huge tit syndrome part two

[restroom]

This is an extension of the "huge tit syndrome" thread that I post previously.

I cannot stress how much my tits steal from my life. I have no friends, any social life, or life generally so to speak because of them. I want them to be smaller so badly. I've never talked to anyone about my problem, because I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of it. I hate society - and majority of people because of their opinion on them. I am ashamed to admit this, but when I was younger, I secretly feared that, if I did not have big tits no man would want to have a sex with me unless it was rape. I cannot begin to fanthom, how brainwashed I must've been by society to actually believe that there was a good possibility that this could be true. It's pathetic and pitiful enough that I can't piss standing up, but I have to be imprisoned in a body with huge tits now, too? Hell no. I can't bear this. I'm currently trying to lose weight in order to make them shrink by healthy dieting but it appears to not be working, it might follow with methods I'm not allowed to say on here. This is a vicious cycle, I have tons of cravings for sweets and fattening food to relieve my stress, but at the same time I'm trying to lose weight so every time that I give in to my cravings, I feel incredibly guilty afterwords. I think the enormous sums of stress, my obsession forces me to endure is why I cannot make them shrink. I am almost certain I do not now how to free myself from this stress, thus I can finally force them to be pressed. Just so you know, the only reason I am interested in freeing myself from my stress, is because that I am almost confident, if I am completely free from this, I can finally make them shrink, and nothing other than that. The extent that my psychological state damages my body, must be much more extreme than I realize.

[IrmaJean]

It's pathetic and pitiful enough that I can't piss standing up, but I have to be imprisoned in a body with huge tits now, too?

I am struck by this statement, restroom. Can you think of any reason why you might have negative feelings in being a woman? This would be something to discuss with a therapist.

You seem to be giving your breasts a lot of power in your life. Can you think of any way to lessen the power the size of your breasts seem to have over the choices you make?

Have you considered consulting with a therapist?

I am going to move this thread to General Support so you can continue with discussing your feelings and concerns.

[restroom]

I am struck by this statement, restroom. Can you think of any reason why you might have negative feelings in being a woman? This would be something to discuss with a therapist.

Women are weaker, women have to bleed every month. Many people believe that women don't deserve to have all the freedoms and liberties men have (they shouldn't go out at night, shouldn't dress a certain way etc etc) because they could be raped whereas they don't think any of these things about men.

You seem to be giving your breasts a lot of power in your life. Can you think of any way to lessen the power the size of your breasts seem to have over the choices you make?

that's not my choice to make it's my body's

Have you considered consulting with a therapist?

I am going to move this thread to General Support so you can continue with discussing your feelings and concerns.

I tried to switch therapists and someone has told me that there are very few that I can consult with for free.

[IrmaJean]

Women are weaker, women have to bleed every month. Many people believe that women don't deserve to have all the freedoms and liberties men have (they shouldn't go out at night, shouldn't dress a certain way etc etc) because they could be raped whereas they don't think any of these things about men.

Weak (aside from actual physical weakness) is one of those words that is very difficult to define in a general sense. It may well be in the eye of the beholder. In this sense what matters is what "weak" means to you or how and why you perceive the female gender this way. Another might deem women as stronger because the monthly cycle means she has the ability to carry life in her womb. Do you feel held back in your life due to your gender?

Are there some aspects about being a woman that you recognize in yourself and have good feelings about?

My mother had breast cancer and had to have one of her breasts completely removed. As a woman with one breast, she remained exactly the same person. She was the same loving, giving woman as always. She was still my mother.

Your body doesn't make your soul. If you can't change your body, then perhaps you can change the way you feel about your body.

It's true that going to therapy can be expensive. I hope that you find someone to talk about this. Take care.

[restroom]

Weak (aside from actual physical weakness) is one of those words that is very difficult to define in a general sense. It may well be in the eye of the beholder. In this sense what matters is what "weak" means to you or how and why you perceive the female gender this way. Another might deem women as stronger because the monthly cycle means she has the ability to carry life in her womb. Do you feel held back in your life due to your gender?

Are there some aspects about being a woman that you recognize in yourself and have good feelings about?

My mother had breast cancer and had to have one of her breasts completely removed. As a woman with one breast, she remained exactly the same person. She was the same loving, giving woman as always. She was still my mother.

Your body doesn't make your soul. If you can't change your body, then perhaps you can change the way you feel about your body.

It's true that going to therapy can be expensive. I hope that you find someone to talk about this. Take care.

I'm losing motivation to write on this site (or anywhere in general) about this because barely anyone's responding to it. I started writing on this site hoping to feel relieved that people were replying to a problem which is in my head 24/7 that I'm way to embarrassed and ashamed to talk to anyone in real life about but instead just became more aggravated because barely anyone is responding to it.

