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Years have past while I was searching for a society/forums/community, so I can speak about my highly personal tears during the day and night.

first I am 19 years old, but before the famous reaction of "you're young and life ahead stuff" PLEASE people, my brain is old; I am extremely realist and know how life really is.

maybe its easy there around you but not where I live; you won't imagine how everything is pain in the back here in a third world country; people are barbaric, air is contaminated and future not bright.

Not sure of its authenticity but in a third world country penises are BIG not normally or within the ranges, really BIG.

I came in contact with that with my first and only boyfriend or BRO or I don't know; I was only 10/11 years old and he was of the same age; however the first time I saw his part, something in me cried.

I don't remember how I felt but I remember a question in my mind erupted inside me during this time: WHY?! why life? why god? why ma/dad?

I returned home later and looked to myself in the mirror and punched it crying. I had a kind of sexual contact with every classmate at that time and realized that I am the smallest down there.

the weirdest fact, actually ironic, is that I KNOW now about puberty and how different can two be in its stages despite similarity in age; I know the average size and so on; I know SO MUCH.

what do you expect? for 8 years I am collecting info so I can stop crying; even though I know my penis size is above average; I couldn't stop crying and looking down to myself.

could have porn really ruined me? I don't know but I watched lots of porn around 14 terabytes of them; I watched so much that I know almost all of their tricks and stereotypes; STILL I can't stop looking down to myself.

I hate my body. I detest it; I never been good with girls generally; I never had a girlfriend; even though lots of girls had hit on me; my instant response is ditching them by acting cold and blunt; they don't know that the gigantic body they see is not as it seems; they don't know that my actual response is crying and that my bluntness is to let them hang with real men.

by the way, yeah I tried to commit suicide more than once actually; I don't worth being alive anyway; I used to self-harm too.

I later realized that suicide is not a solution; so I decided to keep living but I will never have sex and I will never spread my genes; if I did by accident I would kill myself and the baby; no one shall carry my worthless genes NOT even half of it.

I feel like my brain snapped telling me: "you're trapped, you worthless pile of shit; there is no way to make your thing bigger and your genes fucks your metabolism even more, JUST live lonely and die cold"

I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, may I go to my bed and never wake up again. something in me made me post this tho!

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I decided to keep living but I will never have sex and I will never spread my genes; if I did by accident I would kill myself and the baby

That's a bunch of BS to start with. Genes are usually passed down by the mother.

in a third world country penises are BIG not normally or within the ranges, really BIG.

Not sure what "third world" country you're talking about but I seriously doubt they're all big, really BIG.

even though I know my penis size is above average

So the problem is not your penis but your head. Welcome to the club. You'll fit in well here.

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That's a bunch of BS to start with. Genes are usually passed down by the mother.

UMMM GENETICS 101: your genetic make up is EXACTLY 50/50.

Not sure what "third world" country you're talking about but I seriously doubt they're all big, really BIG.

STUDIES HAVE SHOWN SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCES

So the problem is not your penis but your head. Welcome to the club. You'll fit in well here.

YES THE PROBLEM IS IN HIS HEAD- AS A DIRECT RESULT OF A PHYSICAL REALITY

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my penis is 7 inches in length 5 inches in girth; and it looks SO SMALL on me; its like I have a body dismorphic disorder; I just don't know what to do

If I assume you are not taking the piss out of us then I can assure you that your size is fine.

You are average in girth and above average length. You have what many women consider to be ideal length.

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Guest EmptyShell

then why can't I stop despising myself? why can't I look to the mirror and feel fine?

Because the problem IS in your head. You need to STOP watching porn, go to some of these "third world countries" and see for yourself that they are NOT all "Big, really big", South East Asia comes to mind (not ALL black men are huge either), and on your return I suggest some serious psychotherapy with someone experienced with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. At "7 inches in length 5 inches in girth" you are ABOVE average, I can't even imagine what a penis that big feels like! I have BDD and have suffered from it for a VERY long time. It can be caused by any PERCEIVED imperfection. BDD isn't curable as far as I know but it is manageable and you can retrain your mind to see the truth behind where these thoughts come from, stop them and change them to thoughts that are more supportive and not so negative and destructive.

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UMMM GENETICS 101: your genetic make up is EXACTLY 50/50.

Not sure what "third world" country you're talking about but I seriously doubt they're all big, really BIG.

I don't think so.

STUDIES HAVE SHOWN SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCES

What studies?

YES THE PROBLEM IS IN HIS HEAD- AS A DIRECT RESULT OF A PHYSICAL REALITY

umm no.

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Guest EmptyShell

how can I end this suffering?

By getting psychological help from somebody that treats Body Dysmorphic Disorder and uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. That's the only treatment that works for perceptual abnormalities.

glennj, I'm sorry but I don't agree with your statement of men of any size can suffer from SPS. That's like saying that a guy 6' 4" suffers from Napolion Syndrome or Small Man Syndrome. Small penis is a physical fact where as an above average size penis can be perceived as small by the owner but is in fact it is not small. Perception is a Dysmorphic disorder. Small Penis is a physical disorder. One is imaginary the other is not.

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glennj, I'm sorry but I don't agree with your statement of men of any size can suffer from SPS. That's like saying that a guy 6' 4" suffers from Napolion Syndrome or Small Man Syndrome. Small penis is a physical fact where as an above average size penis can be perceived as small by the owner but is in fact it is not small. Perception is a Dysmorphic disorder. Small Penis is a physical disorder. One is imaginary the other is not.

Small-penis syndrome is the anxiety of thinking one's penis is too small -- even though it isn't. It's a totally different condition from having a truly tiny tinkler, a condition known by the cold, clinical name of micropenis. Urologists Kevan R. Wylie of Royal Hallemshire Hospital and Ian Eardley of St. James Hospital in Leeds, England, review the literature on penis size in the June issue of the urology journal BJU International. They urge doctors not to laugh away these very real worries over an imaginary defect.

"It is very common for men to worry about the size of their penis," Wylie says in a news release. "It is important that these concerns aren't dismissed as this can heighten concerns and anxieties."

-----------------------------------------

Small Penis Syndrome (SPS) is a type of psychological disorder where the male affected has excessive concern and a preoccupation that his penis is small when actually they have a medically normal, average sized penis (5″-6.5″ erect length, 4″-5″ girth). SPS isn’t the official term used in the DSM-V that is used to diagnose psychiatric/psychological illnesses of this sort, it is a term more commonly used on the internet. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is the proper term, but has a much broader definition that includes actual body defects rather than just perceived ones, which is the case in Small Penis Syndrome.

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I never said anything about laughing away anything! I urged him to get psychological help for his perception problem. He does not have an actual size problem. I am well aware that body Dysmorphic disorder includes actual physical defects BUT they are perceived by the person as being MUCH worse than they actuall are. BDD is ALL about PERCEPTION of a SLIGHT physical defect or an imagined one.

OK, if SPS is an excessive concern and preoccupation by a person that has a medically normal, average sized penis, where exactly does that leave us who are statistically below average with penises SMALLER than 5" but too large to be classed as a micropenis? Are we too small to be considered SPS and too large to have any concern or worry? We don't count because we are too small to fit that definition and too large to be considered as having a real problem? I know that SPS is not an official diagnosis.

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OK, if SPS is an excessive concern and preoccupation by a person that has a medically normal, average sized penis, where exactly does that leave us who are statistically below average with penises SMALLER than 5" but too large to be classed as a micropenis? Are we too small to be considered SPS and too large to have any concern or worry? We don't count because we are too small to fit that definition and too large to be considered as having a real problem? I know that SPS is not an official diagnosis.

let's not get into numbers. that said, a person who has a penis that's smaller than "average" -but not small enough to be classified as a micropenis- does have a legitimate physical problem, in addition to any resulting psychological issues.

usually around here they refer to it as sp -(actual) small penis- as opposed to sps -small penis syndrome (perceived small penis)- which is mostly in the mind.

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where exactly does that leave us who are statistically below average with penises SMALLER than 5" but too large to be classed as a micropenis? Are we too small to be considered SPS and too large to have any concern or worry? We don't count because we are too small to fit that definition and too large to be considered as having a real problem? I know that SPS is not an official diagnosis.

I'm not sure. I think it applies to men of all sizes. The overarching psychological problems are the same regardless of size and the treatment would be the same pretty much.

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