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how to deal with being alone?


soh238
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I'm alone too. We should start a club. The loners club. Ten million strong and growing. All those non-loners, all those people with friends...what outcasts. I mean seriously...

I'm sorry. I'm losing my mind. I use humor to deal in my I'm-so-out-of-it-I'm-going-to-burt-into-tears-if-I-don't-grin sort of way. Hopefully I'm not offending.

Being alone sucks. You don't suck.

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I've been alone for so long that it just comes naturally. Oh I would love to have a glass of wine but I've been sober for almost 14yrs. If I started again I would never stop even though it would take the feelings of some of the pain away.

But I definitely don't miss hangovers either

Believe me when I tell you been there alot of times

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I thought about the post about being alone all nite I can't even come up with an answer for even myself. The more I think about it now it's I just can't describe it!

I haven't been on here all day long came back to this post hoping for an answer but, ya know really there isn't one. I myself am in my only world where I have been alone since 2005. I don't regret the reason behind it but, I know I would rather be alone than go back to the fakie world I had!

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It is difficult when one gets that feeling. Do you think that you would be with people if you had the chance? What kind of people would you like to be with? Doing what?

I find that where i live there is a big pressure to be sociable, excited, having fun... I am not really like that and i too end up alone quite frequently. I see it partly as being my choice, partly as not having the same social skills as many others.

Do you have any friends?

I hope you feel better today. Being alone doesn't mean that you are hateful. It's more complex than that, isn't it? :)

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Guest ASchwartz

Feeling lonely is one of the worst things a person can experience. I believe its important to ask what there is a lonely person can do about it? Its easy for people to blame themselves for being lonely, as in, thinking they must be so terrible a person that no one wants to be around. I don't believe and know that loneliness or being alone has deep routes. Perhaps its a way of staying away from others out of self dislike? Or, its a way of protecting from hurt? Or, its a protection from fear? These are just suggestions and are not a full list.

What keeps some of us alone? Lets discuss it if its okay with everyone.

Allan

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It's not really that I prefer it a firend of mid that lives way way up north told me we both were talking about this, said it seems the older we get it's like friendship just is like not what it use to be like. Even that we grew up together we still talk everyday & we realize how, & where we grew up. When the same people that you knew or thought that you knew will not want have anything to do with you & if you run into them somewhere they will act like they don't know you or go the opposite way. And when you have been married & divorce our friends become his friends because you are free & the wives don't want to be around you because you are god forbid a threat to them because of their husbands. [PLEASE} Actually who would want them?

Also when you have a child lives with you even if she is of age & the way she is they get mad when you have to change going out. So they slowly stop coming over & calling. When I have tried to call they always say oh I have to run & do something or I'm to busy rite now to talk. So you with everything wrong you just or with me rather than be hurt anymore than I already am I prefer and really am alone. I have no support form anybody but myself.

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I'm alone most of the time too. My son goes to school out of town, and leaves very early and I don't see him until 5pm. But, i have my 2 little doggies. They help . At least they like me. Not much of a people person anyway, so my dogs give me great comfort. That might seem dumb, but it really helps. If you like animals get a cat of dog, they will cheer you up, and never judge you.

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I have wondered myself about the difference between feelings of "aloneness" and feelings of loneliness. I am not alone, and yet I still have occasional pangs of loneliness. In the same respect, I also both need and enjoy my time alone. I think, for me, it is about connectivity with others. I need to know that friends and loved ones are near, and this is very comforting. Loneliness feels like a deep, aching pain to connect with others and to be known. It has also been helpful to me to learn about myself. Discovering aspects of myself that bring good feelings, then embracing and giving power to those parts, has become very self-connective and soothing. I'm doing that even now by expressing myself.

Soh, what brings you joy? I think you will find that when you are able to better understand yourself, your gifts will shine through, and others will naturally appreciate your presence. Try placing yourself in different situations that give you the opportunity to meet others. I agree about pets. They can be devoted and loving companions. Best of luck, soh.

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  • 1 month later...
I've been alone for so long that it just comes naturally. Oh I would love to have a glass of wine but I've been sober for almost 14yrs. If I started again I would never stop even though it would take the feelings of some of the pain away.

But I definitely don't miss hangovers either

Believe me when I tell you been there alot of times

Having tried some liquor over the past few weeks, I can tell you "there's no fool like an old fool!" I forgot that once I get started I like the taste so much that I can't quit! Then, the hangover hits. That's what made me quit to begin with!!

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Didn't even address your question--how to deal with being alone:

Close all the blinds. Put on your most awesome music. Strip down to your underwear and dance like a fool. (Sometimes a little wine helps with this). No one in the world knows how to party like you. Own it.

my blinds are always closed and I just try to sleep.

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