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Too Late for Me


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My embarrassment, shame, insecurities and feelings of inadequacy that I've felt over the years due to having a small penis has gotten me to a point where I feel it's a hopeless situation for me.

I'm in my mid-50's with no girlfriend. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, I've only had 3 women in my life - and had sex with only one of them. One was a virgin, and one I only dated 4 or 5 times and never had the nerve to initiate sex with her either. She left me with no warning or reason but I have a good idea that my lack of aggression sexually was the culprit (although I don't know for sure since she didn't have the decency to give me a clue what went wrong).

Those of you out there that are a lot younger than me and have Small Penis Syndrome, please go see a psychologist to get help. Don't let any more years pass. If you do, you'll end up like me - alone, ashamed, and mentally broken.

I tried a psychologist once, and it didn't help since I couldn't get past my fears. When I tried to apply some good advice by the counselor, I immediately felt too overwhelmed and gave up. But just because my experience was not a success, yours might be. It's worth a shot, because you need someone to give you a different perspective on your life so you can try to help yourself.

It's too late for me. I've beaten myself up so badly about my situation, it's just too daunting of a task at this point. It's pathetic. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I feel inferior to just about every other man out there. It kills me to see other couples in love. I can't go to anyone's wedding because I get terribly depressed during and after them. I can only get the nerve to flirt with someone when I feel there is no chance of sex with them. When there's a person I do want to get intimate with, I freeze up, go into a shell. The thought of that person discovering my small penis stops me in my tracks.

I'm not one of those guys who THINKS they have a small penis but don't. I've been around enough to know that mine is decidedly below average. When flaccid, it doesn't even protrude, and when erect, it's 3 1/2 inches long at best.

GET HELP! PLEASE! Don't end up like me. I'm not suicidal, but deep inside I'm a very, very sad person even though I try to hide it. The years will pile up before you know it. I don't wish my lost soul even on my worst enemy.

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... I immediately felt too overwhelmed and gave up.

But Eric, doesn't that mean that you tried once, and maybe tried to do too much at once? It's not exactly the same as "too late", unless you decide it is. In fact, maybe declaring that it's "too late" is a way of avoiding trying ...

And you know, despite what some people seem to focus their arguments on, SPS isn't really about misjudging one's size. Maybe a few guys aren't as small as they think they are, but I would bet that most who have the full-blown syndrome are actually smaller than average. It's the automatic association of a value judgment about themselves that's the problem, in my (non-expert) opinion.

I'm fifty myself this year, and I've slept with only two women in my life (somehow, the phrase "having a woman" doesn't sound like it covers how I had to feel about them first ...) And that low number wasn't anything to do with size fears; just, maybe, life fears. In other words, people change, even if their body parts don't. They change their minds ...

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This "illness" is label dreamed up by the mental health folks to describe what they like to term as an "illusion" where nothing is really physically wrong with the patient. In cases where the complainant falls into the accepted average size of five to seven inches in length and around five inches in circumference, perhaps the label is correct.

The OP along with several more of the members of this board fall outside the group since we are all admittedly undersized.

Therefore, we don't really have a "syndrome" that can be made to disappear by looking the other way. However, it's no reason to deny yourself of physical pleasure for fear of disappointing a potential partner.

Since my divorce, I have enjoyed dating several women with much more success than I had over the twenty years lugging around my cheating ex wife.

The first thing you need do is take the approach that any sexual contact will be all about YOU. Should your partner not find enjoyment, then they are either doing something wrong, or they need to move on to find what they want.

Works for me.:cool:

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Eric, I'm sorry you are feeling so down and sad. Numbers don't reflect on who you are as a person. Numbers are a way of labeling and categorizing. Why not let the measurements go and allow yourself to simply be the person that you are? I know it isn't that easy, but challenging the feelings you have about this is one way to be proactive in trying to heal. I hope you will not give up.

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To quote notdoneyet, " In cases where the complainant falls into the accepted average size of five to seven inches in length and around five inches in circumference, perhaps the label is correct." Fully agree that this is sps and anything significantly below these measurements is not sps. I would say being under 4.5 inches in length or girth is the point where the problem starts. For those who are in this situation, the advice commonly given for those with sps is irrelevant. There has also been advice given on this forum by male assclowns who are average or above average that think they have the ability to help with this problem.

Notdoneyet has given the best advice in a while. This is something I am trying to work on. At 28, there may be hope for me to figure it out without having to pay. I do recommend seeing escorts for those of us who are nervous or not used to sex. It can help build confidence in dealing with regular women.

Eric, I understand where you are coming from and although I am younger, I can see myself getting in your situation when I'm older if I don't make changes. I would look into escorts if you can afford it a couple of times. I can't guarantee that at your age you will find someone desirable to you in terms of serious relationships but you may as well get laid a bit more while you have years left. If you find a well established escort, you can talk with them via email and even let them know about your size before you see them so there are no surprises.

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I feel your pain although I’m a bit younger, I often envision myself being a old hermit with anyone around because of my fear of people finding out I have a small penis. In my opinion man with small penises have to give up on the idea of healthy relationships, best we can get is someone “settling” for us and our small penis because they have issues themselves and don’t want to end up alone or some other unhealthy reason. I just immerse myself with work and try to avoid women as much as possible, I think that’s the best policy. Also in my opinion psychologist is useless for this condition because at the end of the day you still have a small penis and there is completely nothing you can do about it. I’m holding out hope for some sort of steam cells penis enlargement method coming out but by the time it does I think its going to be useless to me…Anyways I’m sure our is the last generation suffering from this debilitating handicap.

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