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Why can't I tell people that I'm hurting?


goose
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I like to put on a brave face about everything. I was in hospital recently and I jokingly told my brother that I was skiving. I had legitimate reason to be in hospital but I tell everyone that all is fine. One of my sons got so distraught that I was in hospital I decided that I could not afford to be ill, they all needed me too much.

I have realized how dependant my children and husband are on me. It is down to me to be the strong person in the family, sometimes I just want someone to tell me that everything will be ok.

Goose

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Goose, everything will be OK. If you need to hear this from someone close to you, just tell one of your family members to tell you that everything will be ok. :) If they ask, tell them you needed to hear the words.

You're not alone in not being able to tell people that you are hurting. I fall under that category as well. I have found that it's easier to write out your feelings than it is to say them aloud. In your case, you have done a great job reaching out. But, I want to add that you need to give your body whatever it needs for a full recovery. Don't push yourself too hard to leave the hospital as soon as possible because you may end up hurting yourself worse.

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I totally understand "putting on happy face" while I wallow in my little miserable world>< I go through it every day at work when someone sees me and asks how I am.. I say "I'm good:D" even though my life actually feels like it's falling apart around me and I'm barely keeping it together... Although actually recently I'm noticing my "I'm good:D"s turning into "I'm ok:)"s and people are starting to notice I'm not totally my normally cheery self... and so I find myself holing up in my office and isolating myself... I desperately want to talk to someone, to tell them what I'm going through, to get some reassurance that everything will be ok... but I feel like I don't want to burden them with my problems and even if I did, I don't have any idea of how to tell them.. My mom is the only one I really open up to, but at the same time I know she relies on me for her emotional support, so I just feel like I am the pillar of strength for my family and it really takes a toll... I guess somehow we need to find a way to reach out and let someone know we aren't a rock. Everyone needs some reassurance sometimes. We are human after all;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Maybe it's because you feel you have to be strong one that you can't tell them you are hurting. Telling them would make you feel as if maybe you aren't as strong. Well, has at least been the case for me. I've always put on fake smiles and tried my best not to show other how I truly felt and eventually it just takes it toll on you. It's okay to show it or talk to someone sometimes.

Everything will be ok.

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I have made a decision that I am going to be kind to myself. I am unwell medically at the moment - keep getting infections. My GP says I have the flu at the moment. So I am going to rest when I feel tired and not put such pressure on myself about getting back to work. I have about 2 weeks to wait to see what my medical problems are, hopefully the blood tests will show whats wrong.

I've had a serious dip in my mood in the last week or so - as I am off all my meds now it is very scary - however the medical problems may be the cause.

I really appreciate the people on this site for their continued support.

Take care

Goose

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