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Trigger Warning SI Poem


texasgirl
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My suspicion is that people who are reading posts that say "Trigger Warning" are just the people that should not be reading poems like this. To be honest, if you thin it is an trigger in the first place, maybe it shoudn't be posted at all. It is the same as doing drugs while siting next to a recovering addict. Just a thought.

Texasgirl, I hope you are fine right now! Are you okay?

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Trigger warning is to let others know that it could "trigger" feelings of si in a person , who self injures, not necessarily for all people , put used as a precaution before reading such a post.

YES, please post how you feel. Many find it helpful to express ones feelings through poetry or creative writing.

Thank you for sharing.

SI, is a very personal matter for all that engage in the behavior. "SI" is not considered an addiction like A drug, because that is not what happens to a person who engages in the behavior. People can become more and more into relying on such behavior once it is done repetivively, because their is a endorphine release of chemicals that produces a Feel good resonse in the body. SI is a way to cope .

Edited by mscat
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  • 2 weeks later...

Katie,

You've taken the time and effort to post about not feeling good (I know that is an understatement). Now people are concerned about you, and are hoping that you will talk more about what is going on *now* that has provoked this latest SI talk. You've got people here who would like to know and that is not to gawk at you, but rather because they care and sympathize and want to help you feel better, to the extent they can.

It is the holidays which is often a very stressful time (as family is around). Could that be part of it? Has something more specific happened that you are willing to talk about?

Mark

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Texasgirl, I admire your take charge self. She is very sure of herself, and when she sets out to do something, I’ll bet she gets it done. I have one of those too. She is so determined to clean up all messes, confusions, disappointments, and basically end all suffering. Since she is so good, why is it that life becomes unlivable when she is all I’ve got left?

I had to find a way for her to take a rest. She means well, but she cannot be all there is in me.

I believe the same for you.

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Mark,

I asked you privately, if you would help me, remember that? For what ever reasons you said no,since then you are not the first therapist to reject me. How pathetic is it that you are so fucked up for even a therapist to stick it out and help you? Just a matter of time anyways.

Good bye.

Well, Texasgirl

I know for a fact that Mark and the rest of the so called professionals on here have to keep their distance from people like us. they can't offer any personal therapy advice, even in private emails. That is not what they do on here.

I am unsure if that is what your mad about, but I do believe that Mark was being genuine in his last post. He wants to be supportive and reach out, most of us do want that here. If we can find that in the help from others that is great.

I feel for you, and your struggles with self injury. i have them too, and am no stranger to SI.

Maybe you will come back after your not so upset. A little break is sometimes what we need to feel better. I truely wish you the best , and peace.

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It is precisely because I am a "so called professional" that I will not participate in private email consultations of a therapeutic nature. That would be doing therapy or something close to that edge and I am not in a position to do therapy here or through email. Therapy has to be done with local professionals you are able to work with face to face, IMHO. At least that is the case when the issues people are dealing with are as severe and frightening as self-injury and suicide.

What I'm trying to do here is to help the people who want to be here help each other. As I'm able to participate, I do, but I'm participating as a sort of general advice-giver and referee; not as someone's personal doctor. I have a role to play here in keeping boundaries on the community, however imperfectly.

I know that I've disappointed you. I'm sorry about that. I've disappointed quite a few people here at the site who have asked to correspond privately with me. I just don't do that, I think for good reasons, but I know it is disappointing and hurtful every time.

Anyway, it's not about me. It's about people trying to help each other; in this case trying to help you. I'm not the only person who was expressing concern. Lots of others were expressing concern as well. Even if you are angry at me, maybe you can let the other people here who have written know that you are safe, at least for the moment. People here are concerned about you.

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"Therapy has to be done with local professionals you are able to work with face to face, IMHO. At least that is the case when the issues people are dealing with are as severe and frightening as self-injury and suicide".

I AM BEING REJECTED BY LOCAL THERAPISTS, I'M TO SCREWED UP FOR ANY OF THEM TO WANT TO MESS WITH ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW MUCH MORE FUCKING PLAIN TO I NEED TO BE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT ????????????

MARK YOU CAN'T HELP ME FINE, STORY OF MY LIFE. I'M NOT ANGRY WITH YOU.

I'M SO DAM FRUSTRATED WITH EVERYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M DONE TALKING, DOES NO GOOD.

GOOD BYE !

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Katie,

If you are being rejected by local therapists, it would be (hopefully) because they are not set up to offer you a therapy that suits the severity of your difficulties. IMHO, dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) will be one of the better sorts of therapies to look for, given your self-injury and suicidal thinking problems. DBT is available in Texas. I did a search in Google just now and a variety of therapists and hospitals/clinics come up.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=dbt+therapy+referral+texas&btnG=Search

Some are in Austin; are you anywhere near there? I know Texas is Gigantic and you may not be anywhere near where these resources are located, but it is worth a hard look to try to find something/someone you can access. You really need a local therapist who can help you, and you need something like DBT which has been designed to help people who self-injure to develop healthier alternatives to self-harm. No therapy is perfect and there is no such thing as a "cure" (or if there is, it doesn't come quickly). However, there really is help out there (when you are in a position to access it), and there really is the possibility of feeling better than you do now.

mscat - no offence taken at all. Sometimes I do feel like a "so called professional". It's very hard to sit by and not be able to help someone who is in pain. I try to do the best that I can do, given the limitations I'm operating under, and hope that it is helpful.

Mark

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest ASchwartz

Texasgirl and all,

First, I want to express my sorrow for your loss even though it is of a brother who was abusive. Sometimes those can be the hardest losses of all, believe it or not.

Speaking for myself and, I suspect Mark, we hit up against our limitations all the time, even when working with patients or clients in private practice. Offering support and information on a web site like this one further reminds us of our limitations.

My hope is that Texasgirl and others will find the right therapist. It sometimes takes a lot of effort but there are always people out there who are willing and able and its a matter of being persistent.

Sources of referrals are sometimes from: family doctors, friends, Catholic Charities, National Association of Social Workers, local chapter for your state, American Psychological Association for your state, Ministers, Priests and Rabbis, Internet, go to the magazine (it on the Internet) Psychology Today. They have a list of therapists for each state, etc.

It is always possible to go to the local hospital emergency room, check in, an ask for help.

Allan

Edited by ASchwartz
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  • 2 weeks later...

Katie,

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm always sorry to hear that you are in pain. Please take care of yourself as best you can.

What we are able to do online here is to offer a place to talk. If you want to talk or problem solve or something of that nature, I will respond, as will other people here who can relate to your struggles.

Mark

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  • 3 weeks later...
Katie,

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm always sorry to hear that you are in pain. Please take care of yourself as best you can.

What we are able to do online here is to offer a place to talk. If you want to talk or problem solve or something of that nature, I will respond, as will other people here who can relate to your struggles.

Mark

i just want to die

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texasgirl....

I have just read through ur post, and i am truly sorry of the pain, and torment u suffer, and of ur recent loss, wotever the circumstance of which has triggering effects on our mental health and well being. Can u talk to ur own GP about these feelings u r havin? The support like so many people have said on previous posts is always here, just writing ur feelings and emotions down can sometimes soften the turmoil u feel inside tho from one who understands is no way enough to take away si/suicidal thoughts, but just to let u know people care about wot is happening for u, and hope u continue to post about where u r at and how ur feeling...

U take good care

Jo

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