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How do I move on?


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Even though its been over 2 years that I have been separated from my ex and been divorced officially for over a year now, I just cant seem to forget him. Even though I feel a lot of anger when I think of 'what could have been had things been good for us', and I don't regret leaving him or getting divorced... yet, I cant seem to move on. I have begun to dislike all men as I feel women do much more than men and are much more sensitive and sensible than men. I dont like this change in me but I just can't seem to want to move on. I cannot think of any other man in my ex husband's place. I dont want to think 'marriage' again. My friends and parents keep trying to set me up with guys but I have just begun to dislike them all!

How do I move on? What can I do to forget him?

Mentally I still haven't accepted my divorce even though I know its over. How do I get over him and move on with my life in a positive direction?

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Do you have any support at home or someone to express your feelings to, SW? If you are feeling anger and resentment it could be helpful to talk about this. What about hobbies and other interests? Perhaps engaging in many different social activities would help take your mind off of things. I'm not sure I have any useful advice, but wanted to offer my support. Take care.

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no.. no one. I kinda feel numb and emotionless these days.

Social activities? I dont want to step out of the house at all.

But I have to... to get groceries, mom's medications and so on.

Mom is healing from cancer and........

I'm tired of writing this again and again. I just want to get over my ex... and move on in life.

Tell me a quick way of doing it.. please

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A "quick way"? Never think about him again.

Now that I've got the stupid answer out of the way ...

When someone is thinking obsessively about something, there's no way to tell them "just don't think about it", because they have to think about it in order to stop. You have to gradually give yourself other things to think about. You have to forgive yourself for the times you think about it anyway. You have to give yourself a different identity than "wife of X".

Of course, I may just not be sensitive or sensible enough. ;-)

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  • 2 weeks later...

There's a strange problem I'm facing. I don't know if its strange but maybe it is. I had a mother in law (now ex) whom I lived with.. who would abuse me verbally all the time.. find faults, criticize me for every little thing from my dressing sense to the color of my lipstick. I had put up with all this for 4 years of my marriage and then just couldn't take it anymore and snapped at her each time she would even attempt to criticize me. My husband never supported me in any way and later became alcoholic, smoker, tobacco and I suspect drugs too! When he started abusing me physically I walked out on him but... now its over and I'm divorced and I should be happy. But I'm not.

The strange problem I was talking about is this... If anyone I come across who even slightly tries to 'show' me how to do something or says they are right or I'm not doing something right, I blow my fuse. I just cant take it anymore. It reminds me of my nasty abusive ex-mother in law so I get furious and keep fuming for days together. All this is unhealthy but I don't know how to overcome it. How do I overcome this?

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  • 3 months later...

It's been a while since the last post, but I've just joined this community.

What i read between the lines (and i may be mistaken) is that you are very angry with your ex, and therefore all men. If there is any truth in that, I recommend that you find some way to deal with the anger. If you don't have a counselor/therapist, perhaps you have a friend that you trust who will sit with you while you express your anger to him. Or as the previous post suggested, write down how you feel. it could take the form of a letter to your ex, which you will probablt never send to him, so you can really say what you feel. My impression is that you certainly have plenty of reason to feel angry, but unless you can come to terms with it in some way, it will be difficult for you to move on.

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