Do people take advantage just because they can?

[Proverbs31:28]

Something happened Wednesday that had me so angry, upset, frustrated, aggravated. I was so furious I literally wanted to draw blood from someone. I wanted to scream and hit and punch and hurt someone. Of course, I knew I am the only one I would ever cause physical harm to so all these thoughts swirled around in my head while I hated and fixated on those who had, once again, taken advantage of me and brought harm to my property. Of course, they deny any fault whatsoever, but there is NO other explanation and it has happened before. So, I stewed, and I cut, and I cried, and I cursed myself for allowing people to constantly walk all over me. Then it dawned on me: the reason people walk all over me is because they know I won't do anything to stop them. Especially those I trust and rely on. They know I am vulnerable. They know I will back down. They know I avoid confrontation at all costs so they know they can do whatever they want.

Am I just being cynical or is that how people work? Do they take advantage and treat people as disposable just because they can?

[paula]

Hi Proverbs31:28

I hated and fixated on those who had, once again, taken advantage of me and brought harm to my property. Of course, they deny any fault whatsoever

You will find that in this world today, there is a lot of people taking advantage of innocent people and it's not just the vulnerable, but a bigger percent of society, that feels that they are in some way being taken advantage of, which go on living with these advantages as they don't know if/or of any which way to turn without being terrified that their life might not be worth living, if they were to seek or do anything legal that might put their every day living in jeopardy!

This has affected me extremely and has contributed to the way that I am, in my every day living!

I think this has got a lot to do with the way the world is being governed and ruled at present and the amount of fighting that is going on that clearly indicates what a mess our world is living in, today. I think this has a considerably amount of effect on these people in the society that are showing this way of living and have no respect for the people that are living in this generation,and cause much of the fright and concern that people often show, that contributes to the style of living that different generations have lived in, in this world today?

I blame a lot on the way the Law is being presented, which is allowing for these advantages to be taken of the vunerable and needy and that If they brought back some of the old Law's and their right's, people would think twice about committing an offense, and the world would be a better and safer place to live in!

I know this has got nothing to do with the Law in general and is to do with the way people are brought up or are easily led into, but we never had any of this in past generation's which our parent's or grandparent's was brought up with, and if they had, it was virtually unheard of?

Whatever happened to everyone helping one another in these situation's? The world is getting a bad place to live in by the minute!

There was no such prison's and jail's that was filled to almost capacity, as there is today! People would think twice about committing such offenses, if any at all?

There is a lot that I could add to this subject, but feel that I must give this opportunity to the member's and visitor's that view this site regular!

[kaudio]

Hi Proverbs, sorry to hear of your bad experience. I am not sure of the circumstances, but whatever happened must have been very upsetting. Are you injured? Do remember to treat your cuts even if they are not serious.

As for how people work, there are those who will take advantage of others as you describe. However, there are many others who do treat people with respect. So, if you recognize that you are being taken advantage of by particular persons, it is best to tell them of your concern, and to make arrangements to minimize your dealings with them.

[Dazed]

Hi Proverbs,

that must have been a tough ordeal for you but I want to congratulate you for acknowledging that feeling and for the restraint you showed.

Like what paula said, you will find people like these from all walks of life and the worse thing is, some of them are not even aware that they are in some way causing others harm or pain. For them, they as long as you agreed, then all is fine. But there are those who conciously do it for the sake of convenience, these are people who you cannot expect to change and sadly, some of them are indeed close friends and loved ones.

I've been through the same doormat experience where people 'use' me for something and forget about 'thank you' or at least being sensitive. I used to avoid confrontations myself but there came a point when I just couldn't take it any more.

I knew I had to assert myself because these people obviously were asserting more than themselves so I did the same. All it took was a simple 'no' from me; a simple setting of limits really helped. I found out that I was too afraid that I would be rejected by people if I were to assert myself or that they may like me less but what I learned is, nothing changed. My relationships even got better because now, they learned how to respect me as an individual. I also learned that there are some favors that can work for you and all you have to ask if it's OK and don't ever forget to say 'thank you'.

There are those who suddenly did not talk to me when I started saying 'no' to favors and from what I learned from others, these people are manipulative and are being shunned by others as well (especially those who knew that they were taking advantage of others). They would pretend to be good friends but they need something from you and as soon as you refuse, they make you feel like a hostage because they would suddenly dissapear and even say some things that are not nice but hey, I don't care now, I've got REAL friends.

If you don't want people to trample over you, you've got to show them that you have dignity and that you respect yourself and that you demand no less when people are to approach you. And, don't forget, it doesn't hurt to say NO. It's OK to say 'no' to the good for you to say 'yes' to the best.

I hope this helps and Happy new year!

[paula]

Hi Dazed

I totally agree with every word you have said! I think that you have given sound advice, but this isn't about me here?

I just hope Proverbs can have the courage to say no, and play them at their own game?

Brilliant advise!