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ugggh


nathan

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things are bothering me again.

When i get like this, I usually do stupid things to try and kill it or runaway from it. The ego's of people really start to bother me, like I can't handle them becuase the amount of hate I have for the bs numbs me. I get anxious just watching two people interact on a scripted tv show. II swear my body is getting ready to pounce on someone. It;s actually worse watching tv then being with real people becuase there is nothing I can do to stop their ego's from running rampant, not to mention people are actually trying to play 'characters,' and thus start acting like a bunch of retards regardless.

I think its getting worse, tv never used to bother me like this.

I figured out why and when friend lies, and he does alot. Thats bothering me. I think i'm jeluous of him becuase he gets so many girls. They just feed off his dumbass fake ego and they love it. That's really getting to me when im in a state like this.

I've been back home for a few months, and my mom is so taken over by her bs, I havnt had one straight converstaion with her the whole time. She is a slave to her emotions. My dads a slave to his 'logic,' I really wish there was a better word for that. Anyway, it's like dealing with two retards on opposite sides of the retard spectrum.

Its watching ppl's ego's go off that sparks my anxiety. and I'm really anxious right now. Whenever I just try to enjoy myself, i seem to get hit by somones bs. Last time I was like this I got six cops to beat the shit out of me. For some reason I enjoy the harboring the memory of one of the cops punching me in the face and my none reaction to it.

cant sleep, anxiety gets in the way.

what else, I could go on forever with these ego and anxiety things, but anyway, its really bothering me. Ill just drink myself stupid, it actually works.

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what do u spend time contemplating? srry if thats a wierd question.

Just about everything. :)

Thinking about things is just about one of my favorite things to do. I also enjoy spending a lot of time in nature as I find the sights and sounds to be very soothing. Occasionally, my thoughts take me in the direction of new inventions. I have pondered, for example, that each time a person takes a step on a sidewalk, energy goes into the sidewalk. So I think it would be neat if someone (not necessarily me -- in fact, certainly not me!) were to invent a sidewalk that could capture that energy and then, use it to power cities.

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That's a great idea.

what do u spend time contemplating? srry if thats a wierd question.

Just about everything. :)

Thinking about things is just about one of my favorite things to do. I also enjoy spending a lot of time in nature as I find the sights and sounds to be very soothing. Occasionally, my thoughts take me in the direction of new inventions. I have pondered, for example, that each time a person takes a step on a sidewalk, energy goes into the sidewalk. So I think it would be neat if someone (not necessarily me -- in fact, certainly not me!) were to invent a sidewalk that could capture that energy and then, use it to power cities.

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Sadly, it's a Perpetual Motion machine. :-)

The energy we deliver to the sidewalk is used to push us forward and to hold us up against gravity. In order to absorb that energy, the sidewalk would have to give, in some direction, which would slow us down.

It's possible that you could draw out a small enough amount of energy so that we wouldn't notice, and still have enough to be useful. Still, there are losses in wiring, and the difficulty of gathering and storing the energy to make it useful. You don't want the city to go dark just because there don't happen to be any pedestrians, at the moment. It's a fairly fundamental notion, that you can't get something for nothing.

Another example is a yo-yo that a friend gave me once, that lights up from the rotational energy. It works, only it's a truly crappy yo-yo. It won't "sleep", or even come back up normally, because the mechanism is draining too much energy.

The concept of entropy says that there will always be some energy wasted in an unusable way.

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malign: In order to absorb that energy, the sidewalk would have to give, in some direction, which would slow us down.

Yes, I imagine so. I'm not sure what sort of material the sidewalk might need to be made out of but perhaps it would be something like this...

Researchers at Princeton University have created a flexible material that harvests record amounts of energy when stressed. The researchers say the material could be incorporated into the soles of shoes to power portable electronics, or even placed on a heart patient's lungs to recharge a pacemaker as he breathes.

The energy-harvesting rubber sandwiches ribbons of a piezoelectric material called PZT between pieces of silicone. When mechanically stressed, a piezoelectric material generates a voltage that can be used to produce electrical current; a current can also be converted back into mechanical movement.

Source: Technology Review

Meantime, I don't think I'm talking about a perpetual motion machine as much as I am talking about utilizing a source of energy that at this time, isn't being captured or utilized.

You don't want the city to go dark just because there don't happen to be any pedestrians, at the moment.

If such a possibility were to ever become a feasible reality, I imagine it would come with a battery pack.

Anyway, it's just an idea that no doubt, will go the way of jet packs for travelling to and from work. That doesn't mean it's not fun to think of such things.

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We should make the sidewalks out of .... Flubber!! :-)

Sorry, I didn't in any way mean that we shouldn't dream. Isn't that the entire problem, though: balancing dreams and reality to make life?

I still want one of those jetpacks; my commute is horrible. ;-)

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Not to worry malign. I'll probably still entertain a notion if I still find it entertaining.

Meantime, nathan, I hope that maybe you've found some different things to think about too. It's a big world out there and there's a whole lot more going on than what's on the television. Maybe, rather than be frustrated by that you could turn your attention to the things that strike you as more important or worthy of investing your time in.

~ Namaste

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