Living in Confinement really taking it's toll!

[shanrucas]

I just had one of the toughest weekends ever...all because I reacted to Mother's Day,,now Fathers Day is around the corner..is it me, is it the fact that I am confined, that my mother is in the condition she is in, my father is gone now! What! I can't take much more of this life. Holidays such as these never affected me this badly, but now anything does...I mean really..am I going to have a meltdown on the Fourth of July now as well. I can't take this confinement much longer...I don't know why mom is hanging on so...but I don't think I can.

I just scared the hell out of my self...I took my meds to sedate myself because I felt I was spinning out of control..but I think I must of taken double of what I am suppose to...it knocked me down and out till about now..I am now in a panic cause I cannot sleep for long periods of time due to have to take care of my mom..thankfully she is ok...think I will toss out those meds and just cope the best I can.

I just hate feeling out of control of my emotions........I cant take another ten years of this.....I hoping to just get through the season.

[IrmaJean]

How are you feeling now? I'm sorry you're so distressed.

[Leo1954]

Hey!

I found out some information for you!!

How are you doing I have been thinking of you all day. I even called the nursing home I just wanted to see how she was doing. Please take care I need to make sure you are OK

I will pm you when I get my daughter taken care of tonite.

I was going to say relax lay back like on a commercial pretend you are on a remote island with the beautiful white sand and crystal blue water & drinking a glass of wine.

Hey this even sounds great to me and hell I wrote it!!

Where and what island do you want to meet and will have fun even in our minds nobody can take that away HUH

[pseudome]

Hey shanrucas,

I hope you're ok. I tend to cringe on mother's day myself and pretend it doesn't exist. My mom died when I was five--I don't remember much about her, but mother's day has always been a sore spot. It's hard seeing everyone else taking part in something you can't.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time and feeling trapped. Hang in there!

[mscat]

I understand you as well. I grew up in foster care, and the mother was constantly verbally and emotionally abusive. We are not on speaking terms. Now I am a single parent to a autistic son who has cognitive delays. His class did not do anything special this year for mothers day, so it was just like anther day to me, but It really did not bother me too much, was not expecting nothing, so was not so let down when nothing special happened.

I am confined, reclusive , and not much of a social person at all. I hate leaving the safety of my apt . Something about having to even see people is enough to make me nautiouis. But that is jsut me, and the way things are set out to be. I have learned to just accept this as a part of everyday life.

[shanrucas]

I have no problems leaving my life of confinement when givin the chance..I feel guilty however wanting more for myself when my mother needs me so much..She could need me for yet another ten years or so, who knows. I feel so lost and confused right now I can't think straight.

I got a chance to go out with friends to dinner, a very rare occasion indeed. had lots of fun..but then it was back to reality. My reality is all invovling around my mom right now... I only get sneak brief breaks to myself. I have recently wanted more for myself, my future and I just can't get around the walls that keep me from achieving any goals a set towards the future.

I am beginning to think that this is what I was suppose to do towards the end of my life, taking care of my mom. after that...its just the end.. Like I said many emotions and confusins going around my head.

[Leo1954]

Hey!

I definitely know exactly on this one how you are feeling it's the most hardest thing for you to do. Can you get someone from respite care to come in and watch your mom? I did this at the very beginning just to let me get out for anything you want to do. Your mom gets what insurance even if it's me medicare or medicaid I don't know what your state calls it because some call it medicall they will pay for that Shann. You can also get her Drs. involved for this they will get a medical script. and they will say it is medically necessary.

Even if it's 4hrs. a week or if they will give you longer hrs. You can break it down for everyday exp. 2hrs.Friday 3hrs.Monday Now on the weekends down here they will charge astromincal price I don,t know about there. See if you can also do this. I didn't think to tell you this one sorry. Let me know call her Drs. Monday & raise hell they have to know you are the only one taking care of her right? Also either you can call her insurance plus the Drs. Go For This One Also

[shanrucas]

Hi Leo...mom is on medicare and ODS is her supplemental insurance, again however because of retirement her insurance will not cover respite care, she has to pay out of pocket for it. The only respite care provided here is in nursing home at $130.00 per day. Even if I did this one day, it would not be worth it because it takes so much to get her loaded into wheel chair pay for transport to get her there, by that time half the day would be gone..However, I will talk to her docs for more info on these, but I can tell you that they are just as frustrated as I am over the insurance issues she is faced with.....Thanks though for doing your best to suggest something, I have looked for solutions, but just keep hitting walls...