mscat Posted October 3, 2008 Report Share Posted October 3, 2008 :(I had only self injured twice in about four months. getting A Yorkie puppy really help change the way I feel about myself. However, now I Burned my arm half way on Wed . and it felt good . The first touch of the Cigar felt pain, then it lessened and lessend where there was hardly any . NOW, today is my 40th Birthday, and I do not want to be that old :eek: I may have bounced a check i needed to write for groceries, and stressed over that too, and I want to feel good right now. I am alone, and I wat to Self injure, and get that "high" from the endorphin rush . YES, indeed there is actually A feeling of relaxation after a eposoide of self injury for me. Once i start To si again, it is difficult to quit . ANd it is back for i do not know how long. For now, I am keeping the burns to the second degree level. ANd feel like if is a way to purify my body of all the bad that I have inside me. NO it is not self punishment per sey , but a way to cleanse out the evil from within. YES, My therapist knows this, and has seen the burns. Whn I burn, it is not in big circles , the burns are together looking like one huge mess of burns. Then I wear long sleeves, because of the large blisters. AND my arm swells three times the size . my hand even swelled yesterday. It is odd that my arm swells up when I Si, but just for a few days. The poor left arm has been burned, and reburned numerous times. it scars up, and then is burned all over again. I Can't burnm on the other arm anymore because of my tattoos, and the severely burned forearm and hand, wrist area. SO yes, I AM A self injurey Junkie. When will I stop? Do not know? Thought of getting a tat that said, Burning to Death.... YEs, I am morbid as well. When I get into these moods I get a bit "freaky" Sorry I just felt like I needed to write stuff down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.