Solstice Posted March 30, 2012 Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 I do not know what to do, and I am afraid that I'll convince myself that the only option is to do something bad to myself. I am married. I've spent 21 years with this person. I want to uphold my vows. But the relationship has become completely toxic. When I'm around him, I act like a child. Like a two-year-old. I feel like I can't stop myself. I feel crazy. He says he hates me. Has for years. He says I am the sole problem in the relationship now. I believe him.On the other hand...I'm in therapy. I describe our interactions to my therapist, and she tells me I am being abused by him. That he is playing games with me, and I am playing games with him because I was abused as a child and am being abused now and that's all I know. That if I get enough counseling, I will see how codependent I am and how abusive he is and I will divorce him and be right to do it.Am I that person? That abused woman who believes it's all her fault? Or is it really all my fault? The fact that I don't know scares me to death. I'm afraid that fear will take over and I will do something stupid. I don't know what to do. I wish someone could help, but I fear no one can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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