Calla Posted September 17, 2011 Report Posted September 17, 2011 ....now losing the war. Feeling like I want to be dead again now. And realise the plan is to drink myself to death as no one will ever love me. Pathetic again.
Guest ASchwartz Posted September 18, 2011 Report Posted September 18, 2011 Calla,First, I want to tell you that I Am happy you are here again.Of course, I'm also worried about you.You surely k ow that drinking will only make you fee worse.You need to stop drinking.But, what is making you feel you are losing the war?Do you need to call 911 for help? are you safe?Allan
IrmaJean Posted September 18, 2011 Report Posted September 18, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling badly again, Calla. Did something recently happen in your life that has caused you distress? What did you do that helped before? I know you were taking anti-depressants, but did you ever see a therapist for your depression? Take care, Calla.
Jenna520 Posted September 18, 2011 Report Posted September 18, 2011 Hi, Calla. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I'm with Allan, the drinking, though it seems like the perfect cure all for forgetting problems at the moment, is like pouring salt on an open wound. Do you have someone that you can call, someone to be with, that you can talk to openly without alcohol. Please take care of yourself and seek help before hurting yourself becomes an option. Many prayers Love Jenna.
Guest ASchwartz Posted September 19, 2011 Report Posted September 19, 2011 Calla,We care and hope you will respond to us.Allan
Calla Posted October 12, 2011 Author Report Posted October 12, 2011 I just dont understand humans at all. The way they can be towards each other. I see little goodness in my day to day life so I always think "well whats the point, I may as well get drunk!"I was doing really well on 40mg of citralopram. I felt like a different person. Now over a yr later the doctors have said it's time to come off. I am now down to 20mg every 2nd day and I feel awful. But I just feel they wont believe me. They say all I can do now is CBT but because of my job I am away all the time. Like I say was winning the battle!
Calla Posted October 13, 2011 Author Report Posted October 13, 2011 Hi there...I don't know where you are based but I am in the UK and they just still dont seem to look favourably on ADs. When I first summoned the courage to see the Dr (after many yrs) I was crying my eyes out asking for help and he said "maybe you just don't deal well with stress!"I finally got some medication but was told it would only be for 3-6months. I got to a year and then they said time to come off. I truly feel I have suffered from depression most of my life, adult and child. But they say medication is a small part and CBT is the most part. But as I say my work life is complicated and I find it difficult to make time without losing money.I feel like life is ok but I am totally fine if I happen to pass away...the thought does not bother me, so that makes it harder to stop drinking.
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