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manic?

wow i have NOT been able to control my need to be creative!!! i go to micheals and buy just stuff so i can come home and "make something". But by the time im home, im in the mood to write or read. So i get a book. that doesnt d o it so i get my sketch books out. geez i tire myself out talking about this. does anybody else experience this? It would be really nice to know if somebody does, that way i wont feel so weird. thanks for reading!! fraggie

fraggie

fraggie

let today begin

well, today has begun and so far its been ok mentally. I get leary when things go so good lol. heck i even cleaned the house for the first time in a long time. but i wll crash sometime in hte near future. hubby gave me money for gas *and we live paycheck to paycheck* and i cannot believe it but i went and got a tattoo!!!!!!!!! how dumb could i be??? he was NOT happy with me. now one of our cars has to sit out of gas coz i was feeling so good and just blew the gas off. my caseworker comes wed

fraggie

fraggie

untitled

i dont even know what to name this one. went to church today and it was good. i get all built up, and feel like i can actually make it.....then, bam. why the hell do i keep bottoming out? i cut again today just to feeel better. my scars are embarrassing but its my way of dealing. my alcoholic husband always wants me to have a drink with him. im so tempted to get off all psych meds and drink again. see, i had to have my neck rebuilt and have a spinal cord injury so im in constant pain a

fraggie

fraggie

depression

what is depression? is it when you lose your desire is is when you want to isolate so bad depression takes me to a dark place it hurts, its lonely,its cold i watch others in pain it hurts me too the meds help but i feel it must come from me meds are NOT me i need ME to overcome. at least im not alone in this painful illness God help us all specially the ones who are ready to go/COLOR]

fraggie

fraggie

no name

people pass them everyday without knowing a thing about them why cant we stop and say we care, we will help them? when i help others my eyes are off me but its hard to try to heal andddd help others all at once. gosh i wanna help somebody but i cant even get myself well God please help me to see who needs the words i can tell

fraggie

fraggie

poem

today is a good day how long will it stay that way? dont worry about that just enjoy the feeling ive got be honest with myself it doesnt last forever but on days like this i ought prepare myself euphoria feels so good things just fall into place tomorrow might never come but today is a good place i know all is well i know it changes daily what is so wrong with enjoying no hell nothing is wrong, just ideas mainly positive talk helps a mind get through but on bad days it does no good today i choo

fraggie

fraggie

good day

today is a good day, but mornings usually are. no group today or any appts so gotta find something to do lol. its on these good days that i have to watch what i do. usually i do something totally crazy. last week my hubby gave me gas money, instead i got a tattoo. he was not happy, but i was. think ill read alot on here and stay out of trouble today . yall are great people!

fraggie

fraggie

poems help me cope

im diagnosed with mdd, but my counselor thinks im bipolar im confused so gonna write a poem. nobody can see what i feel inside, it embarrases me and makes me hide. the key to help is just out of reach, but i reach out to get it, with no luck. i love you, i hate you. i dont know you really. darkness is close, always running from it , its hard, its takes all i have to keep it together. thanks for reading

fraggie

fraggie

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