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Borderline Personality Disorder gets easier to deal with age?


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I have read a lot about Borderline Personality Disorder and how the symtomes/behaviors decrease and the person stabilises as they get older.

Mostly after their mid 30's or so. The relationship problems tend to decrease and the person leads a happier, more stable life.

HOWEVER, this is not true for everyone? Or is it that the older BPD suffeer's are just losers?

I write this because of my personal history with this particalr diagnosis. At 16 things went badly for me, was Hospitalized in a few Insitutions for over two years straight , and then came to find out later some of it was for BPD, And Psychosis.

Well, I then went on and suffered eating disorders, then got into petty theft , and sexual promisicutiy.

I got pregnant, then fianally stated holding my own for A while. The focus was on my child. Despit being fired from ever teaching job , I still hung on.

I had a HUGE stressful even overtake my life, which sent me reeling, However, did the best I could , and then moved, and that is when the clinical depression hit me .

Meds for that , and they helped , got back on my feet, but AGAIN lost my part time job. THAt is when I once again was in hell.

The self injury came back horribly and worse then ever. This happened about two-3 yrs ago.

AGAIN DX with BPD, low thyroid, Clinical Depression . AT 36 yrs ol. NOW at 40 , why can't it go away? and even out for me? isn't that is what suppose to happen in borderlines?

I am so Sick and tired of fighting every sinle day just to even take a shower is a huge deal.

I am not tired of the SI , just the depression, and not ever feeling good much or for very long . JUST when does it stop? will it? or is this going to kill me? :(

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There are trends with this sort of thing, but each person's path though the maze is unique. I'd love to tell you that I understand the contributions of aging (from a biological point of view) and psycho-emotional maturation as applied to this population of people, but I don't have blanket statements to make or to quote at the moment. I have seen some people with severe personality disorders get better as they have aged, but I don't know if that is because of the therapy they were doing, because of some hormone shift in their bodies, or what. Therapies like dialectical behavioral therapy are known to work on average to help people with BPD live a more mellow life. Newer therapies like transference focused therapy (see here and here; based on older psychodynamic therapies) are suggested to be helpful as well. And of course there are many proven therapies for depression that, on average, help people to feel better. But not everything works for everyone. And you seem to have multiple issues happening at once, with the life and parenting stress you're under, plus the personality level stuff plus the mood stuff on top of that. So it is a very complicated picture. I know there is hope for you. This stuff doesn't have to kill you. But I don't think it's necessarily going to lessen simply because you're getting older. The best bet is to follow the treatment recommendations well, live as healthy a lifestyle as you can, and to pursue "proven" therapies (scientifically validated ones like DBT, or TFT (emerging)) as you are able.

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Thank you Mark. That was THe best reply i have had from you so far, and most helpful.

putting it into perspective helps me know more about what I am dealing with as the struggle continues daily. You are correct to say that their are multiple issues , which in turn makes it more complicated .

My son, the Borderline personality disorder, the self injury, sometimes severe , and anger outburts, moodiness, anxiety, numbness, and needing reality checks from time to time all play a role into this.

I am in therapy, but not any "special" type of therapy. I could talk to my Psychatrist and see what he reccomends.

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I meant to provide links to some Transference Focused Therapy (TFT) stuff in my last post but somehow I didn't manage to get them in there. So here they are:

an interview with Otto Kernberg - famous psychoanalyst psychiatrist and originator of TFT, and an interview with John Clarkin, psychologist and therapy research also on TFT. I'm glad that my response felt helpful.

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  • 1 month later...

Some of the interpersonal symptoms of BPD can be worsened by the Internet. For example, many people with BPD have abandonment sensitivity, believing they are being abandoned (even when they aren't) and can engage in desperate measures to avoid real or perceived abandonment.ow does this play out on the Internet? Using the Internet to communicate can be very interesting — you can't see the other person, you can't read their nonverbal cues and you don't know when they have received your half of the communication. This ambiguity can be very difficult for people with BPD to deal with and may lead to perceived abandonment when there is none.The Internet can also facilitate some of the desperate behaviors people with BPD may engage in when they feel abandoned.

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