[malign]

Is it possible that lots of people responding to your problem might also make it seem even worse, to you? We wouldn't want to make it worse, you know.

As for a response ... well, I'm a man, and thus have no experience of what it would be like to live with breasts of any size. But I guess it's still a point of view.

For one thing, I can tell you that the ability to pee standing up hasn't really been enough to solve all my problems. <end sarcasm> In fact, I've been informed that it actually makes my aim worse ...

It does seem like you've received some information about the difference between men and women that isn't entirely factual. You're apparently aware of the SPS forum, so you can see that guys have body-image problems, too. For instance, you wrote:

Many people believe that women don't deserve to have all the freedoms and liberties men have (they shouldn't go out at night, shouldn't dress a certain way etc etc) because they could be raped whereas they don't think any of these things about men.

It's interesting that you say that people believe women don't deserve freedoms because they could be raped. Isn't it more that they are trying to protect women, that women have the rights, but just maybe also need caution? One of the immediate questions I had was, who are these "many people"?

The subject of rape comes up in your writing a lot: besides the question above, there was one where you worried that you would not have sex except by rape, unless you grew breasts. Is rape something you think, or worry, about a lot?

I think the real question that you should consider is, what kind of help are you hoping for? We can't do surgery, and we can't talk you out of surgery if your mind is set on it. What we might be able to do is support you in finding some other way to go, but you're the only one who can actually travel your road.

[restroom]

Is it possible that lots of people responding to your problem might also make it seem even worse, to you? We wouldn't want to make it worse, you know.

The only thing bad about that would be that I'd be scared someone I knew in real life would read this and find out who I am.

It does seem like you've received some information about the difference between men and women that isn't entirely factual. You're apparently aware of the SPS forum, so you can see that guys have body-image problems, too. For instance, you wrote:

It's interesting that you say that people believe women don't deserve freedoms because they could be raped. Isn't it more that they are trying to protect women, that women have the rights, but just maybe also need caution? One of the immediate questions I had was, who are these "many people"?

People who've told me women/I shouldn't go out alone at night, women/I shouldn't live free of the fear of being raped (they didn't word it exactly like that, but that was what they were saying). Even if they do have rights and liberties, they still have less than men if they're expected to live in fear of being raped and men don't.

The subject of rape comes up in your writing a lot: besides the question above, there was one where you worried that you would not have sex except by rape, unless you grew breasts. Is rape something you think, or worry, about a lot?

I think the real question that you should consider is, what kind of help are you hoping for? We can't do surgery, and we can't talk you out of surgery if your mind is set on it. What we might be able to do is support you in finding some other way to go, but you're the only one who can actually travel your road.

I think about rape a lot, but not that much of it is worrying about it, just on how common it is, how rape in society has damaged my life, etc. I told someone else and they tried to put me on medication to stop my obsession, but really, it's not coming from me, it's coming from other people's and societies view on the subject. I just need people I can release these troubling thoughts to because I'm thinking about it 24/7 and it's there embedded into my mind but no way in hell can I tell anyone in real life about it because I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of it.

[malign]

Are the people who've told you that women/you "shouldn't" live without the fear of rape related to you in any way? Is it even possible that the people might be rape survivors themselves?

I'm a little lost, though: someone tried to put you on medication for obsession? It sounds as if you don't feel like that would be useful? I can tell you that I'm not obsessed with your breast size, if that's of any use to you.

You know, even when no one knows how to respond, there are still lots of people who have read what you've written. So, you're still able to release your troubling thoughts, here.

I do wonder, though: if this is just a question of men's vs. women's rights, what is embarrassing and shameful about it?

[restroom]

Are the people who've told you that women/you "shouldn't" live without the fear of rape related to you in any way? Is it even possible that the people might be rape survivors themselves?

Right now they aren't, but they were people who worked for me.

I'm a little lost, though: someone tried to put you on medication for obsession? It sounds as if you don't feel like that would be useful? I can tell you that I'm not obsessed with your breast size, if that's of any use to you.

Doesn't matter, because I don't know you, and you're not the whole of society.

You know, even when no one knows how to respond, there are still lots of people who have read what you've written. So, you're still able to release your troubling thoughts, here.

I do wonder, though: if this is just a question of men's vs. women's rights, what is embarrassing and shameful about it?

That doesn't matter because there's still no one to talk about it with. It has nothing to do with men's vs. women's rights, it goes a lot deeper than that.

[malign]

Well, here we are, talking. :-)

Could you re-read your answer to my first question, and help me out a little? I asked if the people were related to you, and you said "Right now they aren't, but they were people who worked for me." I don't understand that.

I was asking if this opinion had come from a relative, like a parent. Because personally, I wouldn't take my employees' opinions as a way to live my life ... Even if I had employees. This suggests that we've misunderstood each other, somewhere.

