Getting tired

[JustTrying]

I do not mean to sound desperate.... but ME is all I can worry about now... and my dogs.... but throw a child in the mix???? I will KNOW Wednesday..... I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BABY.... BUT NOT NOW....... i AM TOO PARANOID AND UPSET TOO MUCH... to put it in a nice way ... just not good timing..... GOD likes to pick on me but not about this????

I KNOW God has a sense of humor and I do too.... but I give.....

Use to pray for God to help me and save me.....Help me.... this would be a funny way to do it..... but is it fair for the baby???? Not going to worry about it until next week... the docs can tell me... and if I am Preg GOD can KMA.....

THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME.... WHY NOT WHEN I WAS TAKING CARE OF "THEIR" KIDS??????

[Lindamomof7]

Hi JT

I understand how you feel about the "why's" of some things like your miscarraiges. Just this week it was brought up for me. Now I have 7 kids, ages 10 to 23 and in between the births I had 4 miscarraiges and 1 at 5 months of pregnancy so I "delivered" that one. It was tough to go through but I did. And I have always wondered "why" and I think this week my Dr might have found out why.

Since I had my pulmonary embolisms (lung clots)in July they said it was because of the estrogen from the pill. I went on the pill not to prevent pregnacy(had tubes tied already) but because of help regulating my mood and preventing it from worsening my cycles. Because I am not yet in menopause.

So the estrogen just made it worse and it seems I might have had these clots for over 5 years when the cardiologist and Dr's could never find out why I was short of breath and why my ankles always swelled.

Anyway they took 17 viles of blood this week because I was so sick last week they thought i might have been passing another clot and it seems I have a gene that can genetically cause me to form the clots and with that because it is vascular, it is very possible that is why I miscarried. It seems that might have been the reason why both my Mom and grandmother died of an aneurism in the brain and it is a maternal gene.

Point is, there are reasons why we are who we are and if it wasnt for me being exposed to this and trying to understand the "why's" I might not have any type of knowlege of any of this. So sharing and understanding others and learning as we go along certainly helps us on our journey through life...

Good luck and keep up the good work. I love how you are understanding that all of us have different backgrounds, come from different worlds and yet we can all seem to get along

[JustTrying]

thank you so much for "understanding" my "fears' and "concerns" most people just dismiss me and THEN I get mad..... does that make sense???

HUSBAND was here this weekend and he went B ing to the dogs that he had no jogging pants here....( he has not much any more except tools.. he done took all his stuff to his Gfriends) he wasn't talking to ME so I thought FU..... BUT he eventually asked me .... I told him 2 wks ago I put all that in the Broom closet... and I ASKED him for the 100 th time ... DO YOU JUST NOT HEAR ME WHEN I TALK???? am I wasting my breathe?.... Yeah I am... and yes he HAS TO GO>>>> When I do not know... but HE is killing me... even my Phc doc says he can cause me to get manic... and if you have been in this for long.... THEY SAY that Manic just happens??? well not for me I can be doing fine.... UNTIL... and then UNTIL happens... and I go off and then I am just crazy....

ANYWAY... he has to GO.... HE is KILLING me

Gabs