frazzled1 Posted March 25, 2012 Report Share Posted March 25, 2012 (edited) Okay so those of you who have read my blogs and other posts know or can tell (unless you don't care) that I have been a little wierd lately. I am suffering an obsessive episode. I know that I am going through this because I can feel what I feel. I am going to continue to post to this thread as a means of brainstorming not only for myself but for anyone here that might be helped by a step by step run down of the recovery process. Your comments are welcome.First of all my symptoms- I can't stop studying on a subject (psychology, cognition, sociology) I have to read and read and talk and talk and reason and reason about it. It has me feeling anxious and somehow in the dark about something. Like there is something I need to learn that I will not if I don't do it NOW! I stay up late reading or writing theorizing. And I wind up getting up early and getting right to it. I get irritated at things/people that distract me from it. And I have been smoking more.The trigger- Maybe that I have internalized because of great stress. Like a system overhaul or virus detection system. Perhaps I detected a problem or in reading something I recognized an update to optimize the system. Maybe it's just because it's spring. All things new and so forth... Also I have this theory about our troubles and triumphs having direct connection to those of the first year of our lives but I have faith in that theory so it is no longer an obsession. I can discuss that another time but for now I'm not sure but I think it's something like the system check/update thing.What I am doing about it- I am obsessing of course. I don't mean that to be funny, though it is, I mean I am fighting fire with fire. I am obsessing about obsessing. Pitting my conscious against my subconscious to cancel out the inconvenience. (Have you ever noticed that you can't talk about your psychological processes without sounding like a loon?) An obsession of this kind is like a hunger, an unidentifiable craving. The way I reason it out is that if you eat nothing because you aren't sure what you want then you starve. On the other hand, If you go ahead and take a nibble of everything you will find what you are looking for and even if you don't you will be full and not crave it again until you are hungry again.I seem calm and indeed my blood pressure is probably normal but this is because I know how to regulate. I cannot keep from obsessing (though I can do it on purpose), but I can count my breaths and I can consciously spell these words as I type keeping me from concentrating on the anxiety caused by my problem.This is all for now but I will be back with more until this has passed. Edited March 25, 2012 by frazzled1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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