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This is the State Mental Hospital... thankyou for calling..


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This is the State Mental Hospital...thank you for calling

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.... ..

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the

line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the

Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell

you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,

nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the

beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term

memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy

to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie

down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Hope I did not offend anyone ( exspecially the blondes:)) but I thought this was hillarious.... Have you called the hospital lately??/ Not too far from the truth...


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Guest ASchwartz

Hi JT and all,

That is very funny. And I agree about laughing. Do you know (everyone) that the ability to laugh at one's self is a good sign of mental health?

Of course, we all have the experience of calling a place and getting instructions about what buttons to push that leads to nowhere except another button to push. It's enough to make me.......well, I'd better not say:D:D:D


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