Rock and Hard Place

[bleakandblue]

I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. My wife is out of control and any time I say anything she makes threats. I feel like we need to split, but she says she won't let me see the kids if I go. I wouldn't put it past her to lie and say things about me that aren't true to get her way. I don't know how to go about this.

[IrmaJean]

I'm sorry this situation is so painful for you. It must be especially difficult when there are children involved. I'm not clear on specific laws regarding this kind of situation around your children. Do you have an attorney you could speak with to talk about your rights in this? Will your wife listen to reason? Placing the kids in the middle of this and using them to control you can't be good for them. I'm sorry you are going through this.

[bleakandblue]

There isn't much I can do about this without making things worse. The ball is in her court and that's just how it is. I need to focus on making the best of what I have instead of trying to change things. I feel like a failure. This is all my fault.

[Lana73]

Why is it your fault? Don't you think you are too tough on yourself?

[bleakandblue]

No, I don't. I think I'm a coward and a loser.

[Lana73]

No, I don't. I think I'm a coward and a loser.

Just because you are trying to avoid a conflict and make things worse does not make you to be coward or a loser. Everyone's reaction to marital problems is different.

At the same time, maybe you also need to reevaluate your relationship with your wife. No one deserves to be put down by anyone.

[bleakandblue]

I married her for life. There's not much more to it than that. Her and the kids are all I have. It would be stupid to mess it up.