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slowly heading downhill


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Looks like I lost my anti-virus protection. which might be part of reason I cant post longer threads. I cant afford to update. Have to use money I have left on hotel & food.

I am ashamed, embarrased & basically have let myself go & losing hope more & more on a daily basis. I guess if somehow I would have just let my Son go instead of trying to keep both of us afloat & homeless this past year we both may of been better off.

It is all starting to crash down on me & becomming to overwhelming. I know both of us need help, but were doing nothing to improve our situation. i just am not looking forward to our outcome. Homeless, me in hospital; who knows about my son?

I tried to do the right thing; but again somewhere I screwed up. I just feel tired' lazy & overwhelmed. my children love & look up to me; but I have failed. I honestly dont know how I made it this last seven years. Im here today, but I just cant see a future anymore. Last year in January we were homelessfor a few days & my dad died. This next January looks worse.

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I wrote a reply; no suprise it did not post.

So I will make this quick. THANK YOU for your continued Support, Advice & Help.

At some point I will have no choice but to get out of my Shell, Overcome my Fears & seek the help I need. I am not making enough of an effort. Many times lately i have been thinking how I was able to overcome this more in my twenties, thirties & even my forties. Now in my Fifties I just dont know.

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I hadn't heard from you in a bit and was concerned. I am sorry sounds like this has been a rough month for both of us. Have you thought about starting your own business until a job comes along? Nothing big that requires tons of cash just something small to bring in a little extra cash. Selling a product or something.

Speaking of which I had created something myself I sold to stores.. would have done well to I think just didn't have enough time to put into it. Up to you but if your interested in selling it I have a ton left over just sitting around collecting dust. The one store I did get it in it sold out @ 20.00 a unit MSRP :) So I know it has the potential to sell.

PM me if I can figure out how it works lol.

Lets see if I can at the very least get some networking going for you, see if any of my few friends know of any job openings close to you.

Time for me to stop whining about my problems and see if I can help others some.

Gotta go soon so if I don't reply soon.. not that I am ignoring you.

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58 Corvette, hang in there, sounds like randompersom may have a bit of a solution for you, as for finding the motivation, I know what you mean..you just get so beat down by life its hard to get up...but you did it before I bet and you can do it again. As far as your children I bet they would rather be homeless with you then anywhere else..thats love.

keeping you in my thoughts.


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