Why is there no suicide subforum?

[harp]

Suicidal thoughts are a huge problem for a lot of people, and there's nowhere else that really fits the category of talking about suicide.

[LogDork]

I think the consensus here is against it, I would gather...

[Mark]

community rules have been set up so that graphic talk about self-harm (whether suicidal or not) is against the rules. Graphic talk gets people upset. The community is also simply not set up to be able to handle suicidal members; acutely suicidal members that is. It ends up that one person has a crisis and the rest of the people here who care about that person feel about as helpless as they could and that is bad for them to feel - very stressful.

If we were to have a subforum for suicidal talk it would need to be a basic ground rule that no graphic talk about methods can take place, and no acute intention to actually suicide can be discussed. It would be okay to talk about vague feelings of wishing you were dead that are not connected to a suicide plan. That perhaps waters down what you are asking for.

I'm not sure what the moderators would think of such a forum. certainly, the burden of policing it would fall on them so they would get a large portion of the vote to create such a resource.

Mark

[malign]

Hi oak,

And welcome back! I hope things are a little better for you, lately.

However, I have to guess from your question that they may not be. So I'll try to answer it with questions, like my therapist taught me. ;-)

Is the urge for suicide an urgent one? Then, obviously, the first place you should think about going is the emergency room. The police will take you there, if you ask one (that's how I got to a hospital, the one time I went), or you can drive yourself, or ask someone to take you.

If that's not possible, would you consider using the Urgent Need forum? I'd think that suicidal thoughts qualify. There might be very few more urgent needs, in fact. You just have to keep in mind that we can't guarantee that someone will even be available to answer you. We're really just a support forum.

Are you depressed? At the next lower level of urgency, the Depression forum often has posts of people who feel suicidal and depressed. I'm sure there are people who read that forum who could relate to the feelings you're having.

One of the things that our site requires, however, is to avoid talking too graphically about certain subjects, one of them being suicide. Those who are at risk can be triggered by graphic or approving posts, and such posts are discouraged and would be removed.

And yes, in general, as LogDork said, most of us here aren't in favor of suicide. Besides the loss of your potential as a person and the pain you would cause to your loved ones, it tends to reduce site readership. :-)

Bad joke, possibly, but I've been suicidal, at one point in my life, and lived through it. I've come to believe that death is deadly serious, but life is here to be enjoyed.

So I guess it comes back to: Here we are; what can we help you with?

[windsybarbie]

Hi:

Since I retrieved repressed memories in July, it has NOT been easy, and I have thought about it, but who would win, my abuser. I finally know it is my grandma's neighbor when I was 7 and I dissociated everything. I have NO contact with my family, unless they want something, which happened twice this week. Otherwise no contact in over 3 wks when I tried to tell them,that I finally remembered. Why am I abandoned/neglected when I need support the most (especially my family who always scape goated me).

Since that fatal day in July, I don't make complete thoughts and it is hard to follow my posts b/c I have no focus, I just ramble on . I have a tendeny to repeat the same thing, and I don't realize it. I put water on stove, and boil pot dry, I don't want to sleep at night, putting car in neutral instead of drive, when driving. Threw away $50 I got for my Bday in June thinking it was a napkin, and today lost my auto card in the car...searched for 2 hrs....

Today I went out in the world, after 4 days and got a flat tire etc....I managed thru the day and treated my inner family to Wendy's. I was out of the apartment for 5 hrs and it was good not to be hyperfocused on the computer. I had intentions of going to the country to just enjoy a foot long hotdog and different scenery.

How do people communicate to others that when you are switching or having an activation you need someone there to listen. I have hit & miss when I call crisis lines, This week I finally realized it is okay to say "This is not helpful" and hang up and try again & get a different person. You see, I don't think of S or harming myself if I am able to cry & let out my feelings with a real person on the end. Sometimes I can go on for 6 days w/o calling, but now b/c of my dissociation I need them more. I just need a release of emotion, how else do people handle the pent up emotions....

Tomorrow I plan on going to the country and see if it is good for my mental health. I will bring a snack and things to read...My tires were at 20 lbs insteadof 30 lbs recommended, so now I have a safe car and no accident. Maybe I would get better contact with my family,, if I do have a threatening illness or an auto accident. My two brothersare widows at 52 and I am 51 w/o no relationship and a past physch history. All b/c of we thinking of blanking it out to survive. I always say WHY, no use, but YES I want to see my special ed young adults and have a great school year. So, there is hope, but I wish people would listen when you are really in danger.

Maybe after tomorrow when I work with exile, (child) things will be more positive and normal and will be in my cente more.

[Luna-]

I'd like to refer anyone who would like a suicide forum to post in, to depressionforums.com where such a forum exists.

[windsybarbie]

:)Hi Luna:

Depressionforums.com does NOT exist but depressionforums.org does.

Thanks for the link Have a great day everyone

[Luna-]

Ah. Thank you for that!

[Lindamomof7]

psych central is another forum and I believe it has a suicide, DID, BPD and much more...

[LogDork]

hmm. well, I suppose for some of us it (suicidal thoughts) would have to be called "the dead horse in the livingroom" to try to talk around...

There are other places to have those discussions, but I dont know if having them here would work. I'd say it's an admin/moderator decision, if they want to do such a sub-forum.

[harp]

:)Hi Luna:

Depressionforums.com does NOT exist but depressionforums.org does.

Thanks for the link Have a great day everyone

i went on that forum and i didn't see any suicide subforum

[malign]

Can I ask you, oak, why an Urgent Need or a Depression forum isn't going to work?

[harp]

Can I ask you, oak, why an Urgent Need or a Depression forum isn't going to work?

