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idk if i have bipolar disorder. however, i have taken tests and have talked to people that are bipolar, and they said there is a strong chance. i go from being super energetic and fun, wanting to get everything done. then i go to sleeping and not having any energy to get out of bed. i feel so tired and weak and i can barely think and do literally anything. sometimes i get so bad to where i punch things, i scream so loud, i cry very hard, i scratch all over my body. it seems like im possessed when im like that. its all so confusing, and idk how to cope and how to deal with it. i just need advice and maybe even friends to talk to. 

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Hi vhejn,  welcome to the forum. Sounds very distressing, I don't know much about bipolar but you mention that you have taken tests, what sort of tests were they? Do you feel like you can seek medical advice?

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Hello, vhejn, welcome! :) 

It sounds overwhelming :( ...  And it sounds like bipolar to me, too. 

I wonder why you haven't yet seen a psychiatrist - what seems to be the problem? The only way to really understand what's happening to you as well as to get better is to see a good, competent professional which you can trust (= it might take several attempts; it's good to search for someone better in case you really don't like or distrust a doctor, but I hope it won't be the case for you). I would start with a psychiatrist and then, after discussing treatment options (which would very probably include medication), look also for a psychotherapist.

I haven't had bipolar disease and I don't remember any of our currently active members having it, so if you're looking specifically for people with this diagnosis, I would recommend trying also other forums - for instance: https://forums.psychcentral.com/bipolar/

Good luck! 

"P.S.": I don't know if it would help, but you may consider some documentaries about BPD, for instance:

https://topdocumentaryfilms.com/stephen-fry-the-secret-life-of-the-manic-depressive/

https://topdocumentaryfilms.com/up-down-bipolar-living/

 

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well i am still living with my parents , and i dont think they will take it seriously. they never have even with my suicide attempt a couple years back. when i move out im definitely seeing one. but i just looked up "bipolar screen test" and took a bunch.

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Oh, it's so terrible and annoying when parents don't take mental problems of their child seriously!  Well, they have probably some stupid prejudices - either about mental health in general or about "their unique kid who just cannot have this kind of problems" (because they would then be perceived as failed parents or because they are just blind to the needs of their kid), or all of them (= the prejudices). :( 

But this shouldn't stop you. Why would you suffer even longer, why would you let the illness (whatever kind of illness it is!) to spoil your young years, some of your relationships, perhaps even influencing your education and / or career? Moreover, bipolar disorder (as some other-ones, too) can get worse in time when untreated. I know a person who went from bipolar 2 to BP 1 (have a look, later: https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-1-vs-bipolar-2) because of misdiagnoses, thus inadequate treatment.

Let's try to find some options for you. Do you currently study? If yes, the school should have a counselor / psychologist for students - that would be a place to go (even without the approval of your parents). Do you have a GP / family doctor? If yes, then you can start there, no need to ask your parents for permission.

You can also try to talk to them (or write them a letter/text about your symptoms etc.) despite your supposition that they will dismiss the problem - perhaps this time, they'll listen (perhaps at least if you mention that you're at risk of a new suicide attempt). Or, once you have some official diagnosis (or recommendation for treatment / seeing a doctor from a counselor), then they'll have to listen and provide access (=money?) to healthcare.

In the meantime, you can start by taking better care of yourself, so that you would avoid at least some of the possible crises. Here are some tips - and it wouldn't be bad if you followed them even in case you don't have bipolar:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-small-steps-you-can-take-today-to-improve-bipolar-disorder/

https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-diet-foods-to-avoid#1-3

https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/foods-for-mania-and-depression

http://www.ibpf.org/blog/how-food-changed-bipolar-disorder-me

 

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my school has counselors i can go to, they also have a therapist (however you need parents permission and to pay). when the school year starts again most likely ill talk to my counselor again.

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Thanks for the information! I'm glad there are at least the counselors for free. I hope they can help you to persuade your parents that you'd really benefit from therapy!

Good luck and keep posting, if you feel like it! :) 

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This sounds like a hallucination, doesn't it? One more reason not to postpone seeing a psychiatrist. :(

Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with the so called "healthcare" system in the US (where you live, I suppose), so I cannot give you any practical advise, but you could try to find info about getting professional help (without your parents' implication) yourself.

There is also still the possibility to talk to your parents. I have no idea how successful that might be, but perhaps you can at least try it...

Do you still feel under some threat? Is there something you can do to feel safer, at least at the moment? Being around people you like or being alone in your room, doing something you like (listening to music, ...)? 

We're here is you have more to share...

Edited by LaLa

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7 hours ago, vhejn said:

update: i saw something come for me and i feel like im gonna be attacked. everyone said nothing was there and im fine but i dont feel like it

 

Must have been frightening, these experiences can be. Is this the first time this has happened? A tip that may help is trying to minimise and ridicule what you saw, give it a silly name on a piece of paper and scribble/erase it out and throw the paper in the bin. Not a substitute for medical advice I know, just something you could do in the meantime.

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thank you so much, when i get insurance (hopefully) im gonna talk to my mom more about it. ive had these for a long time, ever since i was a kid but the older and older i get the worse tey have gotten. thank you so much for the advice :))

 

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You're welcome! :) I'm very glad to hear that you're motivated to get help! In the meantime, you may keep "chatting" with us here; I believe some continuous or occasional (-as you prefer) support can be useful. 

Would you like to share more about your past? Or do you prefer focusing on the present? (You can do both, of course ;) )

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well my parents arent great, so i feel like i dont have much. but like i have friends and a boyfriend who makes sure im okay. but like idk i feel alone a lot 

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So, it seems you feel lonely despite not being (often) alone, do I get it right?

I wonder if you can find some useful hints in articles like these (you can at least give it a try ;) ) :

https://www.psychalive.org/isolation-and-loneliness/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/wander-woman/201301/you-could-be-lonely-even-if-you-have-friends

http://www.webofloneliness.com/types-of-loneliness.html

 

Edited by LaLa

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