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soaring eagle

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As a child going to school my sister and I were bullied all through school as well as high school.

Every now and then I often wonder if the bullies ever feel bad about what they have done. Or have some kind of remorse.

Because of the bullying I'be taught my children not to be bullies and so far it's working.

Do bullies have remorse that is my question?

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I reckon it depends on why they became bullies in the first place and whether they even recognise that they are bullies....

Reckon if they are total sociopaths they wont feel any remorse whatsoever! I reckon it also depends on the family enviro they grew up in - if bein a bully is applauded by an equally messed up parent - there sure aint too much room for learning empathy. Actually empathy is probably a good word here - cos seems to me that's what they'd need to show remorse surely.

If they were meaybe bullied themselves - in the long run they should be able to show remorse cos they've also been in those shoes.

The bullies that I've encountered - now grown up have been very remorseful but hell there are some that go on to become the next hoodlums and criminals - they sure dont feel too much remorse.


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I see what you mean several yrs ago one of the bullies apologized to me because he felt bad.

And your right it all starts from the home.

I have a son who is very popular in school lots of friends and I've taught him not to be a bully and think about the some students who are not as popular. He doesn't pick on them or make fun of.

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God I seen one of those bullies back when i went to school!

And everytime I see one of them I feel like going to them and pounding the shit out of them as well.

I had a shitty home life and then go to school to deal with the same bull day after day gets to you. :mad: it makes me even more mad that the bullies grow up and not even have a thought about the victim.

Sorry I had to get this out of my system. Now I feel a little bit better.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am so sorry you guys went through this. Its a horrible feeling and it leaves lifelong scars.

Some do grow out of it but some don't. I have gotten results both ways. I have mine blocked here online. Some I have unblocked on FB and other places but others will stay blocked. I am not ready to repeat history under any circumstances. Plus, I have no interest in talking to them.

I had one bully apologize to me. I have had a couple try to friend me on FB and MySpace. They behave as if nothing ever happened. Again, not ready for this.....

If you guys are interested, feel free to check out my website. It is devoted to working with and working towards getting Adult Survivors of Peer Abuse to heal. http://www.peerabuse.net .

Hang in there and Soaring Eagle, I am glad to read that you have talked to your popular son about this problem. It makes a difference more than anyone will ever realize....

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I know how you feel to be picked on at school growing up. I am the "fat kid". I am still overweight, only a bit now. I too have children, I have tried like mad to have them remember that if they want to be treated in a nice way that they need to treat others in that same nice way. It seems to have worked most days.

I have my 14 year old tell me about all of her school and after school "adventures" almost as if I am vicariously living through my teenage years again, only I think hers are way better, and she could possibly think that hers are just as bad if not worse than mine were.

Hang in there, you can do it!

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  • 1 year later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 4 weeks later...

From my experience, no. They are not. In my opinion, a lot of them still look at themselves as being superior and just see the memory of tormenting their victims as a funny moment in their sad, miserable pastlife.

That doesn't mean all of them are incapable of remorse, though.

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