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Suffering from early childhood sexual encounters


throwaway1190
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Welcome to the community, ta.

I can understand your hesitancy to seek out a therapist. It isn't easy to open up and talk about such painful and personal things. Therapy is something I would recommend for your healing in this, though. It's great that you took a first step by reaching out here and expressing your feelings. I'm sorry you have been experiencing such pain from the events of your past. :( The fact that you are feeling debilitating physical pain on top of depression and anxiety must make things that much more difficult for you, especially when you have received no answers about a possible cause. Are you able to get any support from your girlfriend? I understand that she does not know about what happened in your past, but maybe she could offer you some comfort in this? Are family and friends supportive? Perhaps spending some time doing relaxing activities may help some with your anxiety. Meditation, reading, exercise, spending time outside in nature or anything that calms you could be beneficial. I hope that expressing yourself here is helpful to you. We are here to support you.

Take gentle care.

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From what you've shared so far, you'd be a good candidate for doing well with a therapist. You are already willing to look at how these symptoms might be psychosomatic. You are willing to look at your past. You express yourself well and are willing to keep persisting in hopes of things getting better.

Therapy can offer a relationship that has the potential for healing your relationship to you. Not all therapy relationships work out, and you have to sometimes move on and find another therapist, but when the connection is good enough, healing connections can really happen.

Can you share a little more why you do not want to try therapy?

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