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I need Christian guidance too


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I'm 37 years old and I am an X convict down twice. An X drug addict and alcoholic. I gave my life to Jesus when I was a little boy and I have wavered back and forth ever since. I'm a graduate of Teen Challenge and I've studied the Bible. My problem is I feel alone in this world! I have a wife and three kids, yet when I'm home I feel like a starnger and alone. Where ever and who ever I'm with I often feel this way. I feel unable to relate to others and I get so depressed I want to die or go back to my old ways. I struggle with pornography and anger. I feel helpless and Hopeless. Can God reaaly be with me as the Bible says and still love me? I cant let my true self out,if I

even know who I am! Help me someone!!!!!

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First of all, welcome. Since you read the Bible you already know that God accepts us as we are. We are all made in His image BUT we are wholly human which means, by definition, we are flawed. There lies the wrinkle- if God created us, flawed as we are, then how can we possibly be worthy of His love? The simple answer is "we are not worthy!" That is why God's gift of love and salvation are considered gifts- we cannot earn them, try as we might! Although we are flawed by nature, God also gave us free will which means we, and we alone, are capable of making the decisions for our lives and are ultimately responsible for those decisions. So, if one of your flaws is a predilection toward unGodly behaviors (i.e. pornography, drugs and anger), then each and every day you have a choice to make. To give in to the unGodly desires of our flesh, or instead to choose to live a Godly life. Notice I did not say perfect life as we both know that there is no such thing! This is where prayer and aligning yourself with other Christians becomes important. With prayer, you can borrow God's strength to resist the temptations that Satan lays before you each day. With Christian friends in your corner, you have someone to lean on for support, advice and accountability.

Now, having said all of this, I feel I must confess I am in the middle of a major depressive episode/cycle right now. In fact, in therapy just this morning, my therapist expressed genuine concern over my state of mind. So, I understand that, even as a Christian, it is still possible to struggle with our thought process and our emotions. Of course, our thought process is often colored by our depression. Many of the thoughts/feelings you've described (hopelessness, helplessness, alone, unable to relate) are key symptoms of depression which leads me to believe it is not YOU who feels this way but your illness.

The hardest part of being a Christian who struggles with depression is first accepting that it does not mean you have failed as a Christian (anymore than a diabetic has failed as a Christian because of his illness) and then finding a balance for your self.

Are you involved in a church? Is there a pastor or someone there you can talk to? Spiritual support and guidance are imperative in your situation. Are you see a doctor or therapist right now?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Starcher,

Welcome to our community and I hope you find lots of support here.

Can you tell us a little more about yourself and your childhood? I am wondering what happened to you that you feel alone even when you are with your family? When did you first start feeling alone? How old were you? Is this aloneness your equivalent of depression or something else?

If you can and want to answer the questions to help us better understand you so that we can give support.


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