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Completely out of control


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My entire life is out of control right now. I'm so stressed out and scared that I've been having panic attacks and have been missing alot of work. I'm supposed to be moving in a month and only have a month left at my current job anyways, but I wanted to be able to use this job for my resume. Now though I'm not sure if I can make it the rest of the month because I'm pretty sure that my job is what is causing my panic attacks. I'm too embarrassed and scared to tell my boss about it but I know that missing so much work looks bad too. I've been thinking about telling them I need to quit now due to medical reasons. I'm really not sure what to do about this job. My entire life is falling apart right now and I can't seem to function.

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Were you able to keep the appointment to talk with someone about medication last month? Do you think that you could talk to him or her about quitting your job now for medical reasons?

It sounds like a good idea to me but it also might help the overall situation for you to talk with the counselor again. Maybe, at least, they could back up your decision. I know the feeling of falling apart and not being able to function. It is horrible. And if we can’t function, we can’t function, same as if we had a raging fever and pneumonia or something.

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How to be able to function. That's something i want to know too.. First maybe to understand what exactly is wrong, then - apropriated treatmen plann. Yes, definitelly..!

But what if i don't know how i feel..? How can anybody else know that. All i know is that it's really bad, and.. too bad to open my mouth to talk. I get headache when i want or try to think, and i get so sick that i can't move.

Somehow solution is needed. Just "hang in there" brings me nowhere.

Any suggestions..?

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After 11 years of almost unrelenting misery, several horrible therapists, and 2 years now with someone who knows how to help – my opinion is that most professionals don’t know shit (pardon my language) about how to help people with deep-seated problems and feelings that have been cut off because it was too painful to feel them when we were young and vulnerable.

I don’t know if that’s your situation or not. All I know to do is say keep trying. Which you are obviously doing by posting this message.

Seems to me we need an (international) advocacy group for folks with moderate and chronic mental or emotional problems. But who in society can do that? Only those of us who have the chronic problems – and then we could only do that on the (few?) days when we were able to function.

My life is almost over and in many ways it has been a waste. If that continues to happen over and over again for more and more people then as a species we’re toast.

I got upset with one of the professional bloggers on this site yesterday and posted a comment. Maybe I sounded angry. I was. I know that’s not nice. But in his words I was screaming “Holy murder” as nicely as I could. In the world I grew up in if you screamed you would be ignored or hit. Nobody cared. That’s the sad, ugly truth inside of me. Pretty damned tough to take – impossible, really, for me until I did have some people in my life who cared. And I needed more than one therapist once a week.

And, MHN, if you don't like this comment or the way I am talking about it, please let me know. I'm still trying -- don't want to be a pain for others, though.

Edited by devil's daughter
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DD.., why don't you forget about your past experience with doctors, "professionals" lol. Be happy that you have found the right help after all.

And worrying doesn't help you, doesn't help others either. We can't change nothing about it, that there are many specialists out there who doesn't know how to help to some people.

I thought.. to take it easy and go slowly.. pff.. don't know

Edited by medlem
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Lea, I am sorry you have been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. I know those can be very stressful. :) Were you able to speak with your counselor about your struggles? I hope you were able to get some support in this.

It's always okay to express feelings as long as you are respectful, DD, and you have always been respectful. All of us feel anger from time to time. I'm listening and I hear you.

Medlem, might journaling help you to express your feelings?

Lea, please take care. I hope you are feeling better.

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