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Studying, college, frustration


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So here I am, third year of me trying in college, fact is I am going to fail this year.

Good thing is that i stay all the way til the end of 2 semesters, first two colleges i left immidiately in 1 semester.

Bad thing is that i passed only 2 subjects from 11. So I have to try again these other subject, i have chance this week, then next one is in January.

That's is how college function in southeast europe.

I'm so ashamed i have to tell my family about it. What a failure I am.

After these exams i have this week i must change my habits:

No more staying late, wake up at 8am every morning

Studying everyday for atleast 3 hours.

Working out

Meditating

Reading fiction/nonfiction

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

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Guest ChinaDoll

I feel you, W. College can be so hard.

After these exams i have this week i must change my habits:

No more staying late, wake up at 8am every morning

Studying everyday for atleast 3 hours.

Working out

Meditating

Reading fiction/nonfiction

I think you know what you need to do. I hope you find the strength to do it.

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I can sum my college life with this quote

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality." - John W. Gardner

Right now I'm in failing binge, I didn't go to exam today.

First day in last 10 i got proper sleep.

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Guest ChinaDoll

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality." - John W. Gardner

I agree

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Study hard. Don't go to parties. Think about your future.

I don't like parties. Biggest obstacle in studying is internet, i'm kinda addicted to it. So I procrastinate with everything, doing it at last moment.

i disagree.

explain

I should find some therapy next month! I think i can't go in life without it, i must improve!!

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1- I thought Philosophy did. 2- Animals get depressed too... (but I'm not knowledgeable in the area)

1- yes, intelligence is what separates us from animals etc., and self pity is an essential result of that intelligence.

2- i've heard about animal depression too, and although i'm no expert in that area either, i can still assure you it's not because they pity themselves, etc.. animals can't have existential depression, or self image issues, and so on.

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I'm feeling better now. I think/feel this will even be a good thing after all.

Or is just my crazy mood swings i'm having.

I'm also quiting cigarettes. They can be pleasure but my mental health and money are far more important now. It will be much easier to stay away from cigarettes when i get wellbutrin.

Damn i want to feel combination of wellbutrin and meditation, how it will affect my brain.

I have already been doing bodyweight exercises for 5, 6 months, but it ain't enough. Also i will continue going to swimming once a week.

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I just have read some article on AD(H)D. I definetly don't have it.

So my underachievment is only because of my laziness and depression.

I'm type of person who will all day think about what i have to do, i think about being productive, i really want to be productive, but when i wake up, things start to go in the wrong way. As minutes and hours pass feelings of guilt and shame arise and i become more unable to do what is right.

So i compensate for it, i do my workout, i do some of my hobbies, read some article i bookmarked, make myself some nice meal, but never that thing which is MOST IMPORTANT- TO FUCKING GO STUDYING!

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