its just that most women dont realize it until later in life...i'm 34 now, and i'm hoping i come across one who has figured it out soon cause i gotta tell ya after 2 years without a women i'm really in need of a womens soothing touch

[Anguished]

The tone of your post is easily recognizable: frustration, despair, hopelessness, etc.

Hey, you found the right place!

Seriously though, your measurements sound fine.

A 6-inch circumference? Hell, I'm gonna try to be sympathetic with you.....

Some people on these posts have given up, and that's really sad news. I don't want you to be one of those guys, and it really doesn't sound like you have a reason to be.

You seem to be fixated on the idea that if a woman has had a better lover than you, that it's just all over from there, and not worth trying anymore.

Is that the way you think about women? If you meet a girl that is slightly less pretty than your previous GF, is she just automatically excluded right there?

What if she has a 32C cup size when your last girl was a 34D? Do you lose interest in her immediately?

I'm cursed with the same self-doubt as you my friend, but you've got to realize that women need something more than penis size. In fact, that's what all of us here need to realize.

Don't let another 2 years pass you by a_mess. Get back in the game, I think you've got it in you to do it.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi A-mess and Anguished,

When I read the types of stories and experiences had by "a_mess," I can't help but wonder about the types of women that were involved. In general, people are not mean and hostile unless that's the type that a person tends to go with. Men and women have doubts about their sexuality and ability to please. So, what types of women have each of you been with?

Allan

[a_mess]

Well apparently women with only one thing thats important to them...a close friend can't believe how badly i've been treated through the years by women considering she believes i'm stuck right in the middle of average...she has told me that i must be one of the most unluckiest guys to have ended up with a whore everytime as she puts it...cause according to her from a womens point of view if the girls i end up with can't adjust themselves so to speak to be happy with my measurements then they have been a little to busy with every guy in town...all of this comes from all the girls from 15 to about 26...from then on most have come back for more but because of all the abuse i took from the others I can't believe that i'm gettin the job done as good as they would like it or used to from past boyfriends...am i my own worst enemy????...cause i'd rather know that i'm messin everything up cause a something thats not really a problem cause the thing that drags me down the most is the thought that i can't fix it so women are never gonna accept me for me

[IrmaJean]

My personal feelings are that sex is about so much more than performance. Ideally it's about sharing and love. If you were to meet a woman and this woman appreciated and loved you for the person that you are, she would also value and appreciate your body as it is. The beauty and honor of sharing is in the revelation and unfolding of a loved one and not in judgment. When you love someone, you recognize them. Recognizing someone means knowing them. In the knowing and understanding of another there is a place where deep and meaningful connections can be made.

You mention "getting the job done". If she truly loves you and you love her, being together intimately wouldn't be a "job", it would be an expression of mutual affection. These are my personal views and feelings, but there are lots of women out there... There must be some who would value meaningful relationships and would cherish intimate acts with a man such as yourself.

What gifts do you have to offer, a_mess? I'm sure you must have a lot to offer. You deserve to be happy and loved, but you have to keep trying. I hope that you will.

[Anguished]

Allan, let me try to provide some clarification on this point.

It isn't that all women are cruel, we are aware of that, but during adolescence when people are first exploring sex, we were judged as less than adequate during those years.

This has created a certain paranoia for us. It isn't that we are attracted to, or that we seek out women that will treat us poorly, it's that we dread the devastation of what can happen if the woman we just met is anything like the girls we knew from childhood.

We aren't searching for pain Allan; we've just encountered it before and are trying to avoid it now.

You might consider the possibility that the average human being may not be as nice and understanding as you are comfortable with thinking......

(Also, please take into account that the dating landscape is much different today than just 10-15 years ago, and that not all of this is in our heads. I get the impression sometimes that people on these threads are flabergasted by the idea that women out there judge men in this way. It happens.)

And yes, I am more than willing to acknowledge the absolute certainty that there aren't as many heinous, horrible women out there as I imagine when I'm feeling low....

Your point is taken though. Results clearly depend on the quality of the people we choose to share ourselves with. We understand that, and it is good advice to use selective care when finding a partner.

I did take offense to one thing you said Allan. Now, if I have misconstrued your meaning, please correct me, but I don’t think that I have. You need to understand that none of us here desire bad treatment, but that is what you implied in your post. You said the following:

In general, people are not mean and hostile unless that's the type that a person tends to go with.

Am I interpreting this correctly? It sounds like you are implying that if I get involved with a woman that turns out to be mean and hostile, that really means that I hang around with and select partners specifically out of the group of women that treat men badly.

I mean seriously, when you analyze it, what else does that statement mean? I'm curious to know if you would say the same thing if a woman had complaints and phobias regarding abusive men. Would you?

If this were a battered women’s message board, I am certain that you would not blame the victim of the abuse with a statement like:

In general, people are not mean and hostile unless that's the type that a person tends to go with.

I'm not trying to be confrontational with you Allan, but it appears that you are under the impression that guys like us have problems with women because we were going out of our way to find women that would treat us with cruelty.

I know that you are passionate about this work and that you do it to help people. In the interest of helping guys like me, you need to understand that we aren’t asking to be treated badly.

[Fedup]

6 Inches is a huge girth. I've read articles where if you are above 5.18 girth they are advising you how to fit your penis into vagina comfortably. Definitely don't have anything to worry about on that score.

[a_mess]

Fedup and skynight...I know both of you are probably wondering why I feel the way i do....I have only been with one women where i had to be careful unless she was really wet....all the rest and i mean all the rest were like throwin a hotdog down a hallway...i mean 4 fingers wide they were...like i said in previous post i'm really startin to believe i've come across every size queen possible....it is so frustrating to...since i've been on this forum i have come to realize that some of you might be pissed or resent me in some way because of my girth and wonder why in the hell i'm even here...i'm here cause the same things that have happened to you by women have also happened to me...that have left me completely stripped of my self worth and self esteem...and it truely has effected every aspect of my life...I wish all this never happened to me...but it did and that is why i'm here

[a_mess]

I could be wrong about all that...i hope i am at least

[Fedup]

Nah I know you have suffered. I am 5.2 length I think I can get to 5 1/2 if really turned on but 5.2 generally. I am 5 in girth and I also felt a bit guilty because I guess I am average in measurements but have really struggled and I still am struggling to accept it.

4 fingers wide Jesus. The woman I got with was in pain from 2 fingers and didn't like it as I've said on another thread. I think you have been unlucky.

One of my m8s is actually engaged to a girl now. I don't know his exact penis measurements but I think he is small or average and thinks he's small because he is permanently joking about his chipolata and how skinny it is (Usually when drunk). Anyway the girl he is with has been with a few of my friends before him and they're known players and have larger than average penis. She is sexually satisfied with him though and he's gone from not being very sexually active to being very sexually active. One of his exe's previously before that dumped him because he wasn't "giving out". I can only guess he had same issues as us. His ex had lately been trying to win him back.

Anyway the point of story is that the reason he can still be successful with girls is that he doesn't let it effect his confidence outside the bedroom and is very chatty. Ok it sounds like he may have had a problem in the bedroom at one time but I think that is well and truly cured now.

I really don't think women are as bothered as we think they are. Yes some will be. When groups of women get together I think a lot of they say is bravado just like when a group of guys get together and are like look at the boobs on that.

[Fedup]

I'm not pissed off.

I know you can increase your length with stretches and exercises. So if length is what's bothering you then why not give that a shot?

But 6 inches in girth is really big. Statistically speaking, it's as rare to have 6 inches girth as it is to have 8 inches length.

Have these women even said you're small? A babies head is designed to come out of a vagina, doesn't mean they enjoy something that thick.

How long did it take to increase size? I have tried before but not really for more than a few weeks. I usually read a horror story about how it can make me impotent and decide I want one that works rather than non at all. I don't think many people try it for long enough to know. I'm fine with my girth but just to get length to 6 inches would make me feel a lot better.

[Fedup]

Wow stretch for a hour every other day. I find it very boring to do. I guess it's how much you want it eh? Do you warm up at all? I have bought a heating pad to warm up for ten mins. Beforehand. When you say every other day do you mean 3-4 times a week or 2-3 times a week?

I guess I may be able to stick to it now I have proof it works. I was reading mixed reports on it working and thought I'm not boring myself senseless for nothing. Is the hour total length of exercising?

[malign]

What works for me may not work for you ...

I just wanted to interject that that may be true for the exercises, as well.

There's a reason for the mixed results you see reported, otherwise someone would be getting very rich, and there'd be a lot of huge penises around.

That doesn't seem to be the reality, though.

[Fedup]

I think I'll give the penis exercises a miss. I really don't want to spend over a hour each day on something that may or may not work. I could maybe handle half a hour a day.

I do lift weights myself but you can see the progression from month to month and you know it works as long as diet is good. I don't find it as boring because go with a gym partner and there's a bit of social interaction.

[Fedup]

It is very boring. The again, so is lifting weights. I stretch for about 40 minutes using various stretching techniques. Then I do half an hour jelqing. About 150 wet jelqs with a 3-5 seconds on each stroke.

I do these two days on and One day off (so about 4-5 days a week). I warm up in a bath, I have a hot steam bath for about 20 minutes, wash myself then do the stretches.

Many people have their own different routines much like bodybuilding. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa.

I have to ask why do you carry on if you find it as boring as I did? Surely 6.75-7 inches is long enough? Is it an addiction now to try and find how big you can get it?

[Recluse]

If you have a girth between 4.5 and 5.5 you are average. If your girth is 6 you are in the best situation possible with women. Girth is the most important measurement for sexual adequacy.

[a_mess]

Ya you might think so but tell that to all the women i've had to deal with...anyway i'm doin my absolute best to be positive about the next one that walks though my door...so i guess it's time to cross my fingers and hope she isn't like the rest