I'm not saying that, I'm just saying on that site I see no suicide subforum

[Lindamomof7]

I think you mean why is there no suicide forum when there is a "self harm" forum.

Psych central doesnt have one either and they have alot more forums to choose from but not a "suicidal ideations" forum

I understand your dilema when I was feeling really bad and feeling those "SI's" not self injury but "SI" for suicide ideations there was no specific place.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hello Harp,

The forum on self harm embraces suicide. In addition, the forums on depression, personality issues, etc, can handle suicide as an issue. People for a long time, here, have talked about their feelings of suicide and why they feel tempted. What we do not allow is a discussion of methods or anything graphic. We do not want to trigger anyone who feels vulnerable.

Allan

[LogDork]

Hello Harp,

The forum on self harm embraces suicide. In addition, the forums on depression, personality issues, etc, can handle suicide as an issue. People for a long time, here, have talked about their feelings of suicide and why they feel tempted. What we do not allow is a discussion of methods or anything graphic. We do not want to trigger anyone who feels vulnerable.

Allan

I think a number of people, including me, would disagree that thoughts of ending ones life, isn't necessarily along the same line as self harm ;ie cutting, etc.

[Luna-]

i went on that forum and i didn't see any suicide subforum

Sorry, harp, I only just saw this post now.

It's possible they took it down (?) I remember posting a fair amount in that sub-forum while I was there - it was a very bad time for me. The rules were the same as here - no posting of intent, no methods or description talk and trigger warnings to be put on posts. Did you register; perhaps it's only viewable by members?

[Luna-]

I went and checked. It's still there - 'Suicidal Ideation Forum' - but you have to register as a member to see it.

You can post your thoughts and feelings. I found it very helpful when I was suicidal. Very pro-life and there are 'pinned' topics that give you 'Reasons to live' and that sort of thing, when you have forgotten what the point is and need reminding. I found it good to talk about it without others reacting with shock and when you feel like you are the only person in the world at 3am. Very comforting.

It does require quite a lot of people to monitor and respond so that posters aren't just left hanging for a long time but I guess they can do it there as they have a much larger membership. They also have a forum equivalent to our Urgent Need called MNESN (Members Needing Extra Support Now.) I also used to hang out and respond in both - just have to watch for burnout. "I know how you feel" goes a long way when you're in that space.

It sounds like I am advertising for them! I'm not, but I know how it is, when you just wish you could do it, and really need to talk about it, without worrying about people being triggered or upsetting others. Especially when the thoughts go on and on and on.

[harp]

I went and checked. It's still there - 'Suicidal Ideation Forum' - but you have to register as a member to see it.

I registered as a member there and I can't see it.

[jago45]

Hello Harp,

The forum on self harm embraces suicide. In addition, the forums on depression, personality issues, etc, can handle suicide as an issue. People for a long time, here, have talked about their feelings of suicide and why they feel tempted. What we do not allow is a discussion of methods or anything graphic. We do not want to trigger anyone who feels vulnerable.

Allan

Can we discuss issues related to suicidal ideation? One of my main gripes is that if you seek help for depression, which usually does include some thoughts of suicide, you can be involuntarily committed to a psych ward for up to 2-3 weeks and made to pay for it yourself. It takes that long to get a hearing before a judge.

If you don't have insurance, that's enough of a worry to increase the chance of suicide.

[Luna-]

jago45:

It's fine to talk about it. Read the FAQ so you can get an idea of what is ok and what isn't, then put a trigger warning on a new thread and post.

[malign]

I've talked about suicide here, myself. At one point, I was spending a lot of time fantasizing about it. I'm happy to say, that urge went away, though not all at once.

The only thing we really ask is not to get too graphic, like describing methods or how great you think it will be. Pretty much anything that's meant to help you avoid it is fine.

As LogDork pointed out somewhere else, the site's basic position on suicide is that we're against it. :-)

But not against writing about it, if the goal is to keep you from it.

[Luna-]

harp:

Log in, then scroll down the forums past the suicide hotlines down to MNESN (Members Needing Extra Support Now) Below that is the suicide ideation forum.

Or use this link (after you have logged in):

There's a list of rules for the sub-forum and below that are the posts.

[jago45]

It seems to me that discussions about suicide would be appropriate for the depression forums. From what I've seen, you have to be extremely cautious about who you tell you have "suicidal ideation." Discuss it with your doctor, of course, but if you tell anyone in these local mental health clinics or a hospital, you can be involuntarily committed for several weeks before you get a hearing before a judge. It's happened to a couple of acquaintances of mine. And they will charge you for the hospital stay (which can run to 20 or 30 thousand dollars. On top of that, your name is entered into a national database. Your medical records are private, but if you apply for certain jobs or a gun permit, you have to give permission to have your medical records checked. There is still an enormous amount of discrimination against those who have been treated for a mental illness.

I've talked about suicide here, myself. At one point, I was spending a lot of time fantasizing about it. I'm happy to say, that urge went away, though not all at once.

The only thing we really ask is not to get too graphic, like describing methods or how great you think it will be. Pretty much anything that's meant to help you avoid it is fine.

As LogDork pointed out somewhere else, the site's basic position on suicide is that we're against it. :-)

But not against writing about it, if the goal is to keep you from it.

[spiritual_emergency]

jago45: they will charge you for the hospital stay (which can run to 20 or 30 thousand dollars...

Yes, because there's nothing like an enormous debt hanging over someone's head to give them a reason to go on living.

Gads. There have to be better ways. I promote self-help as much as possible but I recognize it's not going to be feasible in all times and places for all people. It can be frustrating.