[restroom]

Well, here we are, talking. :-)

Could you re-read your answer to my first question, and help me out a little? I asked if the people were related to you, and you said "Right now they aren't, but they were people who worked for me." I don't understand that.

I was asking if this opinion had come from a relative, like a parent. Because personally, I wouldn't take my employees' opinions as a way to live my life ... Even if I had employees. This suggests that we've misunderstood each other, somewhere.

I thought you meant related as if they were people who were a big part of my life. It's not that someone told me it that bothers me so much, but the amount of people that told me I shouldn't live free of the fear of being raped (whilst this unwritten rule is almost never put on men). I don't have any relation to those people right now, but I seriously (and that's a monumental "seriously") doubt I won't get lectured about how I shouldn't go out alone at night/go into an isolated room with men/etc because I might get raped.

Anyways, what about the other things I said in my post?

[malign]

Well, other than that, you said that I don't matter because I'm not all of society {I don't mind; in a sense, it's true}, and that it goes deeper than men/women's rights.

I had assumed that if you wanted to talk about the "deeper", you would. But I don't mind asking you. In what ways does the problem go deeper?

[restroom]

I didn't describe "deeper" not only because I don't want to, but also because I never have, so I don't really know how.

[malign]

Well, you're perfectly entitled not to go into it, if you don't want to.

Only then, I don't understand why you asked me about the rest of what you said.

If you do want to go into more detail, only you don't know how, I don't mind trying to help with that, if I can. But you'd have to let me know clearly what you want.

[restroom]

Well, you're perfectly entitled not to go into it, if you don't want to.

Only then, I don't understand why you asked me about the rest of what you said.

If you do want to go into more detail, only you don't know how, I don't mind trying to help with that, if I can. But you'd have to let me know clearly what you want.

I have to get off soon for a while. The reason I'm not going into detail about why this bothers me so much is because I don't know how. I want to release my thoughts which have been locked up inside my head for so long and have put me under so much unbelievable amounts of stress and have stolen so much of my life so they're not trapped inside my head any longer, forcing me to carry a huge burden all the time.

[malign]

Well, it can wait until you're ready. :-)

I hope you find a way to do what you're trying to do, and that it helps you.

[restroom]

Well, it can wait until you're ready. :-)

I hope you find a way to do what you're trying to do, and that it helps you.

Until I'm ready for what? Explaining to someone?

[malign]

Until you come back, until you're ready to explain, until you find the words ...

I'm just saying that no one's pushing you, that's all.

[IrmaJean]

Until you are ready to release the thoughts and feelings that have been causing you pain.

[restroom]

Until you come back, until you're ready to explain, until you find the words ...

I'm just saying that no one's pushing you, that's all.

I did come back, that time I was gone was when I had to get off. I was hoping you could do something that would help me find the words to explain, because I sure as hell don't know how to.

[malign]

Well, first I'd have to have some idea what you're trying to explain ...

We could try questions?

How about, how long ago did these feelings start?

What is your life like, do you live alone, do you enjoy your job, what do you believe is the reason we're all alive ...

Anywhere is a good place to start.

[restroom]

I'm going to try to explain now...

I've been self-conscious about my tits since I was thirteen. I tried to starve myself for a while to make them shrink, but it didn't work I always ended up giving in and stuffing myself. I also tried to purge with laxatives, but it didn't work. I stopped wearing big baggy hoodies when I was fourteen but then they grew even bigger and I started to 24/7 again. I've realized by writing this just now is I don't want to tell you a lot of things about it that have made me feel the way I do because I'm so embarrassed of it. For over a year it has been all I can think about... I've had people tell me that there's no way to make them shrink other than breast reduction surgery, which I'm too young to get and I doubt I could without complications and the thought of that (that there's no way to make them shrink other than that) terrifies me. I constantly fantasize about what I'd be doing, what my life would be like if my tits weren't there.

[malign]

Well, okay, what would you be doing?

You realize, you still haven't told me anything else about your life. Are you in school? Do you have friends? Parents? Pets?

There have to be one or two things in your life that don't relate to your breasts at all. Maybe we could find one of them.

[restroom]

Well, okay, what would you be doing?

You realize, you still haven't told me anything else about your life. Are you in school? Do you have friends? Parents? Pets?

There have to be one or two things in your life that don't relate to your breasts at all. Maybe we could find one of them.

I don't have any friends. I have parents but I don't live with them and no pets.

[IrmaJean]

I constantly fantasize about what I'd be doing, what my life would be like if my tits weren't there.

Do you mean if your breasts were smaller or if they weren't there? Is this symbolic in any way for you? If you were to think deeper about this you might consider how you feel about breasts in general. Do you feel a woman's breasts are representative of femininity? You've mentioned aspects of being a woman that you don't like...but are there also aspects that you do like?