Children with Asperger's???

[frazzled1]

Hey my 7 y/o son has Asperger's. I have read pretty extensively about it but he also has asthma and the meds contain steroids and I know the effect they can have on a typical mind. Is it normal that he goes through bouts of extreme frustration over minor disagreements?

[frazzled1]

Nobody knows or nobody cares??

Let me elaborate...he is normally well behaved but he has short phases now and then where it seems like the tiniest thing upsets him and then he can't stop getting upset about everything.

Anyone know?

[mscat]

Hi there frazzled,

welcome to the community. I have a son that has autism, however he is high functioning. He does not have Asperger's Syndrome because he had the language delay/loss when he was a toddler and he also has intellectual disabilites, he is a wonderful person wiht a huge heart. My son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum at age 4 , he is now 18 yers old. My son also gets upset over the smallest things , he has temper tantrums, and it does not matter if it is at home or in public. So it can be chalenging and embarassing. Can your son calm down after a few minutes? Or does it take him a whille to feel better? I know when mu son was younger he would go straight to his room for a calm down period, I would let him be and he wouuld come out when he was ready and felt better, sommetimes he would even apoligise. I try to help him by telling him it is not a big deal you are ok, and everything is fine. Sometimes he would bring it up again after months later , not upset anymore just wants to talk about it again, and again, and again , the obsessive type of behavior. I think that sometimes if a child does not have the words to express how he feels he will show it in his behavior. I ubderstand a child who haas ASperger's Syndrome has very good verbal skills but when upset it still can be chalenging to talk about it calmly without getting so upset. even adults can have a hard time talking about thngs when upset , and may react in a more emotional way then expected.

[danni]

I guess I would have to ask what the "littlest things" are? Children with aspbergers can be very rigid in their thinking and in their routines. Also with their expectations. By that I mean that if the "littlest thing" varied from what your child expected to happen, it can cause a lot of anxiety. One person I talked to who has aspbergers said that the hardest thing he has to deal with as a person with aspbergers is "surprises." Meaning just what I described above. The unexpected can cause anything from irritation/frustration to full out melt downs.

[IrmaJean]

My eldest daughter (15) has higher than average traits on the autism scale, but has never been diagnosed. When she was younger she was extremely rigid and had frequent emotional outbursts. Some things I recall...spots on her new shoes, a crinkle in the paper she was drawing on, coloring outside the lines...We were able to minimize such outbursts by preparing her ahead for any changes in routine, making sure she wasn't overtired or hungry, and trying to help her express her needs through words. She'd often draw pictures and push them under her bedroom door (after having shut herself in there while having a tantrum). I think it's also important to consider the subjective experience of the child. What might seem like little things to you and I might not be little to them. My daughter was also set off by bright lights and noise. I would encourage your son to express himself while also trying to help him find ways to self-soothe when he becomes upset.

My brother has severe autism. I understand this can be challenging for all family members. It can be difficult trying to meet everyone's needs while also struggling to create balance. I hope that you have a strong support system at home, frazzled, and that you are able to take some time for yourself. This is so very important for both you and your son. Take care.

[frazzled1]

I think what upsets him most is that his friends have their own methods/mannerisms/ideas on how to do things or what to play. He seems to get most upset when his friend wants to play something else or wants to play in a different way than himself. And when he gets upset he is nearly inconsoleable and uncontrollable. When he was 2-4 he would feed everyone lines, like directing them what to say or how to act. I frequently tell him that people all have their own inner voice. They have their own way of doing things and their own likes and dislikes. I tell him that his friends may not want to play if they cannot play their way sometimes. The trouble is that he goes through periods where it doesn't seem to matter to him. Like casual friday in his head. He can be accomidating to the thoughts and feelings of others but then (once in a while, without predictibility), he just becomes rigid and upset when things don't follow his personal itenerary. I don't know what sets off this behavior. I monitor his diet and watch for the 3 R's but there don't really seem to be any clues. Does anyone know anything else I can watch for?

[IrmaJean]

He can be accomidating to the thoughts and feelings of others but then (once in a while' date=' without predictibility), he just becomes rigid and upset when things don't follow his personal itinerary.[/quote']

I think all kids go through this to some extent at times. The rigidity can be particularly challenging, I understand. I'm not sure that I have any magic answers, unfortunately. Support him the best that you can while explaining calmly that sometimes the unexpected can happen and things don't always go the way we hope they will. One thing I think children really need to learn about, though it can be a painful lesson, is that disappointment happens sometimes in life. It happens, we feel hurt, but we survive it. We get back up and we keep trying.

Does anyone know anything else I can watch for?

I would say watch for any familiar cues from him. Remove him from the situation, and distract him, before the tantrum sets in. All easier said than done...

It sounds to me as if you are doing your very best to guide him along the path. Do you receive any help from counselors or special programs in school?

Take care.

[frazzled1]

He actually got a behavior award in Kindergarten for never breaking a rule. This year he seems to be having trouble listening attentively but he stays out of trouble and mostly gets good grades. The school knows his diagnosis but because it has not been a problem they won't consider changing anything. He doesn't see a therapist and he isn't on any meds except for asthma inhaler (daily and rescue). I have a supportive family and understanding friends and we all do the best we can by the boy. I just wanted to know if anyone had any special tips or hints on how to deal with these types of episodes.

Thank you all for your help.

[BlueAbaloneDog]

My son has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, he is 9 now. My issues keep me from dealing as well as I would like to with him. He's my youngest. He likes video games more than the company of other kids. He can play them all day. He seems happy to. Kids sometimes knock for him and if he's into what he's doing, he'll decline to come out and play which is usually. He is really fixated on the video games, guns...one track mind, in a real fantasy world.

He doesn't listen to me worth a darn and hates doing anything else but playing the games. School--hates it. His writing--chicken scratch. The teachers work with him as best they can--they are really good with him at his school. If I did my part it would be a lot better; unfortunately this is one of the things I "can't" deal with b/c of my own probs.