down again

[kbeanz05]

Feeling low today,I'm new to forum and have only posted once..would love to get chatting with people as quite alone anyway I hope your all doing ok and are well? Hugs

[SweetSue]

Hi kbean05,

Sorry your feeling low and alone

How did the visit over christmas with your children go?

It must have been very heart breaking

I still remember the last christmas visit with my children, and that was over 2 years ago now - totally heart wrenching - dont think the hurtfrom that visit with ever go away.

Anyway Im thinking of you, and hope that your hurt eases soon for you.

take care

Sue

[Lana73]

Hi and I am glad you are back. Did something trigger your feeling of being sad and down today?

[kbeanz05]

Hey....visit was very emitional,still raw in my mind alot of mixed feelings I'm still fighting with,mood is just up and down.I hold alot of anger towards my childrens dad as he didn't show up to good buy visit as he couldn't deal with it yes I understood that it would be heart breaking extra but geez it was our last christmas final Goodby and he didn't bother,I held it together right till end...and then broke,straggling with flashbacks atm and just feel life is shit n y do I bother to keepgoing? Racing thoughts prevrnting me from sleep,n now no longer have a psychotherapy as didn't show up I'm useless

[SweetSue]

Hi,

I truely understand, I remember the hurt, the mood swings etc, that the goodbye visit left me with, (still struggling with them now). Well done for holding it together whilst saying goodbye to your children, I know just how intensely hard that was. :(

Life is shit, not always, but certainly a fair chunk of the time (well thats how my life is anyway). You keep going because your a surviver, and possibly (as in my case) because in your heart you know that one day your children WILL come looking for you and you can be together again. Thats about the only thing that keeps me going if Im honest, and I know that for me its a long shot - but its the only hope that I have.

Can you get in touch with your phychotherapist, explain that you had more important meetings to attend. Im sure your that your therapist (if your T is a good one) will understand and offer you another appointment.

Also, have Social Services offered you councelling - to help come to terms with saying goodbye to your children. They offered it to me - but me being me, I saw it as a insult, coz they had just 'legally stollen' my babies and what a nerve to offer me some sort of peace offering for all the hurt and devastation they caused my family, and what a cheek to pretend to care - so I told 'em to stick where the sun dont ever shine. Yep Im still real mad at them - cant hide it, cant help it. But in my eyes is perfectly justified. :mad:

Maybe their counseling could help?

Im just so sorry that this has happened to your family too, and I really hope that your hurt eases one day.

Take care

sue