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themike
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Hi to everyone:

First, I´m from Spain, so sorry for the gramatical errors.

I´m 26 years old. I have no idea where write my situation:

I suppose to have depression since 16 years old. With a destructive family and father with mental disorders. My father has abuse me psichologically and no one from my family helped me. I have an older brother (policeman) and i live with my mother.

I have also Small Penis Syndrome. I have no testosterone during the puberty and my penis is also a little small for that reason. I have so many complex.

I try in my Health Service to have medical treatment. The Psichologist heard all the history and then she said "ok, the change is in your hand". No more advice. My second visit is two months later but I know that this therapy can´t help me.

Now, really I want to change. I want to live a litlle and to obtain some happines, but I can´t. I cry twice the days...

I only study and i´m doing sports to stop thinking always the same.

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Hello, themike, welcome!

I think it's very good that you're so determinated to get better and that you also decided to to see a psychologist. I'm sorry she sounds not very helpful, but... after the first session, it's hard to say how her approach will be and if it will help you or not. In any case, it's sad that you have sessions in such a low frequency - can't anything be done about it? Couldn't you find a psychotherapist who'd see you once a week (at least)? That would seem more helpful to me. But in the meantime, you can give this psychologist a chance and try to benefit from her help. I see you're disappointed by not receiving advises, but therapy in general (perhaps except for cognitive-behavioural or some other) doesn't include advises (only in some "special" situations). But to be able to work with her well, you should ask her about the way she works, how she intends to help you, what you can expect and what she expects from you. This questions should have been posed and answered in the first session, but it's not too late, of course, to ask next time. If you're particularly dissatisfied with the answers, you may look for another psychologist - there are many different types of therapy and at least one would surely be good for you (not to mention that the therapist as a person should be "a good fit" for you).

I know it's very difficult to change, but I also know there are many people who succeeded (with or without therapy!). With your motivation, I bet your chances are high :).

I'm sorry I can't write more (due to time, mainly)... But you could write more about yourself - for instance the way how you feel to be influenced by your childhood, or what problems you experience in particular, ... or anything you'd feel a need to write about.

Good luck and take care! :)

P.S.: I'm also sorry for the technical problems you had with this website - I hope now everything will work properly!

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Hi LaLa, thanks for the reply.

I can´t go to another psychologist. The Health Service gime me one and it´s impossible to change. And I can´t afford a private.

Fortunately, I am not at the worst moment in my depression. I have energy and motivation. I was very sad in the past: crying and the whole day in my room.

It´s interesting, I must wait two months. I suppose the Spanish crisis it´s the reason. But I think about the result if I where psichologically destroyed and the two months of waiting with the "change is in your hands"

I´m addicted to Internet betting. I have tell the therapist. She gave me no advice, so I decide to auto-ban me from the Internet Betting pages. This time, I think I must exit alone from all my problems.

So, at the moment, I focus on my job exam and my health (losing weigth). With my past, I suppose it´s no answer that can satisfy me. A german writer said "Shit happens", and I think I can only continue with my life. Now, my father is far away and he´s triying to contact me but I close all the doors.

I have no contact with any member of my family, but that´s since I was a child so no problem. Only with my mother. I can´t explain how she tolerate that my father abuse me, but she was also her victim. No more explains about this. That was the destructive order in my family, so know, forget about my past and look to the future.

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