Finally the end!

[Leo1954]

Ya know I am finally tired and now it's maybe my time I also on here am so damn deep in a depression I personally don't care anymore! I have tried my best I care for everyone on this community but, I have now also gotten to the end where right now the only reason I'm on this God forsaken planet is my daughter. I just found out by my mothers lawyer called me. My so called cousin that I thought was part of MY! family coerced my mother in 2007 to change her will and leave her everything when it was suppose to go to me & my daughter! He told me that he told my mother that he didn't believe she didn't know what she would be doing she stated to him that she thought it was best if my cousin got it!

See screwed again by my mother & one damn lousy family member [so called] so that means when my mother passes away my daughter & I are homeless! This really don't surprise me my mother has done enough damage to me all my life dad didn't even want me so here I am taking care of my mom through everything even when my stepdad died in 2002 I have been there for her!!!!!!!! I have never ever even distrespected my parent's their entire life & still taking care of her because it's my job. Right now I am so numb that I'm seriously thinking of putting my daughter in a hospital that could take care of her for the rest of her life! Because I will not be able to take care of her on the streets. I particuarly right now don't care if that happens but, I love her but sometimes even though you love somebody you have to let them go. So right now this is the end of my life. I will probably start the ball rolling Monday first thing. Then it' good by for my life because I have nobody & been screwed by my family that IIIII haven taken care of since I turned 19 now it's my time to do for me what I have to do!!!!

[soregretful]

Please think about your daughter, Leo. I think you are one of the most supportive people I have ever met. Hey, come live with me! I am going through a hard time too just living with a mistake I made, but you obviously did a lot of things right. Are you sure you don't have anyone? I am where you are for a different reason, but to tell you the truth, I need you!! Your daughter needs you. You said you had a son...doesn't he need you too? Can you talk to him? You said he was pretty successful, right? I am sure he does not want to lose a parent. Call him. Call anyone. Life isn't easy, believe me, I know! I am trying to live down the biggest mistake of my life, and I am doing it because no matter what, I have my parents to stand by me. The parent child bond is usually one that can be relied on...Can you give that a try?

[shanrucas]

Leo!!!! I am so truly sorry about the loss of family, truly I am..I too discovered that I really don't have the family I thought I had..they all abandoned mom and I when we needed the support.

I don't want you to feel so alone, I know that everyone here does not have all the answers..but we do have each other...You need to take care of YOU, you are right that it doesn't do your daughter any good if you are crashing. But there are people out there that do care...reach out to whoever, search for the support YOU need...Can you go to a doctor or someone that can help with your depression, do you have a local Mental health agency near you....I know that money can be an issue believe...but one thing I did was go to Hospice and saw a wonderful counselor there and it didn't cost me anything..I chose them because even though my mom was not a client..they had an understanding about what it is like to care for someone you love especially without any support at all, and the understanding of all that goes with that...try and contact them at least I think every state has a Hospice.

Please hang in there Leo...keep me and everyone else here updated, maybe someone else in the community can offer some suggestions to this terrible situation.. Please hole on.

[Leo1954]

My mom still has her money. She is taken care by her own money. The problem isn't my mom except I wish she could of apologized to me for once in her almost 80 yrs. of life.

I have had to take both parents crap all my life. I still love my mom she is in a place [nursing home] that maybe is taking care of her. I just hell I don't know what to say.

I supposedly have a therapist how or when do I see her she don't care when I come I come. I have been in with therapist & psych since 1993 I am not getting better it's 10 times worse since I started this is the only second therapist and the second office I have been to only because the first therapist & psych. retired. So I had to switch practices I rite now with everything going on and just what I found out really don't care what happens because what will it matter if I am out of a home to live and have to give my daughter up!

Honestly & I mean Honestlly woul you seriously care! Please tell me the truth!!!!!!

[IrmaJean]

Leo, I'm sorry all of this is happening. It must be frightening and discouraging. Situations can change for the better. I know that may be difficult to see right now. I hope that you choose to keep trying. Can you contact your therapist and ask for support? Maybe it would be helpful to express your feelings. You can keep expressing them here as well.

[Leo1954]

Express to her I might as well sit and talk to my pug she at least licks my face & says I'm here for you! As far as my son we love each other him & my daughter are close but, it's to long for it let's put it this way my ex their father kinapped him when he was 6 I didn't find him until 18 he feels still brainwashed for what happened he was overseas I didn't talk to him from the age of six when I found him he was 18 we didn't even keep in contact until last yr. he was suppose to come and visit forEaster I still can't get ahold of him he knows what is happening but, I guess with what has happened he justs???

When I say I'm alone I mean alone I don't even have anybody to talk to on the phone it's pretty pathetic isn't it! I am just sitting here planning what I'm probably going to have to do. And as thinking of my daughter probably that's exactly why I'm having to do what's going to be the best for her. I can't let the state take her from me if I can't provide a roof over her head then the Dr.s plus her caseworkers come into play. So I would rather give her up voluntarily than let her see them take her from me. I can sit her down and try to explain to her what is the best I won't tell her why. I can't let her know she wouldn't have a home she just lost the one she has had for 26yrs. We have only been here since March 23rd and now we won't have nowhere to go how do you think I could tell her that I won't I will let her know something.else. You have to understand there is nobody no family left no friens everybody is GONE

[Guest SomethingOrOther]

I'm sorry this is happening, leo.

Did your mothers lawyer tell you if you'd get any of the money, or if you can do anything to get it? I think relatives get a certain percentage "for sure" over here, which is sort of a right, but I don't know about the US.

I hope you find a way to work through this.

Take care,

S.

[pseudome]

Hang inthere leo

Its alwys darkesst before dawn right?

[Leo1954]

You can leave your money to your animals if you want. It you to be you could contest it but, now if you can you have to pay for their lawyer & yours it would cost me around $36,000 to contest that is not including court costs. Now kinda hard huh!

[IrmaJean]

Wow, Leo. I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how hard it must be shouldering all of this alone. I hope things turn around for you soon.

[mscat]

Leo,

I just lost my first post in here, typing a answer. Well here it goes again. I am thinking that you could quaoify for low income housing. HUD and or section 8. Hud housing their is no wait. U only have to fill an aplication. And as long as your credit is not too bad, and their is no criminal history, the HUD housing goes buy what income you have yearly, and reduces it . So the less income you have the less you pay for rent.

I am alone too, have a special needs son. LIke you and your daughter. Also she certainly ought to qualify for SSI, if not on it already. Just trying to help you because you have helped me in so many ways, plus I feel for you. Since their is no family around to support you, their are programs that will. Your daughter is eligible for regional center support too. They can help with housing in your county.

I am all alone too, raising my son now who is nearing 18. Who has autism with cognitive delays, in fact I have raised him since he was born, all by myself, no child support nothing. It can be done. Your daughter needs you. She is better off with you, not in a home placement from the state.

Sometimes we have to look into the future and make the right choices for our kids, not meaning to place them with strangers . You don't have to give up. You can do this without the extra support your family has given you. It is a shame they did this , i do not understand why in the world they would. But , it happens, and thing can change. Especially , knowing the fact you have been taking care of your mother ! Perhaps this can be reversed . Doesn\t your family see what you have done for your mother? and taking care of your disabled daughter? Family stinks sometimes, and turns on you when you need them the most, But their are solutions , and ways to find a home or low income place to live . Check on the internet, the HUD housing in your area. I know HUD is everywhere in the UNited States. Section 8 can take a while to get , But the nice thing about HUD is once your in there you can live peacfully .

I am on SSDI , and trying to set up for my son's SSI and adult disability is a pain , but it is worth it.

Please try not to thnk it is the end. Because it is not. You really do have options out there. My son is the biggest reason why I am still alive. Heck, if it came down to it, i would live in a homeless shelter with him until we could get back on our feet. The State wil not interfer as long as you guys have a roof over your heads , a friends house , or something. Even in a hotel , they can't touch you. Or your daughter. Temporary housing until you get on your feet would be ok too.

Start looking around now for housing, do not give up. It is not the End.

[soregretful]

Hang in there Leo!

You can find a way to make it work Leo! We love you! {{{Leo}}} That is a hug! Anything is possible, kiddo! Keep talking to us!!

SR

[Leo1954]

Hi!

My husband thanks to him plus I found out I'm still legally married after being separated since 2005 has completely ruined my credit, I was hoping to file bankruptcy if I do, but, if I do that was one thing I was going to do. HUD won,t halp me because I don,t have money or a job so screw that! Now section 8 I can apply starting May 6th through May 17th I am hoping I can stay up that night because at 12:01 a.m. I'm going to do it you can do it online I don't know how long but one day my dryer broke down so I was at a laundery mat I was talking to a woman we well she really started talking about sec. 8 she has been on the waiting list for 8 yrs. this was just this past summer when I met her 2010 I'm going to do it but what if I have to even wait 10,20 30, days that might turn into months that turns into yrs. In this area if there is alot of people on the waiting list they get it first & there is alot that's waiting. I have even checked into other cities near me & they are not even taking applications & they don't know when they will. They don't send out letters or contact you. I just happen to find it in my city by accident looking for it on online

[Sherzade]

Leo, i am so sorry. I feel angry and very revolted. I don't know what to say.

Is your mum well enough at the moment? Can you talk with your her about this?

It all sounds so intense Leo. You haven't got anybody because you have spent most of your life taking care of other people. You didn't feed and nurture friendships but you can still do it. You have enough to fight for at the moment. Beating yourself up doesn't help. You didn't do anything wrong. I do understand that you feel fed up and tired though. You so deserve a better life and i hope that you can turn things around in your favour.

Keep us updated please. I am thinking of you.

(((Leo)))

[Leo1954]

Hi

Sherzade no my mom is on her last stage of Alzheimers she can't walk, talk, no anything now she can't swallow the only reason she is alive is a feeding tube so she won't starve to death. I'm srprised she is alive where she was before they went against her DNR

she I hate to say this but was legally dead last year. She was suppose to not be resuciated so now she is just laying in the nursing home just laying there so she can go on her own. I don't care anymore what happens to me anymore, not my daughter she will be taken care of I already found out today because I had to do something that I had to do what is best for her. Right now I know when my mom goes & with what I have had to do for my daughter. I know what I will have to do it is personal and I would rather not say.

[Sherzade]

Leo,

I know that you are tired and feel that you can't take life any longer. It does sound very hard indeed. Please do not make any decision or plan that you can't revert whilst you are feeling so disappointed and angry.

Feel free to talk about what's going on in your mind in here or PM someone you feel comfortable with, if you want/need. We are not here to judge you. We are here because we all go through hard times in one way or another and we try to help each other by thinking together.

I am thinking of you.