Just watching a show about penis envy

[Fedup]

I'm sorry I turned the thing on now. Stories of men being verbally abused by women because of their penis size and they're all like 0.8-2 inches longer than me. The answers seem pretty mixed again. The woman comedian saying even 5 inches is too small really .

Starting to wonder if I really am average as they are saying like 6 inches is average.

[lifeless existence]

Did you notice that the woman who made the "female perspective about a smaller penis" post in the new member section says her partner is about 5" and smaller than any other man she's been with? Rarely have I come across a comment from a woman describing a penis less than 6" in length as being anything other than "small". It's not hard to figure out why when looking at this size distribution chart from the British Medical Journal.

[IrmaJean]

If anyone was ever verbally abusing you for any reason, Fedup, this is not a person you'd want to be with. You deserve acceptance and respect.

[studentM]

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[lifeless existence]

StudentM, I didn't take what you said out of context, I simply repeated it. I doubt that anyone here was insulted by your post. It's clear that it wasn't meant to be negative. It's unfortunate that women like you are in the minority rather than the majority. The world would be a much better place for men like us.

[studentM]

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[Fedup]

Did you notice that the woman who made the "female perspective about a smaller penis" post in the new member section says her partner is about 5" and smaller than any other man she's been with? Rarely have I come across a comment from a woman describing a penis less than 6" in length as being anything other than "small". It's not hard to figure out why when looking at this size distribution chart from the British Medical Journal.

Yeah I did notice it. When people ask or I have to list the size on a site I always say average but maybe I am misleading the women by doing that and I am in fact small? Too many different studies out there to know what's right really.

[flander]

All you can really say for certainty is that is the distribution of the guys who participated in the study. One study had 50 guys from a NY med school, another had 600 guys at a Mexican resort during spring break, and others included volunteers from a prison. If my stat and psych classes are anything to go by, more test subjects would probably smooth out the irregularities in the BMJ graph.

[flander]

I was at a conference this week and someone had the bright idea of everyone getting on a bus to hit some bars downtown. Unfortunately, they were all really small and didn't have many people other than us geeks. That wasn't too bad I suppose, since even if there were more women there I probably wouldn't have talked to any of them. However, a downside to small bars is that they also have small restrooms where one basically has to stand shoulder to shoulder next to someone to use the urinals. I went in one and a sarcastic British jackass said something like "impressive hardware you got there mate, you could be a porn star". I didn't care because I was about to bust a gut trying not to piss my pants trying to get it out so I could hit the urinal. On second thought, I should have pissed on his shoes.

[malign]

I know that being seen at a urinal is a major concern for guys in this forum.

But to me, there's an easy answer to any guy who'd comment on what they see in there: "What the heck are you doing looking at my hardware?"

[lifeless existence]

If the "sarcastic British jackass" said something like that to me, he'd find out just how expensive two weeks in intensive care really is. You should have dropped him on the spot and then finished urinating on his face.

[Fedup]

He's simply insecure about his own size and it makes him feel better when he sees that yours is smaller. People like that have their own issues but attempt to make themselves feel better by putting down others.

[flander]

If the "sarcastic British jackass" said something like that to me, he'd find out just how expensive two weeks in intensive care really is. You should have dropped him on the spot and then finished urinating on his face.

True, but I wasn't really in the mood to get arrested in a strange city though.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Everyone,

I know that, in the U.S. it is now reguired that public bathrooms have a wall or some barrier between urinals to promote privacy. Many men are not comfortable at the old public urinals and for many different reasons.

This is why I always advised my male patients, when and if the issue came up in therapy, to go into the stalls, close the door and avoid the urinals.

Not of caution:

I certainly understand everyone's anger and the dumb idiot who made that comment. Howeve, violence never solved anything and can result in someone getting not just hurt but killed and with a huge prison sentence involved. Its not worth it. Fantasy is one thing, actual violence another.

Another caution:

There are lots of wierd people in this world and the fact that this guy made a comment probably has nothing to do with you. Who knows, perhaps he was flirting, homosexual style but in a sick way. All of us must not take these random events seriously or personally.

Allan

[performer-uk]

Hi Everyone,

I know that, in the U.S. it is now reguired that public bathrooms have a wall or some barrier between urinals to promote privacy. Many men are not comfortable at the old public urinals and for many different reasons.

This is why I always advised my male patients, when and if the issue came up in therapy, to go into the stalls, close the door and avoid the urinals.

Not of caution:

I certainly understand everyone's anger and the dumb idiot who made that comment. Howeve, violence never solved anything and can result in someone getting not just hurt but killed and with a huge prison sentence involved. Its not worth it. Fantasy is one thing, actual violence another.

Another caution:

There are lots of wierd people in this world and the fact that this guy made a comment probably has nothing to do with you. Who knows, perhaps he was flirting, homosexual style but in a sick way. All of us must not take these random events seriously or personally.

Allan

Its really odd prof Allan, I was thinking very similar things to what you wrote re: taking things seriously or personally.

I think maybe from performing etc you learn that people's comments etc are really about them and very little to do with you. People have laughed at me, ridiculed my abilities, made fun of my appearance - and at first you take it as rejection etc. but after a while you realise you arent really onstage for them, and whatever motivates them to do these things isn't really anything to do with you at all.

I still like to watch sports and can scream some quite nasty stuff at a team or an opponent, but really thats me at home getting excited and really has nothing to do with those people.

Similar in this instance - why would any man want to go saying something like that? It could even be a friendly jibe - like had he said that to my rugby friend who had the small penis it would have been a source of amusement and a way they become friends almost, I could seriously see him being bought a drink and then they hit on women together!

So yes, it seems like the guy was being hurtful and trying to cause pain, and maybe he was, but at the same time, its worth understanding the only power this kind of stuff has is the sort you give to it.

I cant explain it as well as Dr.Shwartz but thats my best attempt!

[malign]

... the only power this kind of stuff has is the sort you give to it.

I think you did a pretty good job of explaining it, performer.

[flander]

Hi Everyone,

I know that, in the U.S. it is now reguired that public bathrooms have a wall or some barrier between urinals to promote privacy. Many men are not comfortable at the old public urinals and for many different reasons.

This is why I always advised my male patients, when and if the issue came up in therapy, to go into the stalls, close the door and avoid the urinals.

Probably for new construction, but if it is supposed to cover existing installations, there are lots of them that aren't compliant.

[lifeless existence]

Howeve, violence never solved anything and can result in someone getting not just hurt but killed and with a huge prison sentence involved. Its not worth it.

That's your opinion and you're certainly entitled to it. However, to me it would be worth it. I completely understand what the consequences may be and I have to be willing to accept them, just as the "sarcastic British jackass" has to be willing to accept the consequences of making such a snide remark. Allowing people to get away with making such comments is basically giving them permission to continue to put you down and they will do so for as long as you allow them to. The first time someone says something like that to me, they will learn the hard way that I won't be spoken to in that manner. If there weren't so many pacifists in this world, people like the "sarcastic British jackass" would be inclined to keep such remarks to themselves and the world would be a better place for it.

[IrmaJean]

Ultimately, you can't control the behaviors and actions of others. You may knock one mean person down, but you can't "defeat" cruelty. You can, however, control the power that cruelty has over you.

[performer-uk]

That's your opinion and you're certainly entitled to it. However, to me it would be worth it. I completely understand what the consequences may be and I have to be willing to accept them, just as the "sarcastic British jackass" has to be willing to accept the consequences of making such a snide remark. Allowing people to get away with making such comments is basically giving them permission to continue to put you down and they will do so for as long as you allow them to. The first time someone says something like that to me, they will learn the hard way that I won't be spoken to in that manner. If there weren't so many pacifists in this world, people like the "sarcastic British jackass" would be inclined to keep such remarks to themselves and the world would be a better place for it.

Have you ever beaten someone up for saying things like that?

I understand the anger, but the real issue is the internal torture, not what someone decides to say.

If said British Jackass had happened to see the penis, and looked shocked, and said nothing and then later in the bar you see him laughing, would you suspect he was laughing at you and telling people?

Would you consider that a good reason for going over and beating him up?

If we were truly ok with oursevles, nothing anyone did can affect us.

Thats not pacifism, thats dealing with the real issue - as opposed to lashing out for a quick fix.

[lifeless existence]

Have you ever beaten someone up for saying things like that?

No one has ever said something like that to me. But if someone does, they're getting their ass kicked.

If said British Jackass had happened to see the penis, and looked shocked, and said nothing and then later in the bar you see him laughing, would you suspect he was laughing at you and telling people?

Would you consider that a good reason for going over and beating him up?

Nope. I wouldn't automatically assume that he was laughing at me. Nor would I go off on someone due to an assumption. Now, if he points and laughs and says "There's the little guy!" or something equivalent, then it's game on.

[Recluse]

If someone disrespected me like that I would definitely do something to them. I have walked away from many potential altercations but I would not walk away from one like that.