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Depression, Guilt & Regret

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When I was in primary school, I had never come to know any serious sadness. Looking back now and even then, my life felt like a Utopia - most of which I probably just made up in my mind. Of course I was extremely quiet and loved isolation - my parents recall that I would worry incessantly about the smallest things & that they would often find sitting alone in the dark.

It was around the age of 12 or 13 that I began to experience guilt & regret. And here's the thing. It's like the guilt and regret is intrinsic to my essence - and occurs in me abundantly & independently of actual life events, and latch on to anything to make me extremely sad. If I were to address a situation that I am feeling guilty about - the guilt would simply attach itself to something else. It never goes away. Just moves from place to place.

 

I didn't mean to pick on guilt, I worry, stress, and regret things that in actuality might be trivial, although some I admit are substantial. I can't escape from these feelings. I am DROWNING in every waking moment.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope? 

 

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Hey Small sorry you experience these negative emotions.  

My story is similar but w anxiety.  So many bizarre and unexpected traumas have come my way that I fear what next one may hiding along my path waiting to ambush me.  

The only thing that helps a little is for me to orient myself to the near future to take my mind off the past and help me to feel prepared.  

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The key for me with anxiety seems to be in having faith in myself and my ability to cope with the potential outcomes. Still a work in progress.

Small, do you feel anxious while this is happening or is it more about sadness? How is your self talk? Are you able to be compassionate with yourself and treat yourself as you would a friend?

Have you tried sitting with the feelings and caring for yourself through them? Guilt, sadness, pain can be uncomfortable to feel and I think it's common for any of us to try to fight these feelings or avoid them. I don't know if that may be what is happening for you or not. I have found that allowing my feelings to flow-- without fighting them-- can be helpful, especially during feelings of grief, but in my case there was a specific event that was bringing up a strong response for me. You mention that this feels intrinsic to your essence. Could there possibly be any trauma around this?

Just some questions that come to mind. I don't know if any of this fits for you or not, but I'm glad you reached out. I hope you also feel positive feelings at times.

Peaceful wishes.

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23 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

The only thing that helps a little is for me to orient myself to the near future to take my mind off the past and help me to feel prepared.  

Thanks Victim. Sounds like some constructive advice